To think 26 year old dating 19 year old is weird?

[ChicJoker]

I’ll leave sexes anonymous. I know both parties well, they have been dating for around 2 months. One is my sibling. I feel really really irked by it. It’s weird right?

Your mistake is to judge everybody else based on your own standards or behaviour.

My husband is 8 and a half years older than I am, but we've only been together since 1977, so it probably won't last. 😉

There are 19-year-olds who are childish and then there are 19-year-olds who are serious, mature for their age, and know their own mind. Your sibling (according to you) is more the first type, but based on this thread, some of your attitudes aren't particularly mature, either. Maybe you're not in a place to judge, really.

Americans apparently find this sort of thing super weird and get really het up about it.

Do you generally imagine that over 300 million people all get "het up" about any one thing? Because we don't. We're actually all different, just like you, I expect.

I have managed to read the thread and agree with @x2boys. You have an immutable view of age gaps, OP, so why bother posting your question?

And fwiw when people are sarcastic on MN it usually indicates to me that they know they're losing an argument...

So if he's 26 he can't work in a bar or a bank etc then? Weird

No, not weird at all. A 7 year gap is nothing.

If 19yo is the male - then generally I'd think that a 26yo female is being a bit weird. Simply because women do mature a bit faster. And 19yo boys are still very much kids - albeit in fully grown bodies. And 26yo women are often ready to start looking for a partner to settle down with and have kids in the next 5(ish) years)

If the 26yo is a male - and still live at home, then it's a bit less weird. Sure - there is an age difference, but not sure how much maturity difference there is. And most 26yo men aren't yet looking to settle down just yet. So - while there is a bit of difference in life stages - it's not as much as if the sexes are reversed.

I am sure I'll be called sexist here -but so be it.

When I was 19 I found all males my age and a couple of years older far too immature for me.

You are a bit, because you're massively generalising. My DH was a mature, sensible 16 year old, I was young for my age till my mid twenties

The couple that I know with a 15 year age gap, he has always been the grown up mature one despite being the physically younger partner.

Women and girls just have stricter behavioural standards thrust upon them.

can anyone explain the cougar women ? why does society accept cougar women too ?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-of-sex/202303/older-women-who-date-younger-men-are-more-satisfied

Why is it ludicrous? Women/girls mature earlier than men/boys. A 19 yr old woman can be at a similar stage to a 26 yr old man. Whereas often, the other way round, a 19yr old man is a worls apart from a 26 year old woman. This is of course a huge generalisation!

Seriously, mind your own business. You’re worrying about something you can’t control. Pointless.

I'm assuming the 26 yo is your sibling given how much you dislike the 19 year old? Do you generally think they exhibit predatory behavior?
You know it's perfectly possible to share a taste in movies, books, the world, with someone who's more than 3 years different in age to you? DH met a decade alter at the same ages, I imagine 19 year old me and 26 year old him still would have had stuff in common. He was probably less "world-wise" at that age due to childhoods etc.

Sounds like the 26 to will lose interest soon anyway

Well 19 year olds are typically not long out of education or still in it, living at home and don't have a fully developed brain. 26 year olds are generally in work, possibly living aline or at home with more autonomy and have a fully developed brain.

Ironically, the phrase "grow up" comes to mind.

Are you the poster who wants (current age/2)+7 enshrined in law?

I was 20 when I met my 25 yr old partner 46 yrs ago. 1of my children is married to someone 8 yrs older - they’re a great match.

The only thing weird is that you think it’s weird.

Weary? Did you mean wary?

Seems normal to me.
I've been thinking about my friendship and acquaintance groups, especially with both sons friend's and their girlfriends and it's within normal age ranges.

It’s definitely not “perfectly normal” and what prompted me to make this thread was a TikTok and the comments saying anything more than a 3 year age gap is predator territory* what utter bullshit!

Yes exactly, a huge generalisation! Also rls are pressured and judged on their behaviour far more than boys - if boys had the same pressure and expectations, they too would be more mature at 19.

It depends on the individuals. I know 19 year olds who have been working for 3 years and have mid 20s work colleagues. I don't think it would be strange if dating occured.

Seems fine to me - both adults capable giving consent - why the problem 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s icky

My almost 18 yo dd has told me Belle Hassan from love island last year is dating a 19yo. And she’s plastering him all over the internet apparently, comparing him to the partner she won a runner place with from the show. He’s so much better bla bla bla. She showed me a picture of him. He very clearly still has quite boyish looks. I’m sorry, but how can you have a meaningful relationship with such an age gap?