Has anyone ever actually called a friend at 3am?

[BathroomShales]

We’re often told on MN that unless a friend will pick up the phone and support you at 3am, they aren’t really a friend. It’s just superficial.

But has anyone ever actually called a friend at 3am for support?

Also, assuming it must be something pretty serious for a 3am call. If so, I’d probably help out an acquaintance if they called at that time too.

It’s a load of bollocks isn’t it? And what’s wrong with a few superficial friendships if you’re getting good craic from them?

AIBU?

I recieved a phone call at 316am from a very good friend and was up and dressed and out the house within moments despite not being able to catch the whole conversation due to a bad connection.

It was the worst day of her life I knew she wouldn't.call at that time if it wasnt.

Well, maybe you need to get yourself some new friends.

I am so old, I grew up with the norm being that you didn't phone anyone after 9pm unless it was an emergency. Obviously this is before mobile phones!

I have been called several times at 2am, but that was when I was on-call for my job.

I've answered very late night calls to friends for help with childcare (single mum friend being rushed to hospital middle of the night for example). However, I am a night owl/have insomnia and very likely to be awake at that time and people know this about me! So I don't mind. I've been the one people message with their newborns early hours when the baby won't sleep or feed. Not even particularly close with some of them but I do remember how lonely those nights could be.

The problem is with filtering only for important people’s numbers is that if they have to call you from another number it won’t come through…

Yes I called a friend once. I had a severe fever and 111 told me to get to hospital myself asap because an ambulance would take too long. My Mum wasn’t answering her phone and I couldn’t even crawl to the next room level sick Nevermind get to her house. I called my friend and asked him to knock on my Mums door and get her attention for me. I’m glad I did as I had sepsis and would likely be dead had I just gone back to sleep! A&E were waiting for my arrival and I got IV antibiotics immediately and was put in isolation. It was scary!

Said friend is now my partner!

DD called several times around 3 am for a lift home, I always said I'd rather that than her walk home, it's not far but town centres at that time is no place to be alone drunk and female!
On one of those trips I also helped another young man who was lying outside, very very drunk in February so ended up picking him up and getting him home, also was 2nd on the scene of a nasty crash although the occupants had legged it by then. 3am is never a good time 😳

I had a friend ring me years ago after they had surprisingly tried one of those packets of "legal drugs", you could buy at dodgy shops. He sounded really paranoid he could just make out 2 men stood in his back yard just staring in at his window one tall and thin the other short and stubby, not moving just standing and staring he said they had been there for ages .After he came down turned out to be two local pervs Mr clothes post and Mr wheelie bin go figure

Only ever done it once. Someone had died. She answered straightaway.

Not quite 3am but I was once up most of the night talking to a friend whose partner had disappeared and she needed comfort and distraction. She lived the other side of the country but messaged me at midnight to say he'd not come back and we spent the night chatting. It turned out he'd drowned, which is what she'd feared.

Another time my friend's baby was admitted to hospital very late at night and she had nothing with her so called me I went round to hers to get some clothes and nappies and stuff and spent the night with her there.

Both times more than happy to pick up the phone and help out.

I wouldn’t answer my phone because it’s downstairs on silent at night.

I've had a phone call from my sister at midnight when her fiance was dying.

And I've had a knock at the door at 3am from a friend who had been domestically abused.

Both times I was thankful they had called on me for support and I gave it in a heartbeat.

A drunken chat call, I'd be a lot less impressed with.

I’ve never thankfully needed to call a friend in the middle of the night but have had 2 of my close friends call me. One because their husband had been in a serious car accident and she needed me to look after their children while she went to the hospital and one because something had happened to her child and she wanted me to go to the hospital to be with her for support.

I know I could call on my group of close friends at any time if I needed them and they would come straight to me if I wanted.

I went downstairs to get a drink of water in the middle of the night once and I fell down them, breaking my ankle. My two friends who had spare keys didn't answer as they kept their phones on silent overnight. Had to phone around to get someone else to contact them in person, so the ambulance crew could get in.

I haven't, but I've had others call me around that time. My Mum - to tell me she was in hospital. My friend - once to tell me she'd left her abusive OH and could she come over as she had nowhere else to go, another time to say she'd gone into labour and could I come collect her daughter as whoever was meant to have her had their phone switched off.

I'm always fine with being called with a genuine emergency, or if someone is upset and needs to talk then I'll gladly get up to chat with them and put the kettle on.

Not at 3am but I’ve called four people in an emergency and they all dropped everything and came over. One when my father had a stroke in another country and my mother was on her own. Called a friend and she came and looked after my children for four days (she was retired) while me and my DH flew to support her (yes my DH could have stayed behind but I needed him). Another time my DH died suddenly and a friend came over and stayed with me (she had three small children of her own her DH looked after them). Another time my son had a motorbike accident and called me but I was 80 miles away and I called a friend near him who went and got him, took him to the hospital, waited several hours then brought him home and made him lunch. Another friend had to do something similar and stayed til 4am. I am truly grateful to these people who cared enough to help me when I was in need, or step up to be loco parentis.
I can’t imagine not being contactable by my children. They’d only call me in a real emergency but I am their person.

I have, when my partner died of a heart attack out of nowhere, our daughter was 2 at the time. Goes without saying the most traumatic night of my life. She came at once. It's a blur but I remember she did a lot of phone calls to break the news to various friends and family which I'll forever appreciate.

Yep just the once….rang 2 friends the night my first husband died….they were fabulous and they know I would do it for them in a heartbeat x

My friend called me at about 3am when she discovered a spider’s nest in her bedroom and she couldn’t go in there until t was removed. We were both about 18 and I walked about 30 mins to her house to deal with it for her.

I haven't, but was on the receiving end of one, a friends dad was really ill and she called me crying at about 4am - my phone was on silent so no idea how/why I was awake to see the call. We talked for a bit then hung up (she was with family so she didn't need me to go to her, just needed to talk). I messaged her a bit later to check in but didn't hear back until a few days later when she apologised for not wishing me a happy birthday when she'd called. Bless her (obviously I didn't care one jolt she'd forgotten given everything that was going on)

I once received a call from a friend at 3am. I answered. She was pissed as a fart and had no idea what she was doing.

After that my phone went onto DND overnight with favourites set up that could bypass it.

I called my mum at 1am once. This was years ago when DH was working away and we lived in the same city as her. I was certain we were getting burgled and I panicked, she lived close by enough to drive around in minutes whereas I knew the police would take forever. I didn’t think it through beyond that, I don’t know what exactly my mum would have done if she arrived and found burglars! They were stealing lead from my roof… It was such loud banging, it sounded like they were trying to get in. She scared them off.

Other than this, DH had a colleague a few years back who 100% had a crush on him. It was pretty cringe, she was a lot older than him and not very attractive. She kept buying him gifts like a little bracelet with this nickname she’d given him on it and a mug that said “Olive you”… She tried calling him once at 3am, she also sent him a series of drunken texts. Yes I was fuming and yes he had to have a word with her. She left soon after.

Yeah its batshit.

I have never rung a friend at 3am and expected them to answer- I think that would be horribly rude and inconsiderate. I have been though many traumatic things in my life but I wouldnt expect anyone to answer at that time and none of my close friends have rung me either.

Actually I keep my phone on silent at night which is a perfectly reasonable thing to do so even if they tried I wouldnt hear it. It doesnt mean I am any less of a friend and I have always been there for my friends

Surely you'd get a taxi in this scenario?

Not me, but my friend called around 4am asking me to have her kids. Her partner was gravely ill and rushed to hospital.
Within 30 mins the kids were asleep on my sofa.