AIBU to find a girl's comment about social media quite sad

[FelicityShagsWell]

I just heard the story on the radio about Kier Starmer wanting to tighten up access to social media for under 16s. A few sound bites from some children followed. One girl said it's unfair because there's nothing else to do. Am I unreasonable to find that utterly sad?

I imagine kids will loiter a bit more, the chats on the footpath after school or near bus stops were a big part of my socialising as a teen. We were probably half blocking the path and possibly annoying neighbours but it was harmless banter, having a laugh or sometimes a bit of a flirt. I hope people are open minded to this and don't see this as a new negative phenomenon.

Also they can still phone each other, it used to be normal for teens to chat for hours or make multiple phone calls. It doesn't have to be socially isolating.

So now you’re suggesting that I have a lack of critical thinking because I disagree with you? You were unnecessarily harsh. You should be able to make a point without saying that a poster let herself down when she was a child.

Some people grow up in stable, loving environments where the things you describe are realistic and achievable.

But not every child has that experience. Some grow up in difficult or chaotic households where there isn’t always enough food, where parents may be dealing with serious mental health problems, addiction, poverty, or other struggles, or where they are emotionally or physically absent. Some children may be facing their own challenges, whether that’s illness, disability, trauma, or difficulties with their mental health.

Neither of us know whether that applies to the pp, but I would suggest that a lack of consideration of those facts is what actually shows a lack of critical thinking skills.

I've already heard some under 16s laughing about this as they're savvy enough to use a VPN.

Just like some under 18s figure out how to get alcohol bought for them. Doesn’t mean the ban isn’t worthwhile.

I’m suggesting people who cannot think of anything to do that is free and requires no resources are lacking creativity somewhat. Critical thinking was the wrong term, I admit. But the brain is an amazing thing and humans have entertained themselves in poverty without screens for millennia.

In saying she let herself down, she’s not a child now… I said that to her as an adult who is saying she was bored and had nothing to do and so would children now because that was her experience. She is the one who says she had a shit time because she didn’t think of doing other things.

Oh I completely agree...they have to start somewhere. I'm just saying that the majority will still find a way

There are ways for SM companies to detect VPN use if they want to implement that.

Anyway I have worked with the parents of children who were so badly bullied on social media that they threw themselves in front of trains.

Those parents would rather their kid was bored.

I agree. They are thinking about it from their own point of view. But then they'll realise that with everyone in the same boat, there will be more opportunities to socialise irl.

Where did I say I had a shit time, exactly?

I did all the free things you talk about in your posts but there was still a lot of time where I was sitting around doing very little, and yes, I was bored. My parents were at work all day and I didn't have unlimited access to money or public transport to get myself around.

With one exception, my friends didn't live within walking distance so I spent a lot of time on my own. I'm not sure my experience is particularly unique either

Unless I’m wrong it’s not a phone ban. But a social media ban?

so they can still research and use apps for safety etc.

I agree with the girl mentioned. Unless you're in a big city, there's often very little "to do" in the smaller towns and rural areas. Made worse by there being no "communities" anymore with families broken up and spread around the country and of course "broken families" where children seem to be absent from their "home" at weekends and don't have a community where their "weekend parent" lives. Also, the way that kids are split and spread over many different schools means often they don't have school friends close to where they live. My son's primary school leavers class were split over around 7 secondary schools and no one from our village went to the same secondary school as DS. Uni leavers often never return home to "live" due to having to move away for jobs, so their children aren't "local" enough to hang out with cousins etc. Also, very little in the way of youth clubs, junior discos, etc nor clubs/societies for youngsters.

If we want kids off social media, we need to think about modern fragmented society.

When I was young we just "played out" with whoever was playing on our street - we all went to the same primary school, then we all went to the same secondary school, our cousins lived nearby, as did Aunts/Uncles, etc. There was a real community and lots of things to do, i.e. scouts/brownies every week, junior disco in our church hall every month, always a football match on the junior school field where everyone joined in, etc. Nowadays, the scouts have closed down, no junior discos in the church hall (in fact the only church hall events are for old people!), and the school field is fenced in and you can't get in to play on it!!

i wonder how this will be monitored and policed? There are plenty of parents who don’t care. So will happily lets their kids continue.

I was suicidal as a teenager due to serious "in person" bullying at our secondary school. Bullies will always find a way to bully!

Yup, and at our secondary school in the 70s, hard porn magazines were commonplace being passed around the pupils, and the toilets were all "no go" areas in breaks and lunchtime due to smokers! Older siblings often "pass on" things to their younger siblings and then they get passed around the school.

Ah ok then let’s just leave it be then so the bullies have more ways of reaching kids and they can then join online communities that encourage poor mental health and suicide. You’re right, bullies will get to them anyway so forget the ban let’s not do anything to try and help!

And when I went to school in the 00s there was never any smoking in toilets because eventually age restrictions and rules filter down and work.

Without knowing her home life, you've no basis to label her a 'silly girl'. Not all parents buy their children toys, some are strict/can't stand mess. There's many areas thread on here were the man won't allow anything out or the children to play.
I've been talking about children's activities a lot because of all the 'we are a Christian country '. Many Churches do their best with various clubs/choir/giving room to brownies etc, but parents don't put in the effort. Having said that, at my GC age I would have been walking with a group of other children to activities. Now it would be seen as poor parenting to allow that freedom.

I have been wondering about what a lot of the teenagers will do instead.

When I was in my teens (around 15 years ago), my friends and I would just walk around the streets and around ASDA. Occasionally, we’d just sit in McDonalds.

There was honestly nothing else for us to do e.g. no local youth club. To my knowledge there’s still nothing for teens to do in that particular area.

Any teenager will find a way around it, like they seem to be in Australia so far. Big tech are just waiting for it to fail. Now me aged 51 finds it hard to log into a portal I've used before even though I have a note of the password on paper. 🤣

They'll be whittling stuff out of wood, knitting, writing poetry, and volunteering. Apparently 🤣

My DD14 cooks loads from TikTok. She could use a recipe book as I have a shelf full but if I'm honest I use BBC Good Food if I need a recipe these days.

Yes. There was a big Speech and Language push around our neck of the woods about phone free school pick ups a while ago. It is a very real problem.

Apologies, I posted before reading the entire thread. I was stunned when I heard this!

Still not sure what to say about something this dumb. I’m glad I’m not the girl’s parents, I’d be dropping work and taking this stupid child somewhere educational!

Well she was at an independent school so not as though the parents lacked money. I’m sure she can find something more interesting than “staring at a blank wall “. Did you see it!? She was being stoppy and teenaged.