At my wits end with my sister. Shes always been chaotic and our family have always bent over backwards to help her.
3 years ago she text me saying she was pregnant. She had been talking a while about wanting baby but she was only 23, and not in the right head space. She told 3 different men that they might be the dad and for dna tests. I just couldn’t believe it to be honest, and just felt from day one she wouldn’t be able to cope.
It was drama from day 1. The dad stepped up and from birth supported her financially and saw his/their child regularly. Now the baby is 2, and he has her more than 50% of the week. My mum has reinforced to my sister that this is “right” and my nieces day should be stepping up (?) - he’s ALWAYS stepped up from day 1?
My sister hasn’t changed her life since she had her daughter. She still goes out drinking, still does what she wants. She got together with another man when she was 1 month postpartum and devoted most of her time to dating, at the expense of her daughter. She regularly changes her days with her daughter and asks if her dad can look after her. Shes always “working” on the weekends, and on the rare occasion she has her daughter scheduled to see her, she always asks me or our mum to “help” her.
Since Christmas she hasn’t had one weekend with her child. Today she’s text me asking if I can “do her contact days” for 2 weeks in August as she is going to Ibiza with her friends. I’ve asked why she’s leaving her daughter to do this and got a load of vitriol back from her, saying she’s a single mum and deserves a break. She text me back later and said her daughter’s father is having their daughter for 10 days, and then my mum is having her for a day, can I have her for 2 days?
I’m so annoyed. I love my niece but I feel like I’m supporting a lifestyle for my sister which is incompatible with being a mum!
I feel stuck in the middle and judgemental …