Would you apply for Clare’s Law check with no concerns about your partner?

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I would appreciate some objective views on this please.

I have been with my new partner for around four months. He couldn’t be more different from the men in my past relationships. He is kind, gentle, emotionally available, a devoted father and, so far, has given me absolutely no reason to think he is violent, abusive or controlling. There are currently no red flags that I can see and this isn’t about any concerns regarding him.

However, I have been in three domestically abusive relationships in the past. In one of those cases, I applied for a Clare’s Law disclosure and the police asked to meet me in person. They told me there was information about him that they considered concerning, although they could not tell me what it was.

That experience has left me wondering whether I should now apply for a Clare’s Law disclosure in my current relationship, even though I don’t have any concerns at all.

Before anyone suggests I need to work on my boundaries or self-esteem, I left each relationship when the domestic abuse became apparent. My concern isn’t that I stayed in abusive relationships; it’s that none of them appeared abusive at the beginning, which is why I’m questioning whether a Clare’s Law check is simply a sensible safeguarding measure for someone with my history.

Part of me thinks it is a practical precaution. Another part of me worries it is unfair or unnecessary when someone has done nothing to make me suspicious.

If you had a history of domestic abuse but no concerns about your current partner, would you apply for a Clare’s Law disclosure as a matter of routine?

Thank you for reading.

In your position I would apply for it. Better safe than sorry

I don't know enough about it, but it's not a service the police routinely offer, surely? There must be a threshold of concern otherwise they would be 8n7ndated with 5hem.

I think given your history, I would apply.

Yes apply. Hopefully one of the good ones. But put your mind at rest.

No because what is the point? it could come back with nothing doesnt mean I would be safe or there is no concerns or he isnt hiding something

if I ever got to the stage of needing that the relationship would be over in that instant regardless I dont need to keep my head in the sand

It doesn't apply to me but if I had a history of being sought out by abusers or if I had a child in my care I would.

Yes as a previous poster said, I'm sure there is a threshold and if your concerns don't meet the threshold they will not carry one out.
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However, (and I really don’t mean this to sound judgy) but you are obviously drawn towards a certain type of person through either poor judgement, lack of self esteem or just a very unfortunate lack of fish in the local gene pool then it seems in your case it would be something to consider.

I wish you well in your current relationship x

My understanding is that anyone can apply under the Right to Ask scheme and you don’t need evidence or a specific concern. I think the police then assess whether there is information that ought to be disclosed.

Do it, the whole point is its there to be checked.

It is supposed to be used if you have reasons to be concerned about your self or a loved one. In new relationships if you want to do a Claire’s law it’s time to end the relationship. I think you need to be honest with yourself about the reasons you’re considering this. If this guy is lovely, a feminist, has morals etc then would you really be considering this?

No this isn't true. Anyone can ask and one will be carried out but the information will only be disclosed if there is a reasonable risk of harm being perpetrated towards them

I wonder if something is making your subconscious uneasy, OP.

So does that mean if you’ve asked for one just to ‘check out ’ a new partner and there are no concerns or
the applicant is not at risk the police won’t disclose information?

Yes, I think it's worth applying given your partner history, and think it's a very sensible line of thinking. Don't know your childhood history at all, but if you've experienced abuse growing up it can sometimes be really hard to spot early signs of an abusive partner as an adult - the red flags often just don't register as they would for someone who hasn't had abuse "normalised"

As mentioned you don’t need a reason. Do it. There’s no point taking unnecessary risk just because they seem decent. That’s exactly how abusive men start out and you’ve been through enough so safeguarding yourself is the wise thing to do. He won’t find out either way it goes.

I was in a DV relationship for more than a decade. I like you had zero concerns about new partner but applied to Claires Law and explained my reasons why.

They followed through with the request and there was as I thought, Nothing to disclose. But at least I had that reassurance.

Respectfully, I think that’s a very simplistic view of domestic abuse. Most victims don’t knowingly choose abusive partners and many abusers don’t reveal that side of themselves until a relationship is established.

I also don’t think a history of domestic abuse automatically points to poor judgement or low self-esteem. In my case, I left at the first instance of physical violence in each relationship, which I would argue demonstrates self-respect and a willingness to walk away when a boundary is crossed.

My difficulty wasn’t recognising abuse once it occurred; it was that none of these men presented as abusive at the outset. That’s precisely why I’m asking about Clare’s Law. The question isn’t whether I ignored obvious warning signs, but whether someone with my history should consider it as a sensible safeguarding tool in future relationships.

Thank you for your well wishes though, he does seem like a good one!

My gut is extremely strong these days and there’s absolutely nothing in my subconscious that feels uneasy, which is a lovely feeling.

The reality is, you never really know. The most evil narcissists are great "game players" - their charm and presentation as a very likeable character is exactly what makes them so dangerous.
I married one.
When I left him and spoke out so many of our "friends" simply could not accept he was anything but perfect. They refused to.
They didn't see his mask come off behind closed doors.
It sounds counterintuitive, but if he comes across as "too good to be true", with absolutely not even the smallest flaws of character, then beware. Red flag in itself.

I've just looked it up to confirm how to spell this law and it's CLARE'S law.

Named for Clare Woods.

I’d apply, the partner wouldn’t find out and it would give you peace of mind.

I don’t think you read my post. No concerns whatsoever but three times bitten…..

These type seem to snuff out vulnerable women. You have been strong enough to get out early, which is to your credit, but given your history I think you should apply. Better safe than sorry.

i would have the full mi5/gchq profile if it was possible

I’ve definitely not been a vulnerable woman, I think I’ve just been bloody unlucky and have ended the relationship as soon as it happened.