To think 26 year old dating 19 year old is weird?

[ChicJoker]

I’ll leave sexes anonymous. I know both parties well, they have been dating for around 2 months. One is my sibling. I feel really really irked by it. It’s weird right?

Honestly I would be a bit cautious at first but it would depend on the people.

Does the older person frequently date 18/19/20 year olds?
What is the 19 year old like? At 19 I had lived alone for 3 years and had supported myself financially the whole time.
Is there anything else that could make the 19 year old venerable? Do they have family or friends they can talk to?

I think for me at 19 this would have been fine, but I know a few 19 year olds where them dating someone this much older would probably send up some red flags or at least amber flags and I would be inclined to check in on them a bit more.

Thanks. Nice to know I've been married to a disgusting paedo for 30 years. Funny thing is, I remember being 18 and how lads my own age were. It was actually refreshing to be with somebody capable of conversation, with a bit more depth.

A lot of the boys my own age at the time were far more predatory. A distinct lack of interest in anything other than how quickly they could get your knickers off. I wanted someone who didn't think with their dick. The 'lad culture' was alive and well back then and many of the 18 year old boys hadn't got past the 'shag and brag' stage.

I met my future husband in an environment of mutual interest. It was a friendship that grew into something more. We had the same interests in music, political leanings, etc. I had a lot more in common with him than I had with most of the laddish twats of my age.

I don't see an issue with it but until I met my DH I went out with older men. My first proper boyfriend only lasted 5 months but that's because he lied about his age (I was 17; and he said he was 26 turned out he was 35). My two boyfriends after that were 20!years older than me but never had any issues in those relationships.
It's legal and nothing to do with you or anyone else. You can choose if you want to be with someone the same age as you, others are entitled to choose differently.

And I want to be absolutely clear that im not saying every man has a conscious motive to exploit a younger woman, but I am saying that the society we live in has an impact here and to pretend we make these choices in a vacuum and that grooming and power imbalances and teenagers thinking they are much more mature than they actually are dont exist is naive.

When my old school friend was 19 she started dating a 56 year old. Her mum understandably was furious and stopped speaking to her for years. I thought this was hugely unfair at the time and agreed with her but now looking back just think, why the fuck was a 56 year old interested in a 19 year old? Bearing in mind he also had children older than her… Well they’re still together now 14 years on, married with young children. He’s obviously 70 now and she’s 33 but they seem happy enough so who am I to judge.

Dh and I have the same age gap. Met him when I was 22 and he was 29. Together 20 years. I get that 19 sounds young but in less than a year it’ll be 20/27 which is fine.

Anyone ever told you that youre very judgey?

Nah, not really. They're both adults.

Americans apparently find this sort of thing super weird and get really het up about it.
I was once told on a Facebook group by a bunch of Americans that the "age gap" between me and my husband was weird, creepy etc etc.
We were 19 and 21. I didn't even know we had an "age gap" 🤣🤣🤣

It´s been doing the rounds of the internet for a very long time now. According to this a 33 year old is the youngest I could aspire to. Can´t think of anything worse than dating a millennial. Not at same life stage at all.

If I was the parent of the 19yo, I would be keeping an eye on things, but on the whole YABU.

A 7 year age gap is not weird, by the time the 19 yo is 25 the 26 yo will be 32= totally normal.

My husband was 19 when I met him. We was 26. We were both at uni. We’ve been together over 30 years now.

Yes, anyone who thinks TikTok constitutes a reliable source of information needs help.

I was 28 and DH was 39 when we started dating. Been married 36 years. Age gap has never been an issue.

My SIL was 16, nearly 17 when she started going out with my BIL who was 27/8 at the time.

Yes, it raised a few eyebrows. SIL is nearer in age to my DD.

But she was an old 16/7. He was a young 27/8. I worked. Still together, 2 children.

True quite a large age gap - but not unheard of.

😂well, good job they didn´t hear about my parents´ 11 year gap. Actually they were very well suited.

Not weird at all , they are both young. If one is a serial philanderer that is a problem, but would be at any age.

I was 19 when I met my first proper boyfriend. He was 26. I can say with confidence I was ten times more mature than he was 😆😆

My parents had an 17 year age gap lol. I didn't mention that to them.
They weren't well suited at all TBF and divorced horribly after 10 years

I also don't think its that odd. When I was 19 or 20 at uni I was dating a 24 or 25 year old who had a job and a flat. I was 22 when I met 30 year old now DH, and 23 or 24 when we started dating.

TikTok? There's all kinds if nonsense on there. I f you personally think it won't work out then fair enough.

A blanket 3 years? So a 15 year old would be fine with a 12 year old, but a 25 year old shouldn't go near a 21 year old? That's silly.

The widely-accepted guideline for age gaps is to halve the elder partner's age and add seven. So this couple are only just outside of that.

It really depends upon the individuals though.

Why is it weird, if they were 30 and 37 would you feel the same,

So are all "age gap" relationships weird OP or is there an age when you think it becomes acceptable. What if one was 36 and the other was 28?

You are obviously related to the 19 year old and have known them as a child. It's difficult for you to see them as an adult, particularly as an attractive adult. Another adult, meeting them for the first time, has got a very different impression.