Bus seat deference to a nun

[Relightmy]

On holiday overseas recently DH gave up his seat on the bus for a nun who got on at a later bus stop.

The nun wasn’t particularly elderly, didn’t look infirm, and DH is very much an atheist from a non-religious family.

When I asked why her given up his seat he had no explanation beyond “Well, she’s a nun”.

AIBU to think this was a curious move by DH?

Or anyone who encountered them on the labour ward if my dm is to be believed.

Are you sure he didn’t spot a baby on board badge?

I was a non catholic attending a private convent in England. Some of the nuns were lovely some were down right nasty, judgmental and bitchy, and unkind. They’re no better than non nuns simply because they devoted their life to god/Virgin Mary.

Nuns are terrifying, I'd have got off the bus and waited for the next one.

Not serene at least the ones I knew. Some shouldn’t have ever been let near children.

Read Antonia White Frost in May and you’ll be even more traumatised.

I was scared and not scared of them but then I was a Protestant so I was damned anyway 🤣. Plus as they kept telling us “your parents are paying for your education” if we misbehaved (rare). We were all like, yeah we know.

I’m going to ask my stepdad (Irish lapsed Catholic) if he’d do this in Ireland (he hires cars anyway mostly no buses). The answer I’m guessing, could go either way.

We recently used public transport in Poland. Everytime there was a shortage of seats, the men stood and offered to the women. It was refreshing and really lovely.

This is a great thread! I'm also an atheist but can see myself doing the same thing. First reason is that I do this if someone is older than me, but I think the other reason is there's something awe inspiring about someone who dedicates themself to faith like that. Maybe it's growing up in a Christian country, but I'd hope I'd do the same for an Imam or a Buddist monk/nun (if I knew how to discern them i.e. robes a dead give away if no-one else is wearing them)

It's interesting, raised protestant I always have a bit of 'fear of authority' around religious people in the church. But my friend who is RoI catholic would tell me about getting off with the boys in the seminary before they'd made their pledge of celibacy, and she would tell her Priest off if she thought he'd handled something wrong! I guess because Catholic church members are so much more a part of the community, and so many families have boys in the Priesthood, that they are not seen as 'other' as much.

It's one of these threads where a guy can't do right for doing wrong.

He did a polite and respectful thing and OP is finding fault with him. Poor guy.

And no I'm not a man. But in this case I am most definitely on the side of decent behaviour, which is what OP's H exhibited.

The op didn't say she thought it was wrong or that she thought there was any fautto be attributed, just that she found it curious that he would treat a nun differently from any other bus user. And he clearly agreed as he had no explanation for why a nun inspired him to stand over all the other bus users. You can wonder about something without condemning it.

If you’re in a catholic country then I think it’s a polite sign of respect. I remember being in Rome years ago, and realising the safest way to cross a road was to cross with a nun. Cars slow down and won’t crash into them!

I'd guess it was some cultural norm he's somehow absorbed despite lacking any religious belief or particular respect for nuns. I don't think I'd give special deference to nuns over similarly aged women, personally, as a woman. I doubt my husband would, either, honestly. Neither of us are Catholic, but we are Christian.

It used to be that a polite, well-mannered man would offer his seat for any woman, didn't it? Strange and sad that we've come to a place where it's almost considered remarkable behaviour.

Your husband was being a respectful atheist good for him, he has manners.

But she posted in AIBU and even included a poll. That to me means she did think it 'wrong' on at least some level, otherwise why post about it?

I feel sorry for men sometimes. Damned if they do, damned if they dont. Are they not permitted to show good manners and respect anymore?

If I was on a train w DP and a woman in her 60s got on, he would give up his seat for her automatically.

I just asked him what he would do if she was a young nun and he said, "Not if she looked robust."

The fact felt the need to question an act of politeness is a form of criticism.

Good for your husband, lovely manners.

I’m amazed at how many atheists would do the same! I wouldn’t give up a seat just because someone was a nun, no.

Nun of that.

I stopped to let a nun cross the road the other day. She wasn’t old either and I normally only stop for children, the elderly and people with dogs.

Now I’m questioning why I felt the need to stop for her 🤣

They often dress in lay clothes now so harder to spot 😁

You did a good thing if there is a heaven your place is booked 😀

I'm not religious but nuns and others who devote their lives to religious service often do a lot of good and live very simple lives with a lot of work involved - I think it's a nice gesture really.