I know. Sounds shallow, right? Bit of background. We got together quite late (mid 30s) and cracked on with having 2 kids. They're now 14 and 17. We've always kept our money separate for everything, we earn about the same (£35k each) so tend to split most monthly expenses 50/50. Thing is, I've got a lot more savings than him due to some inheritance I got. It's not a huge amount, and much of it is invested in my pension at the moment. We own our house and cars outright, so have no debts. I've always hated our house - it's ex council, and needs updating. However it's bigger than anything else we could afford, and the location is good. I've already don't the bathroom - I paid for it all (£10k) and put new windows in. I would like the house much more if I could get the kitchen done, and maybe a small extension. Ive been thinking about drawing £30k of my pension lump sum at 55 (in 2 years) to pay for this. OH just thinks it's a waste of time and money though. Every time I bring it up, we row about it. I'm not even asking him to pay towards it, I just want to live in a nicely finished house. It's doing my head in and making me feel really boxed in. We tend not to talk about money and our future at all, although I have tried because I would like to have an idea of where we stand at retirement. He just won't engage though, assumes the worst - that we haven't got any money (I've got about £250k invested at the moment!). I'm seriously considering leaving him although the issue there is that I paid for 80% of the house - him 20% - but he's still entitled to 50% if we split. The resentment is really building 🤬