Decluttering inspiration

[pollyhilly]

Ive really lost control of the stuff in my house. It’s surface level tidy but every drawer and cupboard is full of stuff. There is so much I could get rid of - clothes, toys, books, things that haven’t been used in years. But it’s so overwhelming. It’s not even the thought of getting it all out, it’s getting it out and having to decide what to keep, what to bin, what to sell and so on. It feels insurmountable because literally every room (mine, kids, kitchen, living room) is the same.

I have very little free time between work and kids as well. I watch videos on social media of people in perfect small family homes that are just super organised and only seem to be full of useful stuff. Our house is quite big but that’s not necessarily a good thing because it’s more space to fill. I’ve always struggled with this sort of thing and dream of a small cosy home where everything is kept on top of and nothing is junky.

I need some tips and motivation to get going with this. Dd is unwell and just chilling on the sofa this morning so this could be a perfect time to make a start.

I donated some lovely sparkly
barely work shoes to a charity shop and they’ve used them in their window on display. If it helps attract people in then great!

Watch an episode of Stacey Solomon’s sort your life out and then get a black bag.

I like the show because you really do need to get everything out of a room to see how bad it is, and what you’re happy to put back in. It’s the same principle as Marie Condo.

If you just pick a little through drawers etc you’ll never get rid of it properly. So I’d pick one room and empty every draw/wardrobe and go through the lot. Do another room
another day.

I could have written your post op. It doesn’t help that I’m a forty mile round trip away from the dump. I so want the relaxed headspace that decluttering would bring, but I save stuff because What If. I don’t have much money and I’d hate to have to rebuy something. But things aren’t getting used anyway as it’s all so messy!
Today I am going through 3 kallax boxes of toys and being firm…wish me luck!!

What I can't fathom is where all this stuff comes from. We don't shop/buy stuff unnecessarily (genuinely) and yet we also have cupboards with things that haven't been touched for years.

Just this morning I've emptied a drawer full of cables out and got rid of 8! old style telephone cables and a similar amount of TV aerial cables (we haven't had either for at least a couple of years). So that's at least half gone and a few more of other types could go but I need to think more about whether any are needed or not.

Tbh I think you need to book time off work to do this. It's stressful enough putting a load of laundry on when you're working from home, or trying to tidy up the kitchen with children underfoot and noisy and needing things in the evening/weekend and I think you'd resent using your weekends on this.

So maybe once a month book a day off and choose a room or category or space and just get cracking and see what you can do.

Lots of great advice so far. I’d add that if you start with the cupboard or drawer that you open most often, because you open it regularly and because the tidiness of it will make you happy, it will spur you on to do the rest.

Plan your decluttering around your bin day, so you’re doing something every 2 weeks when you know you have the bin space to get rid of things.

Sounds like you have quite a lot of emotions about stuff. What has really helped me was the following realisations:

a) it doesn't have to be perfect the first time. I've decluttered certain categories like my books several times, sometimes I wasn't ready to let go of something the first time but I was ready in a subsequent decluttering round. Leave some time between rounds.

b) If I wait till I do things like fixing this hem I will never get rid of them. So get rid as is. If its good quality you might find someone on Freecycle or Facebook to take them.

c) if you are struggling start with something easy like the food cupboard where you can apply objective criteria. Out of date = gone. Or your kids clothes, if they have outgrown it get rid.

I don't really bother selling kids clothes anymore because all that will happen is that it stays in a pile in my office. Instead I give them away to other moms I know, it's better that the clothes get used.

Put your phone down and stop watching and start doing. One shelf, one drawer at a time. Set yourself a target every day and stick to it, after you have done it then pick up your phone and have a scroll.

I like Dana K White's decluttering methods. For me it is realistic and doesn't involve getting everything out of a cupboard/drawer and then making further mess. Her website is called A Slob Comes Clean - obviously not suggesting you are a slob! I find it very helpful.

Do you have a charity collection service in your area? When I'm overwhelmed with clutter in our house, I book a slot for someone to come and take things away. It acts like a deadline because I know when they're coming!

I use Anglo Doorstep Collections, who I found when I was clearing out my hoarder DM's house. They came to us several times and took SO much of her usable stuff away, it was a godsend. We got fruit and veg crates from the supermarket and loaded them up with books, DVDs, ornaments... It was such a relief. They don't take certain things but it's worth a look.

We also have to book a slot for the dump here, so if I do that then I feel like I HAVE to sort stuff out otherwise it's a waste (we only get 5 slots per month). And if I load it all into the car then I have to take it to the dump or nobody else will get in!

My way is to have the mindset that everything I declutter will go to charity shops (decision made on where stuff will end up) then set a timer for 15 mins.

I work clockwise around the room, starting with whichever drawer or cupboard is first (decision made where to start) two bags for rubbish and donate.

Timer goes off so stop, depending on how I feel I leave it to be able to continue after a cup of tea or I push through.

I am guilty of putting stuff in my porch cupboard ready to take to charity shops and then weeks later taking it, but its on its way in my book.

Book time off work.

Pull everything out out of one room / cupboard at a time and get loads of black bags.

I do agree you have to see all the crap to see how much of it you don’t want to stay.

Donate / clothes bin / charity shop - don’t bother selling it’s too much admin and money has gone.

I had 13 additional towels shoved in my airing cupboard last time I did it - I was disgusted.

things not used in past 6 months need to go even if expensive / nice !

Yes really good episode

we need to declutter badly as downsizing but it’s not always easy

I take clean raggy clothes to Dunelm who recycle them. Also torn backpacks, worn footwear.

DH is very guilty of thinking well I paid £10 for this and then if he gets rid of it looks as if it’s £10 lost whereas he lost the £10 when he bought it. That’s my reasoning anyway.

