To want to start the day with a tidy house???

[GahGahGahGah]

DP and I have a two year old who hates bedtimes. I do about 90% of them. It usually lasts from 7pm to 9pm. DP uses that time to go on his phone and watch films. He gets up at 6am and leaves at 7am, which is when we get up.

It means I either have to tidy up after 9pm, when I would like to relax too, or more commonly first thing in the morning, when I am getting ready for work and getting DC ready for nursery.

AIBU to be pissed off about this, daily??

Exactly. My DH always gets his relaxing in, whether that’s watching TV at night, staying in bed at the weekend. Or sitting in his phone while DS watches cartoons. I never sit down…

100 percent agree with everything you said
it's also more hygenic and cheaper to use a dishwasher then wash by hand. dishwashers are the quickest way to tidy the the kitchen load it all in switch on and then unload when finished. mine is postioned directly beside where plates cups etc are stored so literally grabbing and move next door
also it should be a tag team one parent does bath time and one tidies up swapping each day so not one person is left soley to do same thing
op you need to nip this in the bud now or else resentment seeps in big time though say its all ready creeping in

Not everyone’s job is the same though. In between my meetings I’m working.

No i said repeatedly that the whole house needs a new ethos. Dishwashers often do not wash plates properly and you have to prerinse or presoak everything. That is why the bestselling gimmick of a dishwasher detergent is that you do not have to do that (unless you read the small print and then it says you might have to wash it more than once).

When people ask me how ive kept on top of things with a bunch of kids and a husband who was often working long hours, it woukd literally be because I keep to the ethos I am speaking of here. That's how I managed to have relaxing evenings alone and we had them together. We all kept to this ethos and raised our kids to see it as a norm.

I don’t tidy after 7/8pm.
I literally just don’t have the energy if I have to be up at 5am.
I also need to wind down before bedtime.

But I will do as much as I can before that time (usually whilst dinner is cooking) and then the dirty dishes are usually put in the sink and I’ll do them the next day.

Ask him to choose between putting DS to bed or spending 20mins doing the dishes and putting the toys away.
He can’t do neither.

will you stop please about the dishwashers
you do not pre rise or pre soak anything eveything is stacked it. you scrap not rinse before goes in. dishwashers have sensors to detect how dirty dishes are and by pre rising you are basically lying to the dishwasher therfore it doesn't clean them properly
dishwashers are a brilliant time saving device. more cost effective than hand washing as well as being more environmentally friendly than handwashing

I’ve never pre rinsed or pre soaked anything and my dishes always come out of the dishwasher clean.

Have you used a modern dishwasher?
They don’t regularly leave plates dirty nor do you have to soak anything.
In what world is a dishwasher tablet any more of a gimmick than dish soap??
You have some very peculiar and narrow views.

There you have it OP, your life would be immensely easier if you just hand washed all your dishes after cooking dinner. And while you’re at it, make sure you leave your 2 year olds plate, that little free loader needs to do it himself.

Ive never unstable a dishwasher in anyone's house and not had to reclean some of the items.

The other thing is that people say they are more sanitary because they kill more germs. That is the case during the cycle, but as soon as it cools, anything that is inside the dishwasher in terms of food debris becomes a source of bacteria. You are also not putting these plates into a sterile environment in your cupboard.

If I had the OP's issues, I'd try this new ethos in the house and see if everyone cleaning more as they go works better than what they're doing now.

Yeah that's not ok, he's effectively taking 2 hours of extra leisure time and you're picking up at least an hour of domestic labour - not a fair swap. I'd just say "I'm off to do bedtime, please can you tidy the kitchen so we can relax afterwards". I'm personally not a fan of leaving downstairs overnight anyway, nothing annoys me more than a messy kitchen at 7am - just say this to him, use it as a chance to redistribute some load.
I'd work out why bedtime is quite so long though, why do you need to stay until she's asleep? Do the routine, tuck in and then leave in her cot (unless she is crying/distressed and then you can both take it in turns to settle her and get her back into bed).

Yes. All the time. They stink within a week of cleaning them and you have to rewash a lot of the stuff that comes out. Especially if it has been in the oven.

They stink?

No, if they handwashed everything as they went. Including during cooking. Soon as you finish needing that pan, wash it up. Waiting for something to boil? Wash up anything dirty. Those simple rules along with doing anything that takes under 2 mins immediately really help.

This is abnormal.

Yes. If you have never had a dishwasher, you can often smell this very distinctive dishwasher smell as soon as the door is open. People with dishwashers only start to smell it when it is quite bad and sewage-like.

It's a wet box where you put old food and leave it closed most of the day. Of course it will smell.

You should write a handy hints book.

The smell is in every home I've ever been in with a dishwasher. Having a cupboard door over the appliance masks it when the door is closed.

Does your DP see nothing wrong with this? That you've been at work, then done 2 hours of bed time and then another hour tidying up?
And he does?????
I would be so angry.

What are you on about?! 😂

you are just talking sh&&÷/ now 🙄🤣
nearly every single house in the world has dishwashers as well as hospitals restaurants - every food premises in the world uses them
you do not need to re wash dishes do not stink there is no bacteria 🙈
food should be scrapped off anyway
anyway I am sure the op will take your advice to wash every dish now to ensure her husband helps out

I guess we all have different norms and standards.

I mean when everything points to you being the problem, it probably is you.

Why a dishwasher will obviously smell. If you mix damp with food debris in an enclosed but not airtight space, it will smell. Obviously. You may get used to the smell and not notice it like a smoker, but it does.

OP says "when I am getting ready for work and getting DC ready for nursery."

Where are you reading comprehension skills?