To be verbally abused by this dog owner

[moana1234]

This is an extremely honest account of what happened to me this evening and I am still shook up over now. Out walking my dog with my 2 sons age 2 and 6 dog is very friendly & likes to play, we pass a dog with his male owner and 3 sons near some outdoor fitness equipment both his and my dog are off lead so my dog goes over to say hello both dogs are excited and run in a circle around the fitness equipment. I turned my head and in that moment it is alleged my dog ran and knocked over the man’s son who is obviously upset. I ask if that was my dog and if so I’m sorry and hope the boy is okay. To which I am given a torrent of abuse, the man shouts at me to get my dog under control and on lead. I said sorry she is very friendly and wouldn’t have meant to it was an accident and his dog was playing too. He continued screaming and shouting at me telling me to train my dog and if I didn’t he would train it for me... I was so took aback I asked if he was joking then when he continued shouting I asked if he would just stop so I could firstly put my dog on a lead (I really didn’t need to as she had come back & has good recall but I didn’t want to provoke anything) and secondly not shout round the children (my 6 yr
old was visibly distressed) I got the dog on the lead and as I was walking away he shouted arsehole. I am ashamed to say I was so stressed and upset I actually soiled myself and can’t stop shaking and crying about this. Was I in the wrong here??

It’s highly unlikely he would have behaved like this if you were a man - there’s your answer - he’s a misogynistic dickhead.

I don’t agree with how aggressive he was, but I’ve experienced this numerous times where dogs will jump up whilst not on a lead and their owner will claim that the dog is ‘friendly’.

What if someone’s afraid of dogs and doesn’t want a strange dog jumping up at them / knocking them over?

I would be annoyed if that was my child to be honest.

That’s horrible. I would have fired him from the job for threatening violence.

I’ve very carefully read the OP she said “both” dogs were “excited” and started chasing each other around in circles.
This is a thing that excited playing dogs do, no jumping up at people, no running towards other kids, 2 dogs chasing each other around in a circle oblivious to others. And when it happens someone can easily be knocked over because in the moment the dogs are only interested in each other and chasing each other. So on that basis the fault lies with both owners because it appears both were happy for the dogs to do it so neither got upset it until a child was knocked over,

So she deserved abuse from man?

Did you already have a dodgy tummy or really need a poo or did it just come seemingly from nowhere??

Did the child deserve abuse “from dog” ?

It’s worrying how little people understand about dogs. A dog chasing another dog round in a circle is not jumping up at other people it’s only interested in that moment is the other dog.
I accept that if the OP and the shouting man should not have allowed it to happen in a busy park/urban area and if they were concerned that their child or AN Other could be knocked over by one dog chasing another.
But assuming it was only the OPs children and the shouting man’s children then both took the risk that 2 dogs madly chasing each other round in circles and in that moment oblivious to everything around then could accidentally knock their children or indeed themselves over.

But she was not with your dog. So it’s irrelevant how poor your dog’s recall is. She said her dog has excellent recall and that’s what is relevant to this thread.

OP also said that it was her dog that initially went over to the other, which wouldn’t have happened if it was on a lead.

We have absolutely no idea how happy the man was that his dog had been approached like this and was now running in circles (though of course his dog should also have been on a lead to avoid situations like this). He could have been very frustrated that it had happened at all even before his son was knocked over.

OP said her dog has good recall (she didn’t say excellent).

She didn’t actually say she called her dog back when he started running in circles with the other. She said she turned her head.
I doubt she called him at that stage as I think from the way she described it she saw it as friendly, playful behaviour.

How I see this is, the guy was with his kids and dog using the equipment. You walked past and your dog charged over to them and engaged his dog. the pair of them barrelling around knocked his kid over.

if your dog had been on a lead / under control this wouldn’t have happened.

he was out of order being so aggressive that is caused you to soil yourself.

I don’t understand this. Op wrote a detailed post and you have come up with a solution based on your observation of friendly dogs in the society. Your post would have been a good one if you were asked to write an essay on friendly dogs and their interactions with public. But here op received a lot of abuse. The man was abusive because normal people don’t react like that.

As I said upthread in my world if your dog and everyone else who I know who owns dogs world the unwritten but widely accepted rule is: if your dog is off its lead it’s happy for other dogs to approach it. It is entirely natural for dogs to approach other dogs when they see them dogs are very social animals and in fact most dogs are happier to be off their leads when other dogs approach. If you don’t want your dog approached by other dogs you keep on a lead. My young bitch was recently in season I kept her on her lead (avoided other dogs) and on the rare occasion I met another dog off their lead the owner on seeing mine was on theirs immediately put the lead on.
There will always be bad dogs owners who don’t give a shit and will do whatever they want but most I know are trying hard to do the right thing by their dog other dogs they meet and Jo Public.

Your dog shouldn’t be approaching other dogs without an invitation from the other dogs owner. You should have called them back at that stage. You shouldn’t wait for someone to tell you to call your dog away.

Your dog then knocked over his child and your response was “theyre friendly and wouldn’t have meant it” instead you should have immediately put your dog on a lead apologised profusely and asked after the child- not made excuses.

Two dogs, five kids, two adults. There's your problem. People taking on more than they can manage. Dogs need supervising when they play and you can't do that as well as look out for young kids.

Soiling can happen in high stress situations and so you must have been very frightened by this man. In future I wouldn’t let the dogs off lead if there are other children around. Accidents happen. Hope that you feel better soon.

Exactly.

How awful gor you @moana1234 . I hope you're ok today?
He wouldn't have done that if you were male.

I don't let my dogs of the lead ever , because of other dog owners
I won't even walk them in places other people let their dogs of
It's a shame ,but we also have had some awful experiences of dog owners being aggressive and not giving a shit what their uncontrollable of lead dog does .
And it's always been a man every time .
Sorry you had such an upsetting time op
But I definitely would not be letting a dog of the lead when I was supervising children at the same time ..not because your children or dog are an issue,but because people do not give a shit ,and many men seem to think it's acceptable it shout and verbally abuse women in public

Maybe not common, but there's a reason the phrase 'shit yourself' exists as a euphemism for getting a fright, being scared or whatever, and it's thst it can and does happen. One of my mums (awful) childhood memories is of their next door neighbours little boy, who used to come and play in their house, probably to get away from his horrible dad, shitting himself when his dad hit him one time. He was terrified. Anything that terrifies somebody could cause this to happen, in the right circumstances. It doesn't necessarily mean illness or something abnormal. Just that you've been subjected to a stress and trauma that is abnormal.

Sorry you experienced this behaviour but you shouldn't have had your dog off the lead (I think this must be a post from across the water as using the word leash?)
My pet hate is when an owner says 'oh it's friendly, just wants to say hello etc etc'
He was a teat but you were both in the wrong

To be honest yes. The dog was out of control and knocked a child over.

Surely you would be angry if your child got knocked over by a dog that the owner wasn't in control of? What parent wouldn't?

I would he utterly mortified if my dog knocked a child over.

She did, have another look at the thread

Keep your effing dog on a lead and under control. You were in a public place where children play. I am sick and tired of perfect dog owners allowing their friendly dog to run up to other dogs or people. And before anyone says, I grew up with dogs, 3 of them police dogs and we were always taught that no matter how well behaved a dog is normally, it only takes a second, for some unfathomable reason, to turn it into a killer.

That’s not right though that response.