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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Joke at my expense at networking event

166 replies

Reubensway · Today 14:26

I am self employed and attend various business/network events, this morning I went to one I hadn’t attended before but had heard positive things about.

There was about 25/30 people there, and it is essentially ‘chaired’ by one man. After I have my presentation about my business, he made a comment about where I am from (Liverpool). He said that anyone with their purses or wallets in front of them on the table should hide them immediately, to some muffled laughter from a few others.

Am I being unreasonable to expect professional standards as opposed to stereotypical jokes? I won’t return to this particular meeting.

OP posts:
Everanewbie · Today 18:45

Triskellion75 · Today 18:11

This. Remember how easily people bought The S*n's vicious lies about fellow fans picking the pockets of the dead?

Guy's a wank.

And therefore forever exempt from any gentle banter while simultaneously engaging in it in regards to other cities, especially Manchester and London, but that’s fine because it’s the legendary scouse wit.

MrsPapillon · Today 18:47

Everanewbie · Today 18:42

I’d hope not. I try not to take gentle piss taking to heart and don’t give people reason to think otherwise.

It’s not gentle piss taking to be accused of being a thief or never having a job. It’s not nearly the same thing as being asked where you parked your tractor. Nobody believes that most Welsh people drive tractors. What’s wrong with driving a tractor anyway? But people do believe that scousers are all lawless, workshy, sub-intelligent layabouts.

QueenietheGreat · Today 18:49

@Reubensway
Bet he's the type to throw in "banter" about race as well if he's reading the room and imagines they're like him
A type who has to get a cheap laugh to make himself feel/look big and for the record,
He's as professional as a donkeys behind!

Everanewbie · Today 18:50

MrsPapillon · Today 18:47

It’s not gentle piss taking to be accused of being a thief or never having a job. It’s not nearly the same thing as being asked where you parked your tractor. Nobody believes that most Welsh people drive tractors. What’s wrong with driving a tractor anyway? But people do believe that scousers are all lawless, workshy, sub-intelligent layabouts.

No I don’t think you’re right. People don’t think that scousers are lawless thieves. People know that is the stereotype but I don’t think any right minded people think that at all. It’s just an easy low hanging fruit to make a lame one liner.

MouseMama · Today 18:53

Trust me the stiffled laughs were at him not at you.

a few years ago someone at a work event took a cheap shot at me and I felt really embarrassed. I found out afterwards the room really judged him for it and he didn’t get the work although it didn’t feel like that in the moment.

