WWYD - water fight party and nasty neighbour?

[GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf]

So, my son had asked for a water fight birthday for his 6th. Sounds fine, we’ve got loads of water guns ect, probably will be a pretty cheap party too.

The issue is, our garden isn’t going to be big enough or particularly good for that kind of thing but my dad’s is perfect. Literally ideal garden for it! He would be well up for hosting as well (he’ll probably bloody join in). All the parents of the kids who would be invited know him as he often does pick up, he also does community work sorting the local football club ect.

The only issue is his neighbour. The guy next door is not very nice. He has shouted at my kids a few times and last year it culminated in him grabbing my DD by the arm outside the front when she was playing (NOT ON HIS PROPERTY). Ultimately my dad saw this and went out and to be honest the only reason my dad didn’t batter him on the spot was because I got in the way. Tbh, if my daughter wasn’t stood there I’d have just let him thump the guy. This guy has an issue with all the kids on the street btw not just mine.

I really want to give my son a good party that he will remember, he’s been really great this year and has had some hard times which he’s handled like a champ but I’m worried. WWYD? Talk to the neighbour before hand? Or just try and find somewhere else? I can’t really do it in a public place or public park, I considered the beach or Loch Lomond but I don’t want to be responsible for that many kids around open water, plus we would need loads more adults.

YBU - patch the idea and do something else
YNBU - do it at your dad’s house and fuck the neighbour.

I agree.

Water fight parties are a risky choice even without a host who thumps people unless restrained by his DD who would have let him thump had her dc who had annoyed the neighbour who gets irate and assaults children not been there.

Too many explosive personalities involved in a highly-charged situation (and over-excited dc firing water at each other does get physical and highly charged).

Amazed that majority think this is a good plan. Suggest a different party to your DS that doesn’t involve pissing off neighbours.

Think really carefully - I would come down to making sure that the birthday boy gets to have a genuinely good time and nothing where adults' threatening behaviour, or the worry about it maybe coming out, would be able to spoil it.

It would be great to have it in the 'perfect garden' but not if there is going to be open stress and aggro, which it sounds could be possible given previous standoffs.

I would tell him in advance and, if he kicks off about it, inform him that the police will be called if he causes any trouble on the day and you'll inform them about his previous assault of your DD.

Hi all thanks for the replies.

We have decided to go ahead. My step mum is going to go ahead the day before and inform him. Out of everyone he’s actually never started on her, he’s yelled at pretty much everyone else on the street but never her so she’s a good bet. She can also definitely stand her ground if he kicks off. It’s going to be on a day when he’s at work. As for the other neighbours they’re going to be invited anyway as my kids often play with them. The kids on the street aren’t really “afraid” of him, they seem to just think he’s crazy.

It will be them, his cousins, his sister and a couple of kids from his class. For the kids in his class I’m going to give the parents a heads up and tell them the basic info so they can decide if they want their children to attend. If not then that’s fine and I will organise a play date with them instead, no hard feelings and I totally understand if they don’t fancy chancing it.

I know I could find a different venue but dads house is really good and is accessible, my SIL has mobility issues so our house can be a bit of a challenge for her and a lot of public places aren’t great. My son can also sometimes struggle a bit in unfamiliar settings, so I know he will be able to relax and have fun at his grandads house. Dad also has a massive TV (like, obscenely big it’s chavtastic) which would be great for a movie and maybe some Mario kart racing later in the evening.

Have a wonderful day!

I think your solution sounds like a good one - hope the birthday boy has a great day!

I'm a bit baffled by all the suggestions to have a water fight at a local park - where will you get all the water from?

I'm surprised you didn't report him to the police. Grabbing a child is not OK, shouting obscenities at them is not OK. He sounds deranged.

This would make me think twice, especially if you dad is likely to deck the guy. That's the kids seeing a fight anf probably your dad on a charge.

Right? And if you did manage to drag gallons and gallons over then surely you’ll just end up soaking random strangers.

she was a very spoilt woman (parents had broken up when she was small and both tried to outdo each other by buying her endless crap)

she was a nasty bully at school-her only friends where her hangers on

her whole life became what she could tell tales about and to who to about me for some reason but was a bloody good actress-ive seen her fake tears when called out on the bullying

i think the police,ss,council,mp,rspca,rspcc,school,my family and any other poor soul that had to deal with her,took a deep intake of breath at her name popping up

she reported me for every tiny thing she thought she could-she once reported me for having sex one afternoon-i wasn't even at home,we'd gone on holiday for the week and another time she reported my dc for throwing stones at her window-we where at my brothers wedding at the exact time she reported them

and then she went mental as id taken the kids out of school for the week (school had given full permission back in the days when you could do that)

shes not unhappily divorced,one kid was pregnant at 14 and the other is in and out of prison

anyway,i hope op's dc has a lovely birthday-i love a water fight and am jealous i dont know her or id be there in a shot!

Most neighbours used to a quiet neighbourhood aren't going to be pleased with a screaming bunch of noisy kids being imported from elsewhere. It's very inconsiderate. Just book somwhere suitable.

What could possibly go wrong !

I think this is a terrible idea. You're hosting it at your dad's who's a hothead and he's got a hotheaded neighbour.

Neighbour's going to come home and find his backyard and stuff all wet and he and your dad might have a big fight. If one of them gets hurt, is a kid's party at your dad's worth that?

Could you approach the neighbour and offer to pay for him to out for lunch for the duration of the party?

This is completely normal phrasing if you live in Glasgow. And FYI that city was the friendliest and nicest place I ever lived. Have you never been? You're missing out.

Lived here all my life and that's normal phrasing for certain type of people.

ETA I've lived in the east end of Glasgow all my life and that's why I can recognise yours and your father's reactive personality.

take him round a cake or bottle of beer or something to butter him up first and let him know. Let him know the times in case he wants to be our.

Just wow - what an absolute binfire of a life!!

I hate to break it to you, but if this party goes ahead as planned it's going to end with your dad getting a ride in a police car, the neighbour showing off a black eye and his best compo face on the front page of the local rag, and no child ever being allowed to attend one of your kids parties ever again. Seriously, the more I read about your dad's relationship with the neighbour the worse the idea of him hosting the party sounds. There's a better than average chance that, given a weeks notice, the neighbour just stays in his back garden being verbally abusive the entire duration of the party, and your dad ends up chinning him. It's just not worth it.

Not you are asking , but i think a water fight party is not a great idea for 6 year olds. It sounds a lot of fun, but tge reality is
you will end up with some over excited hyper kids who won't adhere to the boundaries, you will have , cold wet miserable kids who have had enough longbefore orhers are ready to finish.
Choose a different activity.

I would go ahead with it and if he starts swearing, report him to the police as it is an offence.
When they attend, they can explain to him that grabbing someone’s child is assault and swearing at children is breach of the peace.
That might encourage him to change his future behaviour and save your dad from a criminal record.

You can maybe offer that man a few hours away from his house, like a lunch or something payed by you?
Do it in writing and make copies/screenshots.
if he refuses, go to the local police, explain the situation, tell them you offered a compensation, show them your screenshots as prove.
Do that well in advance, then I don't think he will get what he wants from the police.
most police officers have children too 😊

Come off it. A few buckets to refil at the local park would be just as accessible to everyone. You’re just choosing not to.

Genuinely curious as it never occurred to me to try this. Have you had a water fight in a park? How do you get the buckets there? Where do you refill? How do you make sure randoms aren’t hit? I feel like water fights are such carnage and use so much water I can’t work out how I’d manage in a city park. Maybe it’s just the ones around here - there’s no water source and people everywhere usually.