Would it be odd for cousins to use different grandparent names?

[Readinginthegarden]

My SIL (husbands sister) had her children first and picked the grandparent names for MIL & FIL. Her friend came up with them as a joke but SIL thought it was really funny and went with it.

DH & I think the names are awful especially seeing as it was a random friend who made them up! My in laws haven’t said anything to us about it but do roll their eyes about it all.

Anyway I’m expecting my first baby and DH would much prefer to go down the more traditional route of Granny & Grandpa.

Would it be odd if our child called the grandparents something different to their cousins ? I’ve never come across anyone being called different names and worry it wil be weird as family get togethers.

They may pick up their cousins nabes, I hated the name used for grandma in the area my in-laws live in and said we weren't using it. They were really good and didn't use it around them but they still picked it up.

I am called the same name by all my grandchildren (2 families) because their parents asked me what I wanted to be called. However, my DC and their cousins had different names for my parents. No problems.

We asked them what they wanted to be called. I didn’t see it as my decision.

I can’t say I’d ever thought of it but I don’t think it’s weird at all. The kids can call the grandparents whatever they like, surely? What do you stand to gain/lose if the kids call the grandparents different names?

We asked both sets what they wanted to be called and went with that. I think it's the grandparents decision, just like it's my decision what I am called by my children (until they get fed up and decide themselves what they prefer to call me).

It's absolutely not weird to be called different names by different grandchildren, that is totally fine.

I was asked what I wanted to be called but as the first set of grandchildren couldn’t quite say it, a slightly different version has stuck for them but not their cousins.

We have different names because one branch of the family is norwegian and they use different so SILs kids say ‘mothers father’ whilst BILs say ‘fathers father’ and then one of mine couldn’t say Fs so sort of made up their own thing and then now they’re going through a phase if saying first names so one Grandfather is known by 4 different names. It’s fine. Don’t overthink it 🤣😂

My brother and partner’s sister both had their kids first and we call both sets of grandparents different names to them. Initially there was a bit of kickback from them - in that they made it known they’d assumed we’d be calling them the same, but my view was one set were being called a foreign name for grandparents - neither myself, my parents, my partner or my children are from this country so why would we call them this? The other set, they called MIL a name very similar to what you’d call a mother, so I didn’t want that either.

They accepted it and we’ve always called them something different despite various attempts at referring to them by their other names. I’m no doubt seen as bolshy, but why does getting pregnant first entitle you to call the shots name-wise for something that affects ppl in an equal relationship forever more? Fuck ‘em.

It’s odd that the grandparents didn’t have a say in what they wanted to be called originally.

Our cousins called our grandparents something different from us.

A friend's children called their grandmother Baggy!

Same here for MIL. Nannan by one set, Nanny by the other.

Our DC refer to their DGP as different names to the ones their cousins use.

This made me wow! Don't grandparents get to choose what they prefer to be called and then sometimes the name gets slightly changed by the child? Seems a bit harsh to force Grandma on someone.

I agree. My mum was so excited to be called Nannie and hated granny/grandma as she felt they were older sounding! I totally respected her wishes and she’s Nannie to all her grandkids. Can’t imagine refusing and demanding my kids use a name for her that she really didn’t want

I disliked the woman intensely and so did her son, he decided to go no contact with her when the children were quite young so it wasn't an issue. She's now dead anyway. I never spoke a word to her about the name choice, my husband did that. If people loathe the word Nanny/Nan for grandma then it's not benign is it? How could you talk about grandparents while referring to them by a word you hate? Anyway she wasn't bothered.

My own parents wanted to be grandma and grandpa when they became grandparents and that was absolutely fine. I in turn was known as grandma when I became one and my parents became great grandma and great grandpa.

My DC calls my mum Nana. My sister has two boys - one of them calls my mum granny but the other uses grandma. I really don't think my mum cares what they call her but I appreciate that some people might have stronger feelings about it for all sorts of reasons.

Why can’t your parents decide?