To think people treat you differently when you’re thin?

[definitelybothered]

A few years ago I lost a lot of weight. At my lightest I was 7 stone - it probably went too far and wasn’t sustainable as I gained most of it back again.

But what I noticed was how differently I was treated by others. Colleagues and strangers seemed to be more considerate - people at work changed towards me and didn’t seem to want to offend or upset me. People in public seemed more polite and courteous. But when I gained weight it’s gone back to how it was before. Has anyone else experienced something like this?

That's so interesting

Yanbu but a lot of women will also hate you when you're thin.

I treated myself better when I was slim…

Having been both obese and thin, absolutely.

People have a tendency to completely dismiss you when you're obese.

One of the massive payoffs being obese was men leaving me alone.

Generally speaking I've always found I got more attention / noticed / chatty people, when I was bigger.

So I am on the board of confidence helps. I'm not comfortable in a smaller body but I'm still the same chatter box, I just find people aren't so willing to talk or I find I'm dismissed alot these days. Sucks.

I'm a very average normal looking person too so it's not a matter of beauty for my experience either.

In day to day life, I honestly don't notice any difference. I have been as large as a size 16 and currently a size 10. I'm one of those sorts of people that everyone talks to, both genders, all ages. I have that thing where people remember me, and I often get recognised in random parts of the country by people who met me in other random parts of the country or who are from my local area (which always makes me feel bad, as I am terrible with faces and meet so many people it's hard to remember them all). I have never been treated any differently at work either, by either colleagues or people accessing the service (which is a lot of people).

Men being attracted to me is different though. Being slimmer you definitely get a lot more male attention of the 'interested' kind. I also notice a lot more men watching me, which is just creepy and weird, or reluctant men wanting you to notice them.

I am not even single so it's all unwanted attention on that front, so I do wish it would stop. It feels inappropriate.

Me neither, and I've been sizes 8-22 in my adult life. Being larger also never stopped male interest. Although tbf the times I've been biggest I've already been in a relationship

I used to be very slim. I'm now a size 16 but don't notice much difference in how people treat me. I think women can be friendly when you are bigger and you get less of the lechy/pervy attitude from men (which i got a lot of as a very blonde size 8 24 year old)

I’ve always been slim, tall and conventionally pretty and especially now in middle age I notice the difference it makes to whether you become essentially invisible or not.

Exactly this. I dont believe someone who is a size 14 and someone who is a size 8 are going to be treated dramatically differently and I say that as someone who put on loads of weight after my first child and is now very slim

I was morbidly obese a couple of years ago before I stopped drinking but can’t say I noticed anyone of either sex treating me differently. People now compliment me on my weight loss ( I was nearly 5 stone lighter but have put around a stone back on) but that’s about it.

Yes and No for me I find people seem to think its ok to reference my weight and size
I have always been lean and the amount of larger women who call me thin, skinny or just a wee thing
One co worker skinny bitch...mind you she had a huge arse.
Its like a instant defense stance standing near some woman who are less lean I do now find it amusing.
So happy ive gained in peri.

I agree op. The difference is very noticeable. When I was overweight there was always an undertone of disdain in the way people treated me. Not friends or family, but strangers and acquaintances.

I lost around 4 stone during lockdown, so there was a period of time people didn’t see me. When lockdown ended i realised how differently I was treated. Suddenly people were being friendly, chatting and wanting to be my friend. Awful.

I agree that acknowledgement and gratitude for his position would be a virtue, but how on earth would he "level the playing field" exactly? Decline jobs?

I’ve always been slim but people definitely treat you better when you look smart and put-together

I’ve been everything from a size 6 to a size 20 (now). I am definitely treated with more respect when I’m thinner. Sadly, my GP dismissed me when I went to them with concerning health conditions (I just needed to lose weight and was simply anxious, apparently). Turns out it was stage iv incurable cancer. Sizism can be serious.

Yes absolutely, I used to be thin a few years ago, I found people would chat to me more freely. Now I’m overweight there’s none of that

I’ve lost weight slowly over about two years. I am interested in the congratulatory way people talk to me when they haven’t seen me in a while. Like it’s the most interesting thing to talk about when it’s quite a dull subject really. I find women want to focus on it particularly but also my own Dad who definitely has issues around anyone who is fat. Like I was a disgusting failure before and now I’ve seen the light and corrected myself.

You mention going too far with the weightloss - perhaps people thought you might have been going through a hard time and suffering and were more considerate and careful about not upsetting you because of that?

Absolutely.

I’ve gone from 26 stone to 15 stone and the difference in how people treat me is insane.

I lost around 4 stone during lockdown, so there was a period of time people didn’t see me. When lockdown ended i realised how differently I was treated. Suddenly people were being friendly, chatting and wanting to be my friend. Awful.

Or maybe it was because people hadn't seen you for a long time, had been cooped up and lonely because of lockdown?!

Maybe losing weight makes you feel more confident so you are more sociable, plus people find you more approachable and talk back to you?

No I’m very slim and as invisible as any other mid forties woman seems to be.

It’s well documented and has been studied - same for otherwise physically attractive people.

Is it an attractive thing rather than a straight fat Vs thin? Eg how would an overweight pretty girl get treated compared to a slim but not conventionally pretty girl (appreciate that attractiveness is subjective but you know what I mean!)