To think people treat you differently when you’re thin?

[definitelybothered]

A few years ago I lost a lot of weight. At my lightest I was 7 stone - it probably went too far and wasn’t sustainable as I gained most of it back again.

But what I noticed was how differently I was treated by others. Colleagues and strangers seemed to be more considerate - people at work changed towards me and didn’t seem to want to offend or upset me. People in public seemed more polite and courteous. But when I gained weight it’s gone back to how it was before. Has anyone else experienced something like this?

Without a doubt.

Some people will say 'it's because they're responding to your new found confidence'. No, generally speaking people are just nicer to people who fit the societal beauty standards. Research has been done on this.

100%. As someone who has lost nearly five stone, I have noticed people are much much nicer to me now...men and women.

I certainly wasn’t more confident. I wonder if maybe people subconsciously think thin/petite people (women) are more vulnerable and need to be ‘protected’ or something?

Ok there’s me dm about three dozen threads on this previously. There are some people say ‘no it’s your more confident demeanour’, but overwhelmingly the answer is: yes, of course you get treated differently if thinner.

I think it’s more that people treat those who are obviously overweight and obese differently. Someone who is a very slim size 8 is likely to be treated the same as a regular size 12/14.

Yep.

I think ultimately people hold a moral judgement towards fatness, if it’s subconsciously or not. To be fat is to be gluttonous and weak willed, so less deserving of respect.

(I’ve been fat and thinner, so experienced both sides of the coin.)

Oh yes. This time last year I was 13 stone 12, today I’m 9 stone 3 (thanks to WLI).

I am treated totally differently.

Spot on.

A certain section of MN loves to say it’s confidence that makes the difference, as if all overweight people must hate themselves and have low self esteem. They can’t imagine a fat person with healthy self esteem.

But people are just are significantly nicer to good looking people.

Lots of people quietly believe that being overweight signals moral failings.

Yes,( I am not thin myself by the way! )

There's literally half a stone between me being treated with standard politeness and me being smiled at, ushered across roads and being offered practical help (oh I'll grab that! Not enough hands lol!'

In general, women hate thinner women, men love thinner women. It's the opposite if you're fat. Men just disregard you, women empathise, listen, befriend.

If you're thin, whatever you say is gospel. If you're fat, people dismiss it.

It's a real eye opener.

100%....you are seen differently

Yeah I’ve lost five stone yes it’s unbelievable. Especially at work where my weight shouldn’t be an issue at all.

Oh, absolutely.
You get treated differently if you're slender, if you're pretty, if you're young, if you're well-dressed.
You didn't realize this?

That is not my experience. I have found that both sexes treat me better when I am slimmer.

I’ve never been big but i am conventionally attractive and once a colleague told me ‘you must realise how the world responds to you because of your looks’. I said of course i couldn’t know because i’ve never experienced anything else. But it made me think a lot. I mean i have a first class degree and worked my socks off in my career but i’ll never know how many doors opened that wouldn’t have if i’d have looked different. I imagine the number is not zero which is rather sobering for someone who thinks of herself as self-made

I was a 14 and lost three stone to get to an 8. People definitely treated me differently

I don’t think there’s anything sobering in a stealth boast.

Yes, I was very slim my whole life until early 40s. I am now overweight and definitely find I'm treated differently. It's not as easy to make friendships and I got forced out of a job through bullying. I have health issues that have caused the weight gain and am the same person, but people don't see that.

I have lost about 3 stone over the last 18 months…from size 22 top to 16 and 16 to 12 trousers/ shorts. Family and friends are unchanged but acquaintances/ strangers are definitely more friendly and less patronising!

I have never found this.. apart from when I was single and found most of the men I met were looking for a slim partner. I have skinny friends and large friends and I don’t see them treated differently in our friendship group. Maybe I’m missing it as so many on here see it.

Well whatever. I want to think I achieved my achievements because I’m clever and good at my job and have a great personality. It’s not fun to think looks played a part or even others who may have been more qualified were overlooked. As for stealth - also whatever. I was commenting in a relevant way on the thread to align with the OPs thought process.

Same.

I've been slim most my life, except an 8year period I was significantly overweight. I had no idea about "thin privileged" until I lost it! nd yes, treated better by both sexes.

Not really, at least not once I was late 20s. I was morbidly obese, healthy weight, slightly overweight/overweight, skinny at various points in my life. Can’t say I noticed a significant difference at how I was treated at various weights.

However I do know it happens (just like racism, xenophobia, sexism etc.) and I’m sorry you had that experience.

I do wonder if it’s area based rather than something specific about the individual.

I didn’t read your post as boastful, I thought it was reflective.

It’s important to realise that we aren’t all running a race from the same starting line.

Looks play a part, but do a myriad of other things including sex, race, religion, class, education, accent etc etc etc

A tall, heterosexual, good looking, white, middle class man in a particular professional role may have indeed worked very hard for his qualifications and his career but there will be a number of hurdles that his colleagues will have faced that he hasn’t. He’s not to blame for his advantages but it’s better if he realises that his position isn’t entirely down to his own efforts and seeks to even the playing field where he can.