WWYD - water fight party and nasty neighbour?

[GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf]

So, my son had asked for a water fight birthday for his 6th. Sounds fine, we’ve got loads of water guns ect, probably will be a pretty cheap party too.

The issue is, our garden isn’t going to be big enough or particularly good for that kind of thing but my dad’s is perfect. Literally ideal garden for it! He would be well up for hosting as well (he’ll probably bloody join in). All the parents of the kids who would be invited know him as he often does pick up, he also does community work sorting the local football club ect.

The only issue is his neighbour. The guy next door is not very nice. He has shouted at my kids a few times and last year it culminated in him grabbing my DD by the arm outside the front when she was playing (NOT ON HIS PROPERTY). Ultimately my dad saw this and went out and to be honest the only reason my dad didn’t batter him on the spot was because I got in the way. Tbh, if my daughter wasn’t stood there I’d have just let him thump the guy. This guy has an issue with all the kids on the street btw not just mine.

I really want to give my son a good party that he will remember, he’s been really great this year and has had some hard times which he’s handled like a champ but I’m worried. WWYD? Talk to the neighbour before hand? Or just try and find somewhere else? I can’t really do it in a public place or public park, I considered the beach or Loch Lomond but I don’t want to be responsible for that many kids around open water, plus we would need loads more adults.

YBU - patch the idea and do something else
YNBU - do it at your dad’s house and fuck the neighbour.

Why would it be mortifying if the police turn up? Mortifying for the timewaster who called them out because some children were having some normal, harmless fun, yes; but not for the kids themselves or their families.

If I were the local police, I would be looking to either press charges against him for repeated harassment and police time-wasting, or otherwise insist that he get the treatment that he needs if he has MH problems that are making him act this way. He might think twice about making vexatious calls if he knows that he risks arrest or sanctions.

I find it so very sad that a 6yo wants a nice, harmless, fun outdoor party with his mates, and he's told that he can't have it because one nasty person who lives nearby thinks that he owns the whole neighbourhood and should get his own miserable way 100% of the time.

So my dads got big hedges most of the way round. There’s a bit of a gap that’s just fence that he tends to pop his head over. The garden is overlooked though so he would be able to see from his top window. Hopefully he’ll be at work, if not then I guess we can just deal with it.

also for those asking when he calls the police they don’t tend to do anything as nothing is happening. I think he might just be a fucking nutter. I’ve tried the sympathy approach myself thinking he was a lonely old guy but he called me a “leggy fucking bitch”.

Also I feel the need to make this clear: my dad isn’t violent. He never even shouted at us as kids he just proper lost his temper that one time. Never yelled at my mum when they were married, never yelled at my step mum. He looks scary but he’s not.

She has his work schedule?

Ultimately my dad saw this and went out and to be honest the only reason my dad didn’t batter him on the spot was because I got in the way. Tbh

I’m contemplating sending DH round because as much as my dad is normally pretty chill he’s been looking for an excuse to deck the guy since he laid a hand on his granddaughter. DH

Your Dad is a violent man.

Some may say understandably so under the circumstances, but he is actually violent, or at least this is what you’re telling us.

Some people do indeed remember very special childhood moments for decades to come, if not until the day they die; but even if he doesn't - even if he only remembers it for a few weeks - why is that not still a precious time for him? After all, a few weeks when you're only 6 seems like absolutely ages!

When then police turn up deny all knowledge of a water fight and tell them they just missed a spot of rain!

Police very I likely to come out to a report of "Some noisy kids got my patio wet" anyway.

It's not even like a water fight is breaking any kind of law in the first place. It's definitely very much 'water' and extremely little 'fight'. You may as well call the police because your neighbour has a green front door!

To be honest a water fight party sounds like a bad idea. It will ultimately end up with overexcited and overwhelmed children and has the potential to result in upset children anyway. I’d find a different activity tbh.
I’d be pretty pissed off if my neighbours chose to host such a party in their gardens and made a horrific amount of noise. Nobody likes listening to screaming children. It’s antisocial and inconsiderate.

@GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf did you report him to the police when he grabbed your child by the arm?

Yes and fuck all actually happened. That’s a whole other thread because I’m still fuming. He basically just got a taking to. Looking back I wish I’d taken her inside and let my dad leather him.

I would tell the neighbor the party time including what time it will end.

then I would not only tell the children to avoid overspray, I would arrange the garden to discourage the neighbor’s garden specifically. That part of the garden is the perfect spot for setting up the food tables. No water on the sausage rolls.

Give over, the other guy laid his hands on a child!

Why not just give him a water shooter and ask him to join in?

Kill two birds (or a neighbour) with one stone

Water Cannon!

Yes he does, however the OPs dad sounds almost as bad. He’s spoiling for a fight.

Not what you asked, but as mentioned up thread, is this really a good idea for a party? We did similar for my birthday at around 8 yrs old, they lasted about 20 mins before they got bored and cold, and several didn't really enjoying being shot at! then we had to manage ten kids getting dried and dressed all over the house before moving into other games. So if you do go ahead make sure you've got other plans to fill the time and thought about logistics of however many soggy cold kids

Oh that’s a fair point. I would say that my kids’ friends are 50/50 on the water fight and there’s always several who opt out or hate water in their face or run inside halfway through. Presumably you’ll have other things happening too though. Is your dad’s house big enough to move inside?

oh and what are you thinking for refilling? We have a very old water table but if it’s more than maybe 4/5 kids we fill the paddling pool for them.

@GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf:YBU - patch the idea and do something else
YNBU - do it at your dad’s house and fuck the neighbour.

I don't think you need to fuck the neighbour, unless you think that would get him onside, but engaging with him is probably the best way forward. Also maybe commit to a limited amount of time. Your DS is only 6 so 45 minutes of water fight is probably plenty for him and his friends, followed by 20 minutes of lunch and cake and a bit of time for them to just play. 90 minutes is long enough for a party at that age.

Oh and have a few extra sets of willing hands, some carrier bags and a million towels! The end result of grass covered shivering children all trying to change clothes simultaneously and leaving random wet stuff all over my carpet isn’t my favourite.

I wouldn't want my kids at a party next to that neighbour, sounds like he's prone to kicking off around kids playing.
I get that your Dad has a great garden for water fights in, but doesn't sound like it's particularly safe.
He grabbed a child and is prone to language like that?
Nope.

I get the feeling there's more to this. The ops language is quite aggressive "battering" and "leathering". I think there's probably been a few incidents that the op's not mentioning.

What a miserable response.

Sorry what do you want me to say ?? “Fisticuffs” ?? Give over. My dad has never hit anyone that I’ve seen, he got a bit pissed when someone grabbed his granddaughter. He’s not perfect and he looks a bit rough looking, he has a bee in his bonnet about someone manhandling a small child.. yes he’s a violent sociopath who should be locked up.

Came to say the same. One of my dc went to a water fight party and it was hands down the greatest disaster of a party we have even attended.

I think water fights are the kind of thing that can be fun if they happen organically but can't be staged. They were about the same age (6 or 7) and half of them ended up in tears or thumping each other. Water went in eyes, people "cheated," flailing water guns hit people in the face, which included a bleeding nose that went everywhere so it was like a crime scene.

In the end several of us had to step in and dry them off, fling pizzas in the oven early and settle them with a dvd - but there were still the occasional snivelling, shuddering aftershock sobs.

Children think a water fight sounds fun cos they imagine it going their way. He is only 6 and maybe doesn't know what he'd most enjoy in reality.

Your dad would have hit the neighbour and you'd have condoned it and that's not to mention the language your children must be all too familiar with. Your poor kids don't stand a chance.