To expect a snack when visiting someone's home for a few hours?

[Playdoughy]

Context matters clearly, so I will give some background.
We've been invited to friends' place who live outside of London (90mins car ride) and we agreed to come by over the weekend for a few hours in the early afternoon. The invite was not for an overnight stay but more of a housewarming situation - as in come and see how the place looks like (not for a group of people but just us visiting). They have been living in the flat for 5 months now, I am pregnant so couldn't take a trip during first semester due to sickness - now more up for it.
Anyway we had an early light lunch (luckily) and took off today to arrive after almost a 2 hour drive due to traffic. We had a lovely time chatting and stayed for around 2 hours (I literally had to leave and gave signal to my husband as I was starving to the point of being nauseous).
We got offered a tea upon arrival (drink, not a meal - to avoid any confusion) so I had a cup of tea -no biscuits involved.
I have to admit that on my way to the loo I literally stole a couple of crackers from an open bag sitting on a sideboard near the kitchen and I ate that in the bathroom (yeah...).
After we said goodbyes and went into the car my husband started googling for any nearby pub to have dinner - I advocated against in case they go out later, it would be super awkward if we stumbled upon them. So we grabbed some snacks in an off licence for the car and were on our way.
I mean surely as a host you have some concept of your guests travelling to see you and need to travel back - for us this would be almost 6 hours without a meal and I am pregnant.
I just don't get it. Even a box of digestives would have helped.
Maybe it's a cultural difference thingy, she is american he is scandinavian. Anyway aibu?

It would depend on the time of the visit for me, if they arrived shortly after lunch i would assume they had had lunch, and would be fine with just tea/coffee for 2 hours, if they were here over lunchtime i would have definitely offered lunch/cakes etc.
There is also the issue of maybe they didn’t offer so not to prolong the visit too long? I had a visitor (family member) one day and they were here over lunchtime so I obviously offered lunch and now they visit every week for 5-6hours each time (over lunchtime) its exhausting and kind of wish i never offered the first time 😂.

How rude. Nobody ever leaves my house hungry, i don't care who you are or how long you are staying food and drink are offered the minute you walk through the door. Even the binmen get hot or cold drinks and a box of treats left for them and they don't even come into my garden never mind my house.

This. It wouldn’t occur to me to offer food to someone here for only two hours. If you were hungry, why not ask for something to eat?

When I was pregnant I needed a lot of snacks. My Bag constantly had salted crackers, almond bars and water in it for emergencies!

Theres this wierd thing that some people do
" You MUST visit, sooooo looking forward to seeing you"
You visit and they treat you like you gate crashed them
Sounds like they didnt really want you there tbh @Playdoughy
1 hour with an empty cup ?
At he very least I would offer tea, coffee, water/ sparkling, home made / nice cake or scones

I think they expected a 15 minute tour and then off you went

Do you do this for the binmen every week?

So what time were you there from/til? I think you’re overthinking this

What?
Every week?

Our binmen come when Im still in bed , they are gone in 30 seconds

I think this is where we are all different.

A biscuit or some crisps yes, no way would I crack out sparkling water and scones for a couple of friends visiting for 2 hours.

You'd have got one of my crap cakes 🎂 😉

In all seriousness someone travelling fairly far to see me, pregnant or not would've been offered cake,baked goods and some nuts/crisps etc. Not a full meal but, if I noticed someone was hungry I would always check they didn't need something more. A housewarming is one of those situations where people expect something.

Same here, I don't think I'd recognise them, they arrive, load the bins, leave them randomly then they're off!

If someone was travelling to see me I’d have biscuits or cake available. Or I’d have said, come for tea and cake. That’s weird of your friends.

Yes, she said they were given tea and biscuits, but we don't know how many biscuits!

I remember my aunt and uncle came to visit me unexpectedly when I was living in my 1st flat I was only 19 . I was extremely poor , they brought nothing with them then phoned my mum to bitch that they never even got offered a cup of tea! I was so poor I only ate once a week and cycled miles a day as couldn’t afford the bus , I didn’t even have teabags or milk . I know it’s totally different situation , but I always as I have some money take the host something

It’s incredibly rude. If you were travelling that distance yoh should have been offered a meal. At the very least some nice biscuits or cake.

Haha they would run from the wierd lady if I offered snacks
They are dirty, wearing gloves and touching bins
Why would they want to eat/drink ?
Plus the lorry would just have driven off!

Why would you offer someone a meal at non-meal times?

It isn't just coming over for a chat and a cuppa (although I put biscuits and cakes out for anyone who comes over for a chat and a cuppa).

They specifically invited them to see their new home, knowing it meant a round trip of 3-4 hours. It's really rude to not offer guests proper refreshments and food.

If people were travelling that distance id have invited them for lunch or dinner in the first place. I would struggle being friends with such an inhospitable pair.

Rude of them. You should have asked.

They actually sprint down the road, then back again! Maybe I could get a motorised tea trolley to pursue them! 🤣

This reminds me of an event once in our family.

There was a barbecue arranged for my FIL’s family to meet his new girlfriend, hosted by the girlfriend. He had made a big deal about her wonderful hosting.

We travelled 2 hours to get there, but his family (2 sisters + brother + spouses + one adult son) had travelled 5 hours, and had all paid for accommodation.

She had purchased long sausages, and the food was budgeted at half a sausage in a finger roll per person and a plain finger roll for the vegetarians. No other food provided.

There was no food provided for my 2 year old as the GF “didn’t think the baby needed to eat”. My husband spotted a fruit bowl and asked if she could at least have an apple, to which the answer was “not really”, so she had my half sausage.

It was hugely embarrassing. We would visit the relatives in their area each year and they truly were hospitable.

We ended up taking them all to the pub on the pretext of taking everyone for a nice walk to the beach.

It was a completely bizarre situation. This wasn’t due to money issues. It was purely that she felt that that was an appropriate amount of food to organise - half a long sausage per meat eater, one finger roll per adult, nothing for a toddler, with no extras. I wondered about disordered eating, but we had taken them out for a meal a couple of times before that barbecue and she seemed to have a normal appetite. She also witnessed that my toddler did indeed eat food on those occasions.

I think the issue here is that you’re pregnant. I remember not being able to let myself get to the point of being hungry or I’d feel sick. I had my child 10 years ago and I still suffer from that now unfortunately. So in that case, you should have taken some snacks with you.

And also, you should have just gone to a pub for dinner - who cares if they saw you. They didn’t feed you, so wouldn’t be offended.

I don’t understand why you couldn’t find a pub to eat in, what would be wrong with having a meal before heading back home? Perfectly normal thing to do.

I agree it’s weird not to feed guests especially pregnant ones. But there are literally memes about this being a cultural thing.