WWYD - water fight party and nasty neighbour?

[GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf]

So, my son had asked for a water fight birthday for his 6th. Sounds fine, we’ve got loads of water guns ect, probably will be a pretty cheap party too.

The issue is, our garden isn’t going to be big enough or particularly good for that kind of thing but my dad’s is perfect. Literally ideal garden for it! He would be well up for hosting as well (he’ll probably bloody join in). All the parents of the kids who would be invited know him as he often does pick up, he also does community work sorting the local football club ect.

The only issue is his neighbour. The guy next door is not very nice. He has shouted at my kids a few times and last year it culminated in him grabbing my DD by the arm outside the front when she was playing (NOT ON HIS PROPERTY). Ultimately my dad saw this and went out and to be honest the only reason my dad didn’t batter him on the spot was because I got in the way. Tbh, if my daughter wasn’t stood there I’d have just let him thump the guy. This guy has an issue with all the kids on the street btw not just mine.

I really want to give my son a good party that he will remember, he’s been really great this year and has had some hard times which he’s handled like a champ but I’m worried. WWYD? Talk to the neighbour before hand? Or just try and find somewhere else? I can’t really do it in a public place or public park, I considered the beach or Loch Lomond but I don’t want to be responsible for that many kids around open water, plus we would need loads more adults.

YBU - patch the idea and do something else
YNBU - do it at your dad’s house and fuck the neighbour.

Why can’t you do it in a park? Or a venue that provides open spaces?

Because she'd rather wind up her dad's neighbour which I suspect they've got a history of doing.

What lead up to him manhandling (which he shouldn't have done) your child?

Kids were playing on the street. Not just my kids, other kids on the street, ages about 5-12, general silliness. I did not see it, she fell over (had a big skid on her knee and leg) and next thing I know he grabbed her and dad was outside. I cannot say I saw what happened. From what the kids have told me the ball bounce off his car but I don’t really know, and no, there was no damage to the car and also it’s not exactly an Aston Martin. I told them not to play near his house and no ball games round that end of the street.

The neighbour sounds horrible but if the garden is ideal in every way I would do it and maybe with the help of your stepmum schedule the party on a day he is working.

Posts like this always makes me think there’s two sides to every story. Parents often downplay the behaviour of their kids and make the neighbour out to be the bad guy, because they’re economical with the truth.

I kind of agree. However annoying the neighbour is, he actually doesn’t live next door to the kids, and so it’s not reasonable to expect a random birthday party. You should give him a heads up, even if it’s planned for a day he isn’t there, so he can get any washing or belongings away from splashes if he wants to. But then crack on, and the consequences good or bad are all yours.

I'm near loch lomond, outdoor space if needed, the top of Balloch Park near the castle? Or Levengrove Park near the water where it's flatter? Or Christie park in the green bit? Or even the green space between Go Ape at Limond Shores, and the Cameron House? Or the green space at the Duck Bay?

Wow, reading some of the posts on here is insane. Grumpy guy grabs the arm of a child on her family’s property, calls the mother a “leggy f*ucking bitch”, swears at children, and a grandfather who has never been known to throw a punch by his daughter gets riled by this guy - and OP and her family are the problem? Mumsnet is insane. I actually think there are just Russian bots or maybe Putin himself tapping away on his computer just stoking all the mums throughout the world to retain his feeble grip on power. Or maybe Marky Mark Z is behind the mumsnet bots, or both. Divide and rule. It makes me worry for democracy when I read mumsnet. We’re doomed.

Have the party OP. Call the police on the neighbour if he continues with physical or verbal abuse. Send your step mum round. Do it when he has work. Send your husband round to let him know about the party in advance. Also, words like “lamping” “decking” “leathering” etc etc. Great words. Wondering if there’s a cultural chasm, thinking Mid West perhaps where guns are fine but “leathering” is not; clearly not aware of what may be required to be on one’s guard on a Sat night in Glasgow city centre.

@ec5881 beat me to it: I'm struggling to follow this - the neighbour grabbed a child by the arm, the relative was rightly angry, but apparently they should let this dickhead know about a party in order to be polite?! Why weren't the police involved when he grabbed the child the first time?!

But all that aside, it's unlikely to work out well. Try to find something else. And if neighbour ever approaches you or your family again report him.

@UncannyFanny Trust me…… you are wrong!
I remember lots about my childhood parties my brothers and friends parties I went to. Loads of memories.
Weird to make a blanket assumption that just cos you don’t, no one else does. I bet lots of people remember as much as I do.

About 7 years back we also had a miserable joyless bugger of a neighbour. He took an instant dislike to us for absolutely no reason - and hated everyone else on the street aswell - especially anyone with kids - even though our two DDs are so polite and well mannered. My DH got quite depressed over it. Eventually I wrote a polite note to said neighbour in a bid to try to reason with him and asked him exactly what the problem was. A week later he put his house up for sale! Result! We've had lovely replacement neighbours every since:)
Maybe your dad should write a note to his neighbour lol?

