A man unlocked a changing room door whilst I was inside. Health club

[GymClassZero]

I went to my gym and used the disabled changing and shower room (it also has a toilet). I have mobility issues and need the aids provided here. The room is between the male and female changing rooms and can be accessed from both sides, so both doors need to be locked from inside.

I locked both doors and was getting ready to shower. While I was inside, I heard men talking on the other side of the door. One tried the handle, it was locked. He said to his friend he wanted to use the room. Another man said ‘there might already be someone in there because the door is locked’. The first man then said words to the effect of, ‘Nah, fuck the women, it’s been left locked. I’m going in there’.

Seconds later, I watched the lock unwind as it was being manipulated from the outside. He opened the door while I was inside in my swimwear. He was surprised to see me in there. I shouted at him to get out, got dressed and reported it immediately.

The gym has investigated. They’ve accepted the member accessed the disabled changing room inappropriately but they are not banning him. They say he has been spoken to and warned not to use that facility again.

They’ve also said they are replacing the locks to something more up to date than the current basic lock, and reviewing the signage on the doors.

I’m glad they’re changing the locks, but I’m angry that this is being partly framed around confusion, signage and lock issues

He was warned someone might be inside. The door was locked.

He could have knocked and waited. Instead, he chose to interfere with a locked private changing room door and enter.

I’m left feeling pretty upset and a bit traumatised by the whole incident. I really don’t want to bump into him again in the gym As he’s quite intimidating. I’ve seen him in the gym, he’s quite loud and has a certain vibe about him.

I also found out there have been previous issues with this changing room setup, which makes me even more concerned.

AIBU to expect stronger action from the gym, and to feel that a warning is not enough in these circumstances?

ideally I’d like to see him banned as it was an accident.

(The gym have confirmed he is not disabled and should not be using the disabled facilities).

What sort of training do the staff have to think it was in any way appropriate to tell the op that the man in question wasn't disabled.

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to formally escalate my complaint regarding the severe safeguarding incident that occurred at your facility on [Date of incident] at approximately [Time of incident]. I have been informed of your response to place extra signage in the area. I must state clearly that this measure is completely inadequate given the predatory nature of the incident.
To re-emphasise the facts: I was inside the women's disabled shower room preparing to use the facilities. While I was inside, a man deliberately bypassed the privacy mechanism and undid the lock from the outside. This was not an accident; it was a purposeful, malicious act that constitutes a gross violation of my privacy and a serious safeguarding breach.
While I note that you have put up additional signage, this individual has not been banned from your premises. By allowing this man to retain his membership, you are actively permitting a person who has demonstrated predatory behavior to continue accessing a space where women are undressed and vulnerable. He is entirely capable of doing this again, and your current response fails to protect your members.
Under The Equality Act 2010 and standard health and safety legislation, you have a strict duty of care to provide a safe environment. Failing to remove a individual who intentionally compromises the safety and dignity of women in private spaces may render the gym liable for negligence. Furthermore, bypassing a lock on a shower room to view someone undressed is a criminal offence under UK law.
Because you have failed to appropriately manage this risk, I require the following immediate actions:
An immediate suspension or permanent ban of the male individual involved to ensure he cannot target me or any other member again.
An urgent review of the locking mechanisms on your shower doors to ensure they cannot be easily bypassed or unlocked from the outside without emergency tools held strictly by staff.
A formal written explanation within 7 days detailing why this individual was not banned immediately, and what specific steps management is taking to ensure my physical safety when I am on the premises.
If this matter is not handled with the severity it deserves, I will have no choice but to report this incident directly to the police as an act of voyeurism/harassment, and escalate this complaint to your corporate head office and relevant licensing authorities.
I expect to hear from you without delay.
Yours faithfully,

write a letter to your gym asking for them to deal with the incident properly and tell them what steps you will take if they refuse

I can very much believe the OP because I collate data on toilet safety.

I think there should be more accessible toilets and changing cubicles within a single sex environment. The health and safety advantages of single sex cubicles are well known and documented, but people needing accessible spaces always have to put up with mixed sex environments.

“99.99 percent of people would behave in that situation”

Source?

This. There is so much wrong with this. They should not have disclosed such information to another member of the public.

👏

Ho did she know he was behaving aggressively? or pacing? or sweating? or angry if she was inside the room and couldn't see him?

I use a swimming pool which has 2 toilets/shower rooms like this. 90% of the time they are locked on one side even though no one is in them. That's because most people are too lazy to walk to the other side of the room and unlock the door they aren't using.

😂

Why would she have answered if he knocked sorry? Surely the opportunity for that was when someone tried the door - you say it's occupied. Then she listened to the man say he wanted to use the changing room - didn't say it was occupied...why? It's just weird with the set up she describes of course you're gonna think it's empty and left locked if someone isn't showing any signs of life in there. I'm not sure how the story has progressed from that first description to now somehow OP can see on the other side of the door this man is pacing and sweating, seems kind of relevant to describe him as rabid in the first post rather than after people are asking why she didn't even just make any sort of sound to show it's occupied / no reason to be concerned.

