AIBU to want to visit a friend without her dog jumping all over me

[Twizzletoe]

One of my closest friends has a dog that is around 3 years old. Every time I visit or just stop to pick her up when we are car sharing it is a nightmare. She struggles to open the door because he is barking and wiggling. Once inside the house he continually tries to jump up on me and barks so loudly. If I’m just picking her up I now just tend to message that I am waiting outside as I find it so unpleasant.

So my question is, is it unreasonale to expect to walk inside and not be jumped all over?

You'll get loads of people calling you a dog-hater but YANBU. I couldn't stand this.
You're probably taking the best course of action by staying outside, so hopefully no further issues.

Yes but cant stay outside when Ive been invited over for a cuppa or food. I wonder whether I can suggest he is put into another room to avoid it?

I wouldn’t like it either, but it’s her house and her dog living in the house so I don’t think you can expect anything different as your friend clearly doesn’t have an issue with her dog behaving like that or she’d have trained the dog not to do it.

Staying outside / meeting elsewhere seems the best solution.

Don’t go, and tell her why. She can then decide whether she cares enough to stop the dog’s behaviour.

I have a family member and a friend that I no longer visit at home due to badly behaved dogs and I ADORE dogs!

Train your dogs, they aren't babies, they aren't cute, they are fucking annoying

Completely agree with this. I have a dog and think dogs are very lovely but I’d still be totally within my rights to not want a friend’s dog jumping all over me!

I have a friend who's massive rescue staffie leaps up,barks in your face and has been known to knock grown adults off their feet

I once managed to get in,sit down and he jumped on top of me,pinning me to the sofa,ripping my hair out of its roots while she stood there laughing at him

I dont visit her anymore-i love dogs but dont need to be barrelled at as I walk through the door

She refuses to train him (and its a shame as he is lovely and desperate to please) as 'hes my baby,he had such a shitty start in life,he can do what he likes'

Not if it means im covered in wet doggy smell (she refuses to bath him), be knocked over and have my hair ripped out it doesnt

Is it just when your first arrive or does it continue for the whole visit? Most dogs are excited for a visitor initially but soon settle down and don’t keep in jumping.

my dog likes to greet visitors but can easily be called back for those who do not appreciate her greeting. The issue I have is when my parents arrive together my dad loves the dog and loves to be jumped on and will spend most of the day playing games with her, but my mum hates her coming anywhere near her. Hard for a dog to behave correctly when they get such different signals. She’s pretty good now though and doesn’t do it if told not to.

have you told your friend you don’t like it. She may just assume you don’t mind but if you make your feelings clear she may well just be able to call it back.

'I once managed to get in,sit down and he jumped on top of me,pinning me to the sofa,ripping my hair out of its roots while she stood there laughing at him'

That's HORRIFIC. I couldn't stay friends with someone who just stood and watched this

OP, I couldn't put up with this either. I think your idea about asking him to be put in a different room is a fair one, but some dog owners would hit the roof over it. Only you know how your friend is likely to react

Speak to her?

I love you, I like spending time with you but I do not like your dog jumping all over me.

please can you stop him doing this ?

YANBU, no way. Solidarity to you @Twizzletoe . We talk all the time on this forum about 'personal space' and yet when it comes to dogs this seems to go out the window.

I’m a dog owner, and that behaviour is not acceptable.

YABU to ask her to put him in another room, that’s rude and not your decision, but you could always suggest meeting up at a cafe or whatever instead and if she asks why, tell her you don’t like the dog jumping on you then it gives her the option to suggest herself that she’ll keep him away if she’s comfortable with that. Owners that don’t control their jumpy dogs annoy me too (and I love dogs) but I accept it’s their house their rules so I just tolerate it in the end. I have in laws who are like this so I have to put up with it to some extent. My husband constantly makes passive aggressive comments to them about their inability to train their dog but in the end it would be a bit dramatic to refuse to see them over it.

I love dogs. I don't love dogs who jump at you.
My dog from being 8 weeks old was taught to keep all of his feet on the floor.
I must add, I'm horrified by the dog that was pulling someone's hair out.

I love dogs but I've never put up with poorly trained dogs, even as kid I used to sit on the front steps and wait for the adults to be finished if they had a jumpy barky dog, can't stand it.

I would have already told her after the first time and tbh I would lose a bit of respect for her as a friend for not sorting this behaviour out already, you have to be responsible as a dog owner and get them trained properly, they're dogs not people.

I have a similar issue. And this dog is an adult size now and jumps something terrible. After I was bruised all over yet again, I decided that the owner was never going to do something about it.

I am a dog owner myself, but the difference is I have trained my dog not to jump, so I don't take kindly to jumping.

So as awful as it sounds, when I see the dog and it comes to say hello, if it jumps then I push him away from me, or as a last resort i just bring my knee up. And I did actually tell the dog "no jumping' every time (also trying to give the owner a big fat hint). To be honest I don't really care about being rude or hurting the owners feelings, it it is me getting all scratched and a few times I ended up with a rash on the scratches, and it he damaged a pair of my trousers. So I just do this each time, and believe it or not, he is way more calm around me now. I only greet him now, once he is calm. He doesn't a hello back in that all excited state.

It was obvious the owner was going to do nothing about it, but I had to enter the premises as its a work situation.

Uncontrolled dogs are a total pain and I say this as a dog person.

I would be very direct and when next invited say you would love to, if the dog can be behind a closed door when you visit, because you don't enjoy being jumped on, otherwise you'll meet up elswehere.

Completely reasonable request, it probably hasn't dawned on them that their little fluff baby isn't everyones favourite, and they're oblivious.

I wouldn't like it either.
I love my friends dog, but he is well trained and behaved.

We have a slip lead next to the door that we put him on when people come in.
it gives guests the chance to come in and sit for a few minutes.
dog is then allowed to say hello, still very excitedly but under control.
within a few minutes he’s off the lead and calm.
much better for everyone all round.
the problem we have is that people tend to get him excited, but after the initial minutes that’s down to them if they want a 35kg Weimaraner climbing onto their laps like a puppy 😜

I barely see a good friend these days because I can't stand her badly trained dogs.

One is an old boy terrier cross who once bit my father who was helping her move house. The other is young doodle - and I loathe doodles I'm afraid - who is deeply anxious and literally sits on the back of the sofa with her head on your shoulder to try to get her mouth into your cup of tea or to take food off your plate because my friend allows it.

When they came here instead, the terrier peed up the curtains despite coming here for the last decade and the doodle harassed my old girl to the point she hid from her.

It was my final straw.

My dogs would happily jump all over visitors… if I let them. But I don’t. They go into their crates before I answer the front door. Visitors are none of their business.

Speak to your friend.

Oh no I'd hate this. Can't you just meet her elsewhere in places that dogs aren't allowed?

My youngest dog is a pita for jumping up and wanting to sit on the lap of visitors- no amount of correcting changed this. So now, she gets one chance and is then locked out of the room when guests are in.

Ive never had the issue with any of my other dogs but this one just seems to ignore any command to leave people alone. Weirdly, on walks she has always been the most antisocial dog ever and doesn’t interact with humans at all 🙈

I did think I would get roasted by all the “but hes a lovely fur baby” dog owners. I do think I am going to have to address it with her as it shows no sign of getting better and she makes no real effort to tell him no either.

When we bought our house, we viewed the property twice. I remember a lot of back-and-forth with the estate agent about arranging a time when the owner could be there to show us around, whilst at the same time having her trusted friend available to dog-sit off of the property because apparently he was OOC. We never met him, but he must have been awful if he couldn’t be on the property when visitors were over.