I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old

[IrritatingToy]

My sister and I are in a war of annoying toys, she bought my 3 year old a set of mini bagpipes.. I need the most annoying but equally awesome for the child at 5 years old. I want something that she’s going to despise and he’s going to love. Budget about £100. I’m not unreasonable but she was to buy mine bloody bagpipes!!

My son has one of these and its great. The bullets are not. Hurts a lot when you get shot in the eye.

This is guaranteed irritating - you can even program it yourself to say and sing messages

https://www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/toys/pre-school-and-electronic-learning/leapfrog-toys/leapfrog-electronic-learning/leapfrog-my-best-pal-scout-interactive-toy/p/261138?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=12053229961&gbraid=0AAAAADF0j8LH6VUr84QVz0z4X_4QYhcZN&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIiYH-7eD_lAMVgIhQBh15SjTnEAQYASABEgLZA_D_BwE

🎻 violin

The sticky men that stick to everything when you throw them and a recorder, will only cost you a couple of quid but ridiculous to spend £100 on a 5 year old anyway.

This made me laugh so much.

Loom bands, they end up everywhere

Kinetic sand. My DD has banned it from her house after someone bought one of her children some.

With glitter glue and feathers. Art projects

One of those grabby sticks that they use for litter picking or as home aids for those who cannot stoop.
I ll put all my money on it ending up entangled in yer hair within 24 hours...

Or this one!

https://www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/gift-ideas-for-18-36-months/big-steps-old-macdonald-tractor-and-trailer/p/100364?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=12053229757&gbraid=0AAAAADF0j8Ig_HiE43Bu6XxOfbOkfWLSt&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIiq-E8eL_lAMVtKJQBh2VGQBJEAQYASABEgISSvD_BwE

A recorder because nothing beats listening to the sound of what sounds like a van reversing in your living room. Those party things that you blow and they make noise as they blow out. You can buy a bag for about a quid and he will have loads. I bought my friend's son a voice changing megaphone - She really loved that, it was amazing how quickly the batteries seem to run out. Someone bought my son a children's ice cream maker It made the messiest , shittiest most expensive ice cream ever. if they haven't got any younger siblings that might choke on them, Anything with lots and lots of small parts that they'll drop everywhere.
however your sister is a legend and I think she will be hard to beat. You could take your child to play with her child and obviously he'd want to take his bagpipes And it would be an awful shame if you left them there.

Well it’s nice to know that people are also traumatised by that stupid bear

Another vote for the recorder - horrible noise! Or a massive kilogram bag of pick and mix…

Tin whistle, mouth organ, crafting sets, glue, sticky bits, glitter, loads of beads, lots of small bits, play dough.
Marble run is great fun, but a racket.

A trumpet, and 3 months of trumpet lessons.

Anything by vtech

There was a music table that randomly said "babadoowah" in the middle of the night if you accidentally left it on.

Kinetc sand is pretty bad but you then might have to foot the bill for a new carpet. Ditto slime or that putty stuff that if you child leaves a ball of it on the bottom step it will melt in to the carpet and take hours to remove, involving the use of isopropyl alcohol .

My sister brought me this huge inflatable pool without a pump to blow it up

https://theonlinetoystore.co.uk/products/intex-dinoland-play-centre-pool-kids-toddlers-inflatable-paddling-pool?variant=40183432937637

I had to blow it up by mouth with my son whingeing and moaning at me to hurry up, it wasn’t fun

Most of my suggestions havw already been taken, but blue tack. A massive quantity of blue tack. Every parent I know despises it as it ends up in all the wrong places, including carpets, in mouths and various other places...

I have a relative who clearly hates us as he has given DD (6) a karaoke machine, ginormous qualities of make your own glitter slime, a very loud electric trumpet with no off button that would go off at random times, an evil laughing toy that also went off at random times and terrified the dog and various packets of the bloody blue tack menace.

My DD had this and I still have flashbacks - she is 16!!

A giant sticky slug. Kids throw them around, they get stuck to walls and ceilings AND they leave a permanent smear mark that’s impossible to clean off!

So obv the bagpipes are at the back of the cupboard now!

Anything that plays Baby Shark on a loop

furbeys Go off randomly terrifying utterly terrifying

This has made me laugh more than you can imagine. Got a friend obsessed with their stuff and every time I’m at her house I have to work hard to keep the 😫😓😬 expressions off my face.

A violin, a beautiful instrument once mastered but hideous when they are learning