AIBU to expect DH to ask before moving laundry on the bed?

[pontipinemum]

I sometimes use our bed to fold laundry and sort it into piles — clothes for our two sons, me, DH’s.

Most of the time I put everything away, but occasionally I get distracted by the kids or something else and the piles are still on the bed later.

DH often goes to bed 20–30 minutes before me. When he finds clothes on the bed, he doesn’t throw them on the floor, but he does move the piles into one pile/corner so he can get into bed. This means I then have to sort everything out again, which drives me mad.

I’ve asked him to just come and tell me the clothes are still on the bed so I can move them properly. But I also know I’m the one who left them there in the first place.

I have asked him to come get me. But he didn't again last night.

AIBU to want him to ask me to help him move the clothes so that I don't need to sort them out again?

YABU - Bed should be cleared anyway, so DH is fine to clear it into a corner
YANBU - DH should ask you to move the clothes.

YABU purely because you’re doing all the laundry! Does your DH have no arms? Why on earth can he not put the laundry away?

No but in this case you also shouldn’t wreck what he has done if you’re not finishing it. The Op said she has asked him to call her to finish it & he didn’t do that either - poor form from him.

So what? We all use the car in my house but I’d still be annoyed if my husband decided to strip the engine and leave the parts all over the kitchen floor until he got round to finishing the job.

Next you will be suggesting the husband is unreasonable for wanting to sleep in the bed before the OP can be arsed to put the clothes away!

Laundry and car parts are obviously quite different though- one is unusual, one isn't.

I think he's lazy for not just putting them away himself.

I think in the interests of happiness, it helps to have a few rules. Not many. Just a few. Talk when you're both calm and relaxed and agree a rule about it. It doesn't have to be a big deal.

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos another night garden fan I see. I finish the bin because I understand that he just forgot. To be fair he does pretty much all the outside work and I wouldn't finish that. He would be nice if he would just finish that laundry.

@Katrinawaves I think taking apart the car and leaving some clothes out are fairly different things. Depending on the time of day the sitting room/ kitchen are not good places to sort clothes with 2 young children.

She probably doesn't know where the pig swill goes either.

people have different responsibilities & preferences. I doubt he'd be able to figure out why her blue shirt goes here, but her red t shirt goes there.

I guess my standards are higher.

Why can't he put them away himself?

We don't have pigs 😉but I get your meaning. To be fair to me, DH is only in his early 40s but I have heard stories of farmers suddenly not being able to work (accidents/ heart attacks etc) and wives not having a clue where to start.

I do have a reasonable idea of what I would need to do. For my own sanity and peace of mind and hope that day doesn't come.

He is going to bed when there is work still to be done. What a lazy arse.

He should put his own bloody clothes away, as should the kids if they are old enough.

Well you don’t actually know she’s downstairs working to be fair. She could have been slobbed out on the sofa binge watching a box set for hours and still there.

I think it’s unreasonable to start a task and wander off half way through and then call someone else lazy because they don’t finish it for you. It drives me insane when my husband half does things and I have to pick up the slack. I’d rather do the whole thing myself in my own way than have to salvage something half done. Folding the clothes and putting them away takes 5 minutes at most if it’s a single load so the OP is being massively unreasonable not just doing it properly even if she does get interrupted for a few minutes half way through by a child.