WWYD - water fight party and nasty neighbour?

[GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf]

So, my son had asked for a water fight birthday for his 6th. Sounds fine, we’ve got loads of water guns ect, probably will be a pretty cheap party too.

The issue is, our garden isn’t going to be big enough or particularly good for that kind of thing but my dad’s is perfect. Literally ideal garden for it! He would be well up for hosting as well (he’ll probably bloody join in). All the parents of the kids who would be invited know him as he often does pick up, he also does community work sorting the local football club ect.

The only issue is his neighbour. The guy next door is not very nice. He has shouted at my kids a few times and last year it culminated in him grabbing my DD by the arm outside the front when she was playing (NOT ON HIS PROPERTY). Ultimately my dad saw this and went out and to be honest the only reason my dad didn’t batter him on the spot was because I got in the way. Tbh, if my daughter wasn’t stood there I’d have just let him thump the guy. This guy has an issue with all the kids on the street btw not just mine.

I really want to give my son a good party that he will remember, he’s been really great this year and has had some hard times which he’s handled like a champ but I’m worried. WWYD? Talk to the neighbour before hand? Or just try and find somewhere else? I can’t really do it in a public place or public park, I considered the beach or Loch Lomond but I don’t want to be responsible for that many kids around open water, plus we would need loads more adults.

YBU - patch the idea and do something else
YNBU - do it at your dad’s house and fuck the neighbour.

The neighbour sounds awful.

That said you know this is going to cause problems so as a pp said just book a pool party.

To appease your conscience and in the spirit of good manners you could give him the heads up in advance that you’re having a party.

Ask him if he’d like to join in after the kids have had a go? Maybe he feels left out….

Failing that give him a blast. Miserable old so-and-so. It’s only water.

This!
he sounds vile I’d have called the police myself!
but people have the right to have fun

Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen to be honest! I'd look for another venue, maybe have it at your house for food etc and then take them to a local park?

Update: so my step mum is a bit of a nosey lady (love her but she is) and she just texted me with the guys works schedule 😭. My son’s birthday is in the summer hols, so I think we can avoid the crisis by just having it on the day/times he’s working. Also she ended the texts with “and if he kicks off I’ll go round and he’ll wish it was your dad” which is funny as she’s 4’11… but she’s bloody scary

You want to give your son a party he’ll remember? Trust me, nobody remembers the water fight party they had when they were 6. I doubt most people truthfully remember the parties they had at that age.

It's etc. not ect

Why can you not have it in a public park?

You could have a super soaker ready to blast him with if he starts swearing!

Only joking - if you’ve definitely got his work schedule, then you’re laughing. Hope you get good weather.

Your stepmom is an absolute gem!!!

We’re in Glasgow so on any hot day the parks are full of people drinking and pic nicking. I have visions of one of them super soaking some GU students or something 😭.

@UncannyFanny i remember some of my parties from that age. At 6 I had a bouncy castle and it was probably one of the best days of my life (well, best days of my childhood, I think wedding and birth of my kids do top it now but it’s close).

This sounds enormously stressful. You’ll be so anxious about him coming back unexpectedly and kicking off. His shift might change, he might be off sick… too many variables. It’s such a shame but I’d be too worried to do this. Water gun fights are noisy and chaotic and there’s no way to avoid having water all over all the neighbours - I know this as my kids have a propensity for random
water fights. I do run to my neighbours if they have laundry out but thankfully they are happy for kids to have fun outside.

This neighbour sounds like a nightmare but you’d never forgive yourself if he attacks one of your guests - or indeed your child again.

To be fair, if the police turn up to your kids birthday party, that makes it the best party ever 😂 the kids would love it!

*etc… etc etc etc etc

Would like to see the GU students soak your little crotch goblins with some buckfast, now that would be a party 😂

I think you need to develop a similar habit of calling the police on grown men who lay their hands on your kid because wtf? Unacceptable

True in the case of the OP; but hopefully the PP to whom I responded doesn't also have a nasty angry man next door.

Put a polite note through the door.

I've been on both sides of the fence. One nearby neighbour went absolute bonkers once but I later felt what she was feeling and what fed ( no excuse) her behaviour choices. I understood when I became vulnerable and in a position where I was struggling to be reasonable all the time.

If neighbour feels like he is being validated and respected ( yes he might not deserve it), it might change his reaction to the party. It would for me.

People play scripts in their heads such as feeling they're being deliberately disrespected etc. We could all go down this road under the right circumstances and stressors. The note could help with that part and then you know you've done all you can and the right thing.

Your dad's need to thump neighbour needs to be kept out of this. If neighbour is being a prick then deal with him the right way. Your note is the right way.

That's very true. I think I was about 5/6 when one of my friends had the fire brigade turn up.to her birthday party (technically they were actually going to the next door neighbour. Can't remember why as I definitely don't recall a fire) and all games of pass the parcel were abandoned as we all shot to the window to ogle at the fire engine. It was definitely the highlight of the party.

Also @GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf your SM sounds amazing. And if she's at a loose end please could you ship her South, as she sounds like someone we could do with running the country 😂.

i see crisis avoided, but I would’ve put a note through the door stating the facts, no ifs or buts this is what’s happening!

Don’t think the police would be much interested in a child’s party! What did they say about being called about a BBQ? To be honest they should’ve given the NDN a warning!

Whilst I wouldn't want kids to be caught up as collateral and upset, I despise the way these nasty neighbours just make wholly unreasonable demands and expect everybody to obey.

Just who do they think they are? Fine if they choose a life of pointless misery for themselves, but they are not the lord of the manor and they don't get to dictate how normal decent people live their lives normally.

It's bad enough when these people try to make other adults comply and jump to their pathetic tune; but I'm actually angry on OP's behalf that this man should take pleasure from spoiling the harmless fun for a young child and his friends.

It's also very shortsighted on their part, as we all age - and there may well come a time when these horrible curmudgeons come to depend on the young adults who were once the children they were vile to. Delightful Doris who always had a smile and a cheery word for us when we were young needs help putting her bins out... of course, it's the very least we can do for her. So does Nasty Norman who always tried to spoil our fun as kids and look for pointless trouble to make for everybody in the street... well, he can get stuffed.

Honestly, I wouldn't host a party in a garden next door to a person like that. I know you should be able to, but you can't trust him to behave so why risk it? Doing it at the beach or loch would be a nightmare, but I'm not sure why you can't do it in a public park? That type of party was fairly common amongst my kids friends for a while (water or nerf guns in a park with party food set up on the picnic tables).

Exactly, it could be a problem waiting to happen. Even very good kids can get over excited and there's lots of risk here.

What about Mugdock Park or Pollok Park depending on what part of the city you are in? They're much less likely to be full of people drinking than the city centre parks and big enough to find quiet areas.

Can you hire some temporary fencing or cover the fence on nasty neighbours's side with a roll of bamboo or something so he can't see what's going on?