To expect a snack when visiting someone's home for a few hours?

[Playdoughy]

Context matters clearly, so I will give some background.
We've been invited to friends' place who live outside of London (90mins car ride) and we agreed to come by over the weekend for a few hours in the early afternoon. The invite was not for an overnight stay but more of a housewarming situation - as in come and see how the place looks like (not for a group of people but just us visiting). They have been living in the flat for 5 months now, I am pregnant so couldn't take a trip during first semester due to sickness - now more up for it.
Anyway we had an early light lunch (luckily) and took off today to arrive after almost a 2 hour drive due to traffic. We had a lovely time chatting and stayed for around 2 hours (I literally had to leave and gave signal to my husband as I was starving to the point of being nauseous).
We got offered a tea upon arrival (drink, not a meal - to avoid any confusion) so I had a cup of tea -no biscuits involved.
I have to admit that on my way to the loo I literally stole a couple of crackers from an open bag sitting on a sideboard near the kitchen and I ate that in the bathroom (yeah...).
After we said goodbyes and went into the car my husband started googling for any nearby pub to have dinner - I advocated against in case they go out later, it would be super awkward if we stumbled upon them. So we grabbed some snacks in an off licence for the car and were on our way.
I mean surely as a host you have some concept of your guests travelling to see you and need to travel back - for us this would be almost 6 hours without a meal and I am pregnant.
I just don't get it. Even a box of digestives would have helped.
Maybe it's a cultural difference thingy, she is american he is scandinavian. Anyway aibu?

Why can nobody read all updates of the OP:

she brought wine, chocolates and a little plant

I did, but obviously missed that one reading too fast. Sorry - I am human. I’d like to think most of us are?

No need to embolden and enlarge the text as that is unnecessarily obnoxious - especially as the point remains: so long as OP arrived with gifts then the host was rude.

This particular question has been clarified several times on this thread already. It was time to bring out the bigly letters.

I always say this to guests. I know you're driven a couple hours to see us, and I would offer you something, but we need to move away as a society from the habit of 'grazing' all day.

And I make sure to purse my lips like a cat's butthole and spit the word grazing, so they know I mean to right the ills of society by being a shit host.

It sounds like you were there in the hours between lunch and dinner? SO no big deal, I guess they're not big eaters. Just a nice cuppa and chat. They could've had biscuits. Tbh I think YABU for stealing crackers as if you were Oliver.

I mean, you could potentially think about it in advance? You know, like, oh, right, @Playdoughy and her husband are coming over on Sunday afternoon. Maybe I could possibly buy or make something to give them?

😂

I probably wouldn’t have offered anything as it’s kind of after lunch and before dinner. I wouldn’t have expected food either, just drinks. They probably assumed you ate on the way to them?

All this thread has shown is that people have different expectations from hosts, different metabolisms, different pregnancies and different ways of hosting.

In my case I wouldn't have expected food, but I would have expected a drink, I wouldn't have waited until I got home if I was hungry and would have found somewhere local to eat.

As a host I would have invited the OP to lunch given the journey time or at least have done some baking or bought some biscuits to offer if it was just an afternoon visit, and provided drinks of course (drinks plural).

Two hours in the middle of the afternoon? I think offering a drink is fine really. I might have offered a biscuit with the tea.

Take a snack in the car if you need to eat more often.

I would have taken a cake or a gift/treat with me to be fair.

but yes, I’d also have some snacks or cake to offer too.

I wouldn't have provided a meal mid afternoon, but there certainly would have been cake/biscuits on offer.

When friends visit me, even if it’s just for an hour, I always offer a light meal, cake, and drinks. Likewise, when I visit friends, especially for housewarmings, I usually bring dessert and bottle of wine. From experience, I’ve learned that not everyone knows how to be a good host. So if I know I’ll be driving a long distance and might get hungry, I make sure to prepare myself beforehand.

Ah yes the unimaginative option 😁

We are a snack free household - so if someone came over between meal times it wouldn’t occur to me to offer anything other than drinks

They could have done the ‘polite’ thing and offered you some kind of snack such as biscuits, cakes, pastries.

But remember that this constant snacking is why we now face unprecedented levels of obesity, type 2 diabetes and chronic diseases.

Humans for most of our time on this planet lived off 1, maybe 2 meals per day without the need for snacks. And often went long periods with no food.

You seem like you are getting the classic blood sugar rollercoaster from way too many refined carbs and snacks. That used to be me and I was constantly hungry so I can totally relate. But it’s not normal.

This is very much a cultural thing, especially for italians. Our italian friends always offer invite in and a drink at the least.

I do find it odd that you weren't made more of a fuss of. The journey was hardly around the corner.

Me neither and I would also think that if I was supplying the tea/coffee and they wanted biscuits, maybe they would bring the biscuits, but then I'm a person who can't have snacks in the house permanently.

I have just asked my (English) husband what he would do and he would not have offered anything to eat either

I am GOBSMACKED

LTB ?

Just leave an open pack of crackers in the loo instead?

I'm not keeping snacks permanently on the off chance that someone with one of these problems turns up. I may buy some for a specific visit, but don't want them in my home all the time. I also think there's some responsibility on the person experiencing the problem to bring enough snacks.

Ah, a professionally offended person has joined the thread, cherry-picking lines from posts to get in a froth about and ignoring the rest of the post 😆

The OP is pregnant.
And if that wasn't the case, the issue at question is about hosting etiquette.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect a piece of cake or a few biscuits. I always have some biscuits in the cupboard- don’t most people?

I'm pretty sure that post is piss taking.