Bus seat deference to a nun

[Relightmy]

On holiday overseas recently DH gave up his seat on the bus for a nun who got on at a later bus stop.

The nun wasn’t particularly elderly, didn’t look infirm, and DH is very much an atheist from a non-religious family.

When I asked why her given up his seat he had no explanation beyond “Well, she’s a nun”.

AIBU to think this was a curious move by DH?

It’s called respect

Why does a nun deserve more respect?

I think he was polite and chivalrous.He did a good thing .I was completely awe struck when a Nun came to prey for an older lady .when Mum was in her Care home .She then preyed for me and mum and gave us her blessing .

Nuns aren't always the kindest either

No man no kids no pets no drama deacated to work.
I could be a nun but im not a virgin.
Never mind.

I cant see any problem with what your husband did.
Men cant do wrong right on mumsnet.

Emphasis on “some”. I bet if it could be weighed and measured, nuns do and have always done more to help mankind than they ever did in abusing people.

How lovely, a sign of respect for her profession (in both meanings of the word), and it doesn't require anyone to be religiously-minded to give that respect. Good for him.

I would have offered her my seat as well. Call it insurance.

Not in Ireland. It is disgusting what has come to light here.

There is an international excavation team working near me. They are expecting to work for the next three years. Why? They are uncovering the remains of over 800 babies from a septic tank at a convent in Tuam. That's 800 babies discarded over a 35 year period. No birth records, no death records, just thrown away because their mothers weren't married. No idea how so many babies died, because they never existed according to these 'holy' women. And this is just one of dozens of homes run by nuns here and it is far from the only one that has horror stories.

Those children that survived that home were not allowed to talk to or mix with other children, enforced by the nuns that ran the school. Their 'shame' of being born to unmarried women was so great, they couldn't be allowed to contaminate the pure children of the town.

My great-aunt was a nun. I met her many times as a child, she was a lovely woman. In more recent years I learned that she had lived in a Magdalene laundry for 30 years. At a minimum, she must have been complicit in the abuse of hundreds of women and girls. Or was a part of the abuse. It's impossible that she was not aware of what went on.

So no, I do not believe that nuns have done more good than bad. Not when their evil persisted over such a long time and in so many places.

eh?? why? as in, you would've given your seat to any woman in her 60s or because she was a nun?

this thread is so bizarre! if you're an agnostic or atheist, why should you show anymore respect to a nun than any other person? fine to say you'd give your seat up for any woman in their 60s but really really odd to do it because she's a nun!

Maybe he was just being a nice person. No need to read too much into it

I used to look after one in a care home in the UK. It was about 16 years ago though. She had dementia. We were always trying to stop her wandering around without her habit on in the night time, as we knew it wasn't what she would have wanted.
The other nuns from her old convent used to visit her several times a week. It was very clear how much they loved her. There was one who used to come up to me and take my hand and say "please, please look after her" and I would promised I would.
They were all very old though.

Oh and a head teacher at a school for blind kids l used to volunteer at in the early 2000s had a nun as the headteacher, also UK.

I haven't seen one recently though

I think it’s odd - in fact discriminatory, when you think about it - for him to offer his seat to a nun above than any of the other women of a similar age.
YANBU, OP.

Sounds like he was being very kind and respectful and sweet.

Don’t overthink it . Our world needs a little more kindness.

I am in Ireland, and wrote that in full awareness of this matter (and without any forgiveness for any of it.)

I think it was lovely. But then, I think its lovely whenever anyone does something nice for someone. No need to pick it over questioning motives and making a person explain themselves for doing something nice surely? Shouldn't we save that for when they do bad stuff?

Nuns don’t get many perks, I’d say well done him!

It's a bit odd to say 'He's just being chivalrous!' or 'It was good manners'.

The point isn't that he gave up his seat for someone who he believed might need it. The point is that he gave up his seat for someone solely because she was a nun.

Why is it polite to give up a seat for a nun rather than, eg, a doctor or a teacher or a farmer or someone who works in a shop or is a stay-at-home parent, exactly? What's special about nuns? They're just people who have decided to opt out of society to join an ultra-religious order. That's fine, but why does it mean they deserve a bus seat (or respect) more than any other woman of the same age and ability? I find that really weird.

OP, that was a very nice thing for your DH to do. In Thailand, the designated seats for the pregnant and elderly are also for monks.

I remember a time when men gave their seats up for women and it was a lovely gesture.

My mum is working on this.

Let's not forget that it was the whole of society that caused those deaths, not just the nuns. Everyone scapegoated the girls, sent them away. The boys and men, who had also had sex outside marriage and fathered the babies, could carry on their lives unaffected.

Not disagreeing with your point, just adding to it.

I'm yet another atheist who would have given up her seat.

I’ve often seen nuns travel on buses for free in catholic countries

And I do think the nuns on the continent/non European countries/younger than 80 shouldn’t be tarred with the same brush as those who ran the Magdalen laundries!

I think it’s rather nice!

Mind you a part of me does think men should give up their seats for all women until male privilege and the gender pay gap cease to exist! Just as a nod to how much easier their lives are.