Inheritance vs helping out

[FizzyPopLove]

My mother died and left her five children her house in her will.

She said for one year, her eldest son, my brother, could continue living in the house. He lived with her when she was alive for a bit of rent. After that one year, it was to be agreed between us five siblings what should be done about the house.

It’s now been seven years. He still lives there rent free. We have not pressured him to leave the house so we can realise our inheritance. Perhaps we should. He has bought out one sibling so he now own 2/5s of the house.

The house is really not looked after. He doesn’t seem to see what needs doing. He is resistant to finding a smaller property that is more suitable for him living alone.

My ds has found a job in the same city as the house and I thought it might be a good idea for him to stay in the house too for six months whilst he passes his probation period, saves up some money etc. My brother is reluctant to enable this. He’s worried ds will stay for longer than 6 months. It’s a 3 bed house.

AIBU to be cheesed off? He’s saved up thousands of pounds by not paying rent or a mortgage and the rest of us siblings have all paid mortgages or rent for all of our working lives.

We have been really not pushy about realising our inheritance but I feel he could be open to helping out ds1 in this way?

Have I understood? He's overstayed his 1 year, but is worried (and is articulating this worry) that your son might do the same?

Have you talked to your siblings who still have a share in the house?

If they support you in this then that's a 3/5ths majority and gives him less reason to object.

Your brother is taking the piss now!!! It’s not his house he owns a share of it so that means all of the other owners can live in the house too if they want to! He either buys all of you out now or you put the house on the market for sale

Depending on your age and your financial situation, Why don't you gift your share to your son and then he can stay in the house that he part owns.

It seems to me that you just want to let this go and not claim your inheritance.

Yes. And as I said before @FizzyPopLove , you can't just let it go. Because it will never go away. That 20% of the house will be part of probate and part of your will when you die. Your kids will have a nightmare over it. They may have to pay inheritance tax on something you've never had the benefit of. It will hold up the disbursement of your estate. I'm absolutely not joking when I say it could take years and years for them to deal with, and in the meantime they won't be able to use a penny of what's in your estate, while paying for all the legal costs month by month.

I'm sorry to keep pushing this, but I'm only a month into getting my life back after two years of dealing with this kind of situation. And it only involved one other person. I still don't have my mental health back properly.

I'd tell him either your son moves in rent free or he's going to have to sell so you have the money to pay for other accommodation. If he doesn't want to sell then he needs to pay you for your share.

Presumably you have otherwise good relations with your siblings and don't want to fall out over this. Therefore surely you have to just persuade him to let your son stay. Presumably since it appears you are otherwise on good terms he will eventually relent?!

Does DS even want to stay in the house with his elderly uncle? I wouldn’t have at his age.

i actually think DS should find a house share with people his own age. Even if he does have to pay. After all, if the house had been sold 6 years ago that’s what DS would have to do now.

Is your brother in a position to give you a fifth of the house value to support your financial situation?
That seems fair.
And I totally understand why you feel upset that he doesn't want your son to stay there. It's your house as much as your brother's and he is getting a good deal re not paying any rent or mortgage, that would be an absolute luxury for most.

To buy some Limited possible family upset now. Don’t let the whole situation grind you all down over the next 20+ years.

Apologies if this has already been said but 1/5 ownership doesn’t give you a right to occupy and legally as the owners the repairs fall on you and your siblings (not morally obviously). Is the property properly insured?

Enforce what terms of the will?

According to the OP:

"... She said for one year, her eldest son, my brother, could continue living in the house. He lived with her when she was alive for a bit of rent. After that one year, it was to be agreed between us five siblings what should be done about the house..."

The will doesn't appear to say anything about selling the house after a year

The problem is that the five four siblings cannot agree on what to do with the property.

The one who lives there doesn't want to sell it;
the two other siblings aren't bothered whether it's sold or not;
I'm not sure even the OP wants to sell it - she's just concerned about her son being allowed to live there for six months.

If anything they appear to have agreed NOT to sell it and to let the oldest brother continue living there rent free

I'd have to say the wording of the will seems particularly stupid to me. I'm surprised the OP's mother's solicitor didn't point it out whan drafting the will.

This seems fair to me. Brother is being an ungrateful nob about this set up, he should have been paying you all rent for six years!

The house is yours as much as it is his. Of course DS should stay there - you could move in too if you wanted as you have as much right to it as your brother does. Unless he offers to buy you out of course and then DS will have no right to live there.

It’s grossly unfair but you can’t force your brother to allow your son to stay. It sounds as though your brother has no intention of ever leaving the house and your siblings don’t mind this. If this continues, it will create a whole world of problems for the next generation. Maybe explain this to your siblings to help them understand that selling the house (or them jointly buying you out) is the only option. If they refuse, you can take them to court and you will win but the costs can be prohibitively expensive.

A will is a legally binding document but without a court order to enforce it, it’s just a piece of paper. Your mum didn’t specify what should happen with this property but even if she had, you’d still be in the same position if your brother refused to move out.

Maybe pose it like, if you're not comfortable having your nephew staying then maybe it's best you buy my share?

This is how I would approach it. Your family are paying 2 sets of living costs while he's paying none. That's not fair at all.

I think it's kind to allow your brother to continue to live there if you and your other two siblings don't require your share of the inheritance at present. We have something similar in our family. However, your brother needs to allow your son to live there for 6 mo. You should not be reluctant to push on that as it's only fair. Also, your brother should be looking after the property to preserve your investment. That is also only fair.

Yep its not DB choice. Your DS can move in anytime.

I suspect the other siblings not being bothered about selling could be an issue.
Realistically more pressure could be brought to bear if you all felt the same way, whereas now he could try to play you all off against each other

In many ways it's a shame your mum left the problem to all of you rather than deciding this herself, but clearly it's not okay for your brother to stay and pay no rent

Good luck getting it sorted though, because I doubt it'll be easy

I guess you express that if DS can’t stay there then you will need your share of market rental to enable DS to rent elsewhere.

Then wheels in motion to sell it.

I think I would get the ball rolling by contacting a solicitor to get the house sold. Tell your siblings that you plan to do so as they may all prefer to sell too.

I think you tell him your son is moving in to the house you partially own and on which no rent is being paid, or the house can be sold so you can finally receive your inheritance and help your own family out (including your son).

My comment is not really directed at Op.

But it is amazing Op only thinhs DB is being unreasonable in not letting ds1 stay for 6 months.

truth is, db has correctly communicated he fears ds1 might stay longer than 6 months. He should know, seeing his own circumstances are a mirror.

truth is, your ds1 staying MUST be approved by all 4 of you. So why do you think it’s up to db? In fact it would be wrong for him to agree to anyone else staying at property. You clearly said Will said it’s for the 5 of you (now 4) to decide.

can you at least see that?

My personal opinion is that your DB has a moral obligation to let his DN stay. You’ve let him live there for 7 years!! Rent free, the least he can do is let DN stay whilst he gets on his feet.

But, this isn’t a moral obligation, and there’s a reason why families fall out over wills/somebody dying.

You’ve not shared what your other siblings think. Surely if you get the other two on board it’s an easy win as it’s literally the majority.

At this point I’d say your DB has burnt his bridges with you and your generosity. Either he buys you out, one of the others buy you out or you sell. At a push he could pay you 1/5 of the going rate, but I probably not recommend as I’m guessing you’ll have to make sure the house is energy efficient/pay insurance/boiler checks/carbon dioxide alarms etc.

This he buys you out or you move in WITH son - he will soon move out