AIBU to expect DH to ask before moving laundry on the bed?

[pontipinemum]

I sometimes use our bed to fold laundry and sort it into piles — clothes for our two sons, me, DH’s.

Most of the time I put everything away, but occasionally I get distracted by the kids or something else and the piles are still on the bed later.

DH often goes to bed 20–30 minutes before me. When he finds clothes on the bed, he doesn’t throw them on the floor, but he does move the piles into one pile/corner so he can get into bed. This means I then have to sort everything out again, which drives me mad.

I’ve asked him to just come and tell me the clothes are still on the bed so I can move them properly. But I also know I’m the one who left them there in the first place.

I have asked him to come get me. But he didn't again last night.

AIBU to want him to ask me to help him move the clothes so that I don't need to sort them out again?

YABU - Bed should be cleared anyway, so DH is fine to clear it into a corner
YANBU - DH should ask you to move the clothes.

I sort mine, dhs and DS clothes I go a pile each. Dhs go down his side of the bed for him to put away. Ds go in his room for him to put away and I put mine away.

It was Op that didn’t finish the job she started doing. Not sure why she needs to find his choice of videos ‘sexy’. People are allowed unsexy downtime in marriage 🙄

When I go to bed I want to go to bed. Not finish re-sorting washing and putting it away or going downstairs to have a conversation about it.

If I want to go to bed and there are items on the bed I will pick them up and put them somewhere, so I am with DH.

I don't really understand why sorting washing take more than 5 minutes, or putting the items in a pile means they are mixed up, but if OP finds she is distracted from this task so frequently that she needs to post on Mumsnet about it, then maybe she could sort into individual baskets, so the baskets just need to be moved and it's easier to resume the job later.

Agree. Had an ex who was always leaving half finished jobs around the house.

Oh, I'll empty the dishwasher later, put the load of washing in later, leave the bins by the door etc.

Early in the relationship, I'd finish up, but soon realised I was always doing his share on top of mine.

It's not great having to always go and get you as it can come across as nagging.

Surely you'd know you hadn't finished the job OP, seems to be a regular occurrence.

I don't think this is a comment on finding tractor videos unsexy, more that being married to a grown man who is incapable of putting clothes away is unsexy.

But he's a man, so whatever he does is wrong to some.

That would drive me nuts too. It's the height of laziness.

Firstly though, I'd stop putting away his clothes at all. He can at least learn to do that much.

We used to do this and it was a pain, so now each kid has their own laundry basket in their room and then one for me and DH and zero sorting required. Has been life-changing.

Agree with that 100% . Life is so short to sweat this kind of thing,

Another useless man on Mumsnet. Why the fuck can’t he put them away?

I’d rather no one interfered in the washing routine. I’m good at it. They’re not.

Apparently, and risk waking your sleeping kids in the process.

Individual, stackable baskets (different colours) are really useful.
Put the clothes traight from the line/ airer/ dryer into the correct basket, which you then take up to the correct room. If you don't have time to put away immediately it can stay on the floor in the room till later.
They don't have to be large baskets.

YABU.. first world problem

Yes but rather than put the piles away in the drawers, he dumps them somewhere else for her to finish sorting.

@pontipinemum If they're already sorted then surely the next step is to just dump them in bedroom doorways?? That's the quick bit!

If my DH came down to tell me there was laundry on the bed then I'd ignore him.

I make the kids sort the laundry.

Scraping …

Actually I think you could end up in the Scrape Of The Day play-offs with that one. And not yet midday

It was her who didn’t manage to finish putting the clothes away, again.

Because she was distracted by the needs of his small children, or a similar task.

Okay. I was just correcting your misunderstanding that 'unsexy' referred to the tractor videos.

Because she gets distracted, yes. And then doesn’t come back to it. And yet he’s ‘unsexy’ and a child for not finishing off the job for her, that he didn’t know about until he was getting into bed. Surely they are both unsexy children by this logic.

It was referring to the tractor videos, in addition to the laundry, so no correction needed.

Does his penis get in the way of putting them away?

If DC asleep he could put their piles by their room. I assume he at least puts his away rather than just adding it to the pile.

Yes, and considering she's distracted so often that it's causing a problem, she needs to start remembering to check she's finished the job.

Honestly, if you know you're prone to this, why wouldn't you check?

Yes and the tractor videos being sexy or not sexy wasn't the point at all.

Anyway you're clearly a misogynist so I won't waste my time.