@ViciousCurrentBun that's a great way of looking at it. I'm going to think of your reasoning when I'm decluttering - thanks!

I love watching Sort Your Life out to give me good motivation for a good declutter. Its a kind and realistic program I find, not like some of the social media stuff which can be unrealistic.
Binge a few to give you an idea of how to sort things out. Dilly's words are great when decluttering clothing.
There is also another programme on BBC that does a similar thing but sorting out in the persons garden. This one is a bit more realistic on how to do it at home as who can afford to do it Sort out Life outs way without them!

How to tackle it would depend on how its cluttered for me.
Are things all in the same sort of locations e.g clothes all in bedrooms not dotted around the house, kitchen items and food in the kitchen, tools in the shed etc. This sort of cluttered lends itself well to knowing what you have in one place to sort out together and works well with sorting a small section at a time
If you are more the sort of person that has clutter in random places and not all together, sorting out what rooms things belong in first is a good way to go. It is a sort of gets worse before it gets better approach but I always thinking having everything together stops you have a pile of towels in the airing cupboard and another in the bathroom cupboard.

Having time blocked out to do the tip run or charity shop also works well to stop build up. As I sort little and often to stop the build up, I tend to sell alot of stuff. If it doesn't go in an amount of time it then goes to the charity shop or tip. Its all good sorting out but make sure you have a plan for what to do with the stuff you are getting rid of before you start!

stacey solomons programme is not real life. The houses look nice in the end but the underlying reason behind the hoarding is never addressed.
I was in a cycle of shopping and purgung for decades, it was linked to my mental health.
Give yourself a break op.

I'm watching the most recent sort your life out. Another tear jerker. What a lovely family

I also get very stuck throwing stuff out / donating some items and the following helps me:

• Its all ending up in landfill. Everything in your home will eventually end up in landfill. There is no benefit to you to hang onto these items & it causes issues in your home, your environment by creating blockages to a process you want to get into. This helps me to get rid. The only way to stop your contribution to you/your families overall landfill contribution is to buy less moving forwards, and buy 2nd hand where possible.

• I took marie kondo's thanking items advice - i out loud thank items I am having trouble shedding - "thank you, you were a fantastic pair of trousers & I loved wearing you". Sounds bonkers but it helps me to release stuff.

• Be honest with yourself - you might have an IDEA you will mend that hem, but you haven't done it & you probably won't. its OK. tell yourself its OK. Put into fabric recycling.

A lot of the video reels on social media are hired out AirB&B places
Made to look super minimal with perfect storage solutions

It’s all smoke and mirrors

But if you have piles of stuff you don’t use which is making your house depressing and not easy to live in

You just need to be ruthless

A small area to start

Kitchen drawer, put some music on, get a rubbish bag
Give yourself a 20 minute timer

see how you feel

Just came back from a recycling drop off and popped a donation bag in the car

Just posting for accountability

It looks the bloody same as before but two big bags left so I must have done something!

Start small. One drawer, cupboard or bag at a time.

yes to the ‘sunk cost’ theory - you lost the money when you bought the trousers. Hanging onto them won’t bring it back, you are just delaying the inevitable. Donate them now while they might be usable. If you keep them, they’ll go out of fashion or get eaten by moths and then they’re no good to anyone.

If you want some inspiration, ‘Swedish Death Cleaners’ on Channel 4 is very entertaining- but you do realise that while you’re watching that you’re not actually doing any decluttering?

I think the main thing is you have to keep going. SYLO looks great because they do it all in a week (with help). It took me about a year to go through the whole house, bit by bit, but it gets easier as you go on. I can’t tell you how great it is to have space, to know where things are when you need them, to be able to hoover without moving piles of stuff, to be able to invite people in without panicking. It’s a journey, not a destination - I’m always finding more stuff to go.

Hi @pollyhilly

I feel your pain, and am currently on the same mission.

My tips:

Have a place for everything, and put it there as soon as you have finished using it. Encourage every family member to do the same

Don't double handle stuff - put it where it belongs the first time.

Deal with admin as it arrives eg pay the bill/book the appointment etc etc.

Every week aim to go through one cupboard or drawer or box. Be ruthless - start using/wearing it, sell it, give it to charity, throw it away.

If you have space, do a garden sale. Get a couple of friends to help. Anything left - you and friends take to charity shops.

If something new comes in, something old goes out (as a general rule).

Clothes - get rid of anything that doesn't fit (unless you REALLY love it and are losing weight).
Get rid of anything you don't really like, or never wear because you like it 'but'.
Leave yourself with a reasonable number (for your lifestyle) of each type of clothing.
Pack away what you're not going to currently wear. You can rediscover it next season.

Once a week do any filing/shredding.

Good luck! 💐

Start by making a massive list separated by room, of every drawer, shelf, cupboard, storage box you have. List them all individually. Do it for every room in the house. Bedside tables if you have them - top drawer, bottom drawer, underwear, socks etc etc.

Once you have the list done, pick one every day and declutter that little section. Don’t do another until it’s completed in full. Even if one particular drawer takes you 3 days, do it until completion. As time goes on you get into the swing of things and you can start to do them quite quickly and it makes a real difference over time.

When I’ve had a big declutter I’ve followed this (think I read it on here):

It’s a balance between space, time, and money

Do you want to create space?
You only have so much time
Do you want to create money?

Pick two.

You can create space and get money, but selling stuff takes time.

You can spend the time selling it but it hangs around til it’s gone, taking up space.

My motivator is to create the space and I have to do it when I’m in the mood. So it gets bagged and straight out to the charity shop. Or binned if it’s something I wouldn’t buy in a charity shop.

I care about space more than money. They money is gone - it was gone when I bought the thing. Space is priceless to me.