AIBU to find a girl's comment about social media quite sad

[FelicityShagsWell]

I just heard the story on the radio about Kier Starmer wanting to tighten up access to social media for under 16s. A few sound bites from some children followed. One girl said it's unfair because there's nothing else to do. Am I unreasonable to find that utterly sad?

Yes, there may be a very small number of teens who are on social media because they have literally nothing else to do.

Sure, I just don't think that's going to happen in the numbers people seem to imagine it will, that's all.

A frustrating aspect of this, is that most responsible parents do already restrict their DC’s access to tech and social media, they are the ones welcoming this ban. But it won’t change anything for them because they’re already doing it.

It’s the children of feckless parents who have unrestricted access to tech and social media. They will most certainly allow their dc to work around the ban. For example, by signing up to SM themselves but allowing the dc to use the account. My DD said that some children in her school have already said they will be doing this.

Maybe it won’t. My teen doesn’t have social media and that’s the sort of thing she does, but of course all teens are different.
However maybe the things they do replace it with will be less harmful overall than social media 🤷🏻‍♀️. Even if it’s just watching box sets on TV.

She’s not silly, a lot of us would have said that at her age. They haven’t learnt other enjoyable ways to spend time because of the awful peer pressure to have a smartphone.

Then you missed out and you let yourself down. Maybe you weren’t parented in a way that was conducive to creativity and hobbies but many of us were and will do the same for our children.

My mother used to say that only boring people were ever bored and she was right (other than if you’re ill).

Don't fall off your ivory tower will you? 🙄

That’s was an unnecessary harsh way to talk about a child. We have no idea of the pp’s socioeconomic background and her families ability to do other activities

Totally sad, but then haven't all boys and girls over millennia complained about 'having nothing to do'? When I was a girl, the teacher wrote BORED in big capital letters on the blackboard and then went on to explain how no-one had the right to be bored, what a sin it was etc. Got to agree with her. Get off the phone and explore the world out there. Use your imagination

Those are still lone activities though. The attraction of SM and phones is contact with others.
DD has always been very good at doing things, she’s off to do art at uni. Children need more than sitting at home doing things on their own.

I think children of feckless parents will get around it easily. Just use their login etc. The ones that really need to get off their phones and do something else will still have their 2 year olds on phones watching crap and their teens on phones all the time.

This is what I’m saying though… it doesn’t cost money to make up dances, take online quizzes, read a book from the library or school, listen to music, make up songs, write poems or stories. It costs a couple of quid to buy a notebook and pen and write or draw. People acting like kids need access to money to entertain themselves are being ridiculous and show a real lack of critical thinking imo.

They can also go for a walk or take up running or practice yoga or reorganise their rooms or volunteer somewhere.

Some of the comments on here come from a great place of privilege. I grew up in a house that didn’t have books - they were an expense. There was no library in my area. There are children who I teach today who don’t have books. I can very well imagine had SM been around when I was a teen I would have been on it endlessly as it would have provided an escape. There was no money for games or paper to draw on - again, all privileged comments. I just watched shit TV.

Now I’m not advocating for endless SM - I have a 15 year old and 12 year old but they only have WhatsApp and phones are given to me at 8pm - but the idea that a SM ban will change teen behaviour is naive.

I’m very much for the ban, but can we please not pretend that childhood was always idyllic before mobile phones and the internet, because it wasn’t.

However a lot of platforms like tik tok and YouTube are highly addictive and are stealing hours of people’s time where they could be doing things far better for their wellbeing. Reading books, doing puzzles, playing an instrument, arts and crafts, even watching movies and TV shows would be far better than spending hours doom scrolling.

I think that there will be a lot of parents who will get around the rules because they don’t mind and don’t see the harm and it keeps their children quiet.

But there’s money for phone contracts, smart phones and internet?

Those aren’t cheaper than books or paper.

Anyway all of this is a bit moot because even if there are some poor children who are unable to access any resources whatsoever and have no friends and no library and can’t go outside for some reason and the only good entertainment they have is social media…. That still doesn’t mean it’s good for them and they wouldn’t be better off watching shit TV than scrolling constantly taking in unmoderated, unvetted often untrue and dangerous material.

I think and hope the knock on effect will be similar to the smoking ban. I remember being at a house party only months after the ban and everyone went outside to smoke. I had been at many house parties and people always smoked indoors, in some cases there was a room assigned as the smoking room but it was mostly free for all. A law empowered people to self police in other circumstances. Maybe in a few years it will be socially acceptable to ask an adult to turn the volume off when watching videos in public or to tell someone to not cross the road while staring at their phone.

I usually read an lot and I paint watercolours. I’ve definitely spent way more money in the last year on books and paint/paper than. I have on my smartphone contract.

I agree with this ban, but I don’t see why people are pretending that all kid everywhere have access to better alternatives on a lot of cases they really don’t, especially when kids aren’t allowed to just hang out in lots of places anymore.

100% agree.

The internet is essential for households these days though.

And phone contracts can cost as little as a few pounds a month.

Having a smartphone and the Internet are essential these days as literally everything is done online.

That’s watercolours. Not normal paper and normal pencils. They don’t cost more than a smartphone and internet.

They’re not banning phones though? Teens will still be able to message their friends/phone them/FaceTime them. None of that is being banned. How does Tik Tok/YouTube etc mean that they’re being more sociable than they could be by FaceTiming someone?

But people are saying these children’s parents won’t even buy them basic supplies like paper, pens books. So why would they ensure they had a phone and contract even if it’s necessary for most modern life? Either their parents give a shit or they don’t.

I buy pencils and paper too obviously and they do cost more than a cheap phone contract if you’re using them regularly. They really do, and of course, if you buy the cheapest possible pencils and paper, it’s not much fun because you don’t get good results and the pencils need to be replaced even more often because they’re not great.

I do agree with you these though.

I grew up poor I was lucky that I had friends to play outside with, but I also visited the library every week and read for hours, I watched crap TV for hours when I was bored or on rainy days but imo it was better than the doom scrolling. Better in terms of mental health and for concentration, wellbeing.