I think those locks are crappy because they are designed to be opened quickly if someone has pulled the emergency cord. Although I work with an autistic man who has tried to open one of these locks when he wanted to use the toilet.
He is very determined and large/tall so it was tricky to stop him (as he can also melt down) but redirection is a great strategy.
The guy in the OP sounds like a 'roid boy as they're called here.
He shouldn't have been accessing facilities he didn't need,
Obviously should have knocked and not picked the lock.
People have so little regard for using disabled toilets when they are stopping someone with a genuine need but don't care because it was empty when they went to use it.

If you can't speak audibly to say "Occupied," you could always blast something on your phone to make clear that someone's in there, or knock on the door from the inside. I often go to places that just have a single loo, like a small cafe I like, and many other places, and it's par for the course that someone tries the door. Sometimes they even rattle it. If I couldn't speak audibly, I would be prepared with a voice recording on my phone that I'd ask a friend to do, so that I could broadcast my existence in the room. People try the door when you're in a public loo all the time!

If he'd replied to his mate along the lines of "good, they'll get out then" or "good, I'd like to see some arse" I'd think you had a point. Instead he assumed someone had left it locked and exited through the women's. I expect this happens frequently both ways.

He should have knocked and asked.

His mate should have intervened and knocked.
You should have shouted it's in use when you heard them talking instead of waiting to see what happened.
The venue has accepted the lock situation is ridiculous, are fixing it and have essentially given this guy a warning.

Is he an asshole? Probably.
Does it seem like he was trying to see women undressed? No.

I think they've acted suitably.

What happened when he opened the door and saw you?

You need locks that open in case someone gets stuck in there.

The op didn’t do anything wrong. The gym set up is madness with two doors.

May have been mentioned already, but these Jack-and-Jill changing cubicles should be fitted with a mechanism that opens both doors or neither. Ie, you open the door to exit into the ladies’ communal changing area, and automatically the other door giving into the men’s is also opened. That way, if the door is locked, you know the room is in use, rather than thinking someone may have forgotten to unlock both doors. Simple mechanism found in many public pools in Europe

Or just cough or something? Plop your bag around? It doesn't make sense when the second man already said "someone may be in there" you say "yes sorry!" Or "occupied". If I'd audibly pondered if a room was occupied and heard nothing I'd assume it was empty especially if I can't even heard someone moving their stuff about in there.

He was obviously completely out of order - and he should have knocked before assuming that nobody could be in there having entered from the women's side. Je's clearly very entitled if he gets annoyed at people being inconsiderate when using the accessible facilities, when he too is unnecessarily using them when others might need them. It sounds to me like he has an instinctive misogynistic 'women are stupid and thoughtless' attitude and just wanted to prove a point about his own perceived superiority over women.

However, it's a ridiculous set-up, as the place must know that people will routinely lock every door when they go in, but will only unlock the one that they need to exit. And what would happen if a man and a woman - completely innocently - went to use it and each opened their respective door at exactly the same time?

They either need to change it so that it's only accessed by one door from a sex-neutral corridor; or otherwise install a mechanism that will automatically lock both doors when somebody goes in to use it and presses a button to activate the lock and will then automatically unlock both doors when they press the button again to exit. Also, some way for the management to release the lock in an emergency, but not something as simple as turning it with a coin, which anybody could easily do - a master key would be far better.

Even if you leave the male/female aspect out of it, it would be just as stupid if, say, each toilet cubicle within the female area had two doors and you could potentially have two people heading for the same one at the same time, without either of them knowing that the other person was there too. A two-access setup like this can work OK in a private home, with limited potential users who all know (and are presumably close to) each other; but absolutely not in a public place.

I do have a source for that. Let me just rummage about while I find it...

Got it! It's a very rare resource that not many people have. Common sense! Which isn't very common, by the way.

That's too much common sense for this thread!

X-posted with shockthemonkey.

The OP has explained. Read all of her posts.

The questions you could be asking are;

Why did this man feel he should have right to access a space he didn’t need?
Why did this man feel he had the right to behave in an aggressive and intimidating way in a public space?
Why didn’t this man ask if the room was occupied?
Why didn’t this man speak to staff?
Why did that man feel that he had the right to force the lock open?
Why hadn’t the gym sorted this out after the first incident?
Why didn’t the gym ban a man who behaved in an aggressive way, tampered with a lock and walked in on a woman in a vulnerable situation?

If a man is big, openly angry at ‘women’, swearing and pacing … you keep quiet!!!

OP that must have been pretty scary. I do think some posters are approaching this from being a strong and physically able person, not someone with a disability who’s just done a work out, which may make quick reactions trickier. I’m sorry you had to experience this.

For what it’s worth, I visited a swimming pool in France that had a similar “Jack and Jill” changing facility for families that could be accessed from two points- in that case you could go in and out via a “wet” (swimming pool/showers) or via a “dry” side (the entrance/exit side). In that one, the door would only lock if both doors were closed and it auto locked/unlocked both doors. Such set ups are perfectly possible to do safely.

I do hope this hasn’t put you off visiting the gym.

the victim blaming on here is incredible, the fact a person accessed a locked cublice is wrong

I don't blame you at all.
The gym's reaction is unreasonable.
Very cavalier with safety.

I think he should be banned too.
I think you should email what happened and your dissatisfaction with their response.

This is what perverts do.
All confused with how they suddenly walk into the womens changing rooms.

Call 101 and ask for advice.

What if this was a young girl, a teenager?
This could be deeply upsetting and frightening.

I think the gym's response is unacceptable, even more so as they were aware of the issue.