I was at M&Ds with my parents and my at the time 3yo daughter. Some wee dick decided to spit off the big wheel and it landed on her. It was a toss up between me and my dad as to who was gonna leather him.

When i say wee dick he was in his 20s.

I’m not sure your username correlates with your comment. BeSuspiciousAndJudgementalAndAccusatory?

Physically grabbed a child, called mum “a leggy fucking bitch” when trying to show him sympathy, uses works like “cunt” to children, and the OP should be treated with suspicion because her father became irate at said grabbing (I am irate and I don’t even know the child) and children were playing with a ball… as they do… you know.

Any one of these on their own is awful - imagine your neighbour walking about their
garden, audibly and intentionally swearing abusive swear words so that children could hear them.

I think when the police or council are called by this guy, they will have the measure of him. My best friend has a neighbour like this atm and it is hell for them. He is trying to sue them for ruining his life. Just a family, existing. When the police and council get his many letters, that he also sends by registered post to them nextdoor, the authorities know who is the party who have the wrong end of the stick. It’s very, very sad in their case. Their lives are unbearable, and his is too. Very sad.

Far from imploring love and happiness for people’s lives as your username attests (which I think is lovely by the way), this backwards, accusatory take is kind of cruel.

Are we reading the same original
post?

I'd have the party. I'd put something up on the bit of fence he peers over so he can't see in. I'd put the same note through everyone's door with timings (that you adhere to!) and keep a copy in case the police are called (deal with them in the house and children won't be bothered). If he stands at an upstairs window shouting, turn it into a funny turn to make the children laugh. Nobody goes out the front until parents arrive for pick up and if he appears, frothing at the mouth, then continue to make it a joke. Have fun!

Given the history, I would not risk doing it at your dad’s. If he kicks off (which seems likely) and attacks another child or distresses them in some way, you’re going to have angry parents on your back which you don’t need. You should have reported him for assaulting your DD btw…

Yanbu but I might warn the parents not to park in front of neighbour’s house as he gets upset, and ask them to park further away

Bad idea OP.

A water fight is just going to be noisy and messy no matter what you do and will affect the neighbours.

It is just a disaster waiting to happen so why risk it?

Instead look at booking an external venue and check local swimming pools that offer birthday rentals or scale down your plans and use your own garden.

Why risk scaring the kids at a birthday party? Its not worth the risk. From your descriptions it sounds like the neighbour will get angry. It's not the time to make a point or test him out.

You know that water will end up in the surrounding gardens though. Whilst I would love it if my garden got free water in thsi heat, he clearly will object. It sounds like a great fun party idea, bit wrong location.

Threats of taking away a party bag do not make for a fun party. Imagine that conversation at school after, no one will want to come to your kid's parties again.

we had a neighbour that rang the council and rspca because we left our dog outside in all weathers and where badly abusing the poor animal

the rspca did come out,demanding to see the dog

i don't (and never have) owned a dog

she kept demanding to see it and i kept explaining i cant show her what i don't bloody own

took about half an hour and going through my cupboards for proof (i'm guessing tins of dog food/a lead/poo bags which i didn't have as i didn't have a dog)

another time,my friends rabbit died and because she didn't have a garden,she asked if she could bury it with our long gone hamsters/fish/gerbils in my garden

i agreed and she rocked up with bugs bunny in a hatbox and we started digging a hole

shit stirring neighbour was gawping at us through her window and my mate saw her (i just ignored her) and shouted 'yes love!its a dead body!' and carried on digging

within ten minutes,we had the police stood in my garden,asking what the hell we thought we where doing?

she'd only rang them and told them i had a friend round and was trying to bury a body-i'm told she'd hit the 9's and had cried down the phone

we showed them the dead body and they went round to 'have a word' with her

she tried a few more times to call them out for me playing my music too loudly or using my own garden before we moved

they knew she was just a time waster and where fed up of her-i'm told she's still at it with her new neighbour (or is trying to as new neighbour is tougher than she is)

she'd been a bully at school and never grew out of it

i can laugh now but at the time,it was bloody stressful-both true stories as if i was reading this i'd be like 'yeah,right' but i swear it's true

Wow - that is absolutely bonkers! People like this must have very dull lives if the only way they can fill their time is by focusing on the (usually mundane) minutiae of other people's lives.

You often can't tell if they genuinely do have mental health issues, are just nasty bullies or - I dare say - a mixture of both.

What I don't get is why they are believed - even when they're already well-known as liars and time-wasting busybodies - over the ordinary folk whom they vexatiously report.

Let him know it is happening and so he can stay out of the way. The next time he touches one of the kids point out this constitutes assault and you are calling the police.
It's your Dad's land, it's nothing to do with him if you are not causing a nuisance.

This. Just have it somewhere else.

It’s a one off. Have your dad TELL him not ask that he will be hosting a birthday party for the child on x date between x and x times and that you are doing the courtesy of telling him in advance so he can make alternate plans for the day if he wishes. He cannot dictate what neighbours do in their garden especially as a once of. You are unreasonable however for not having report this neighbour for assaulting your child. Personally I would also seize the opportunity to tell him if he ever lays hands on your child again the police will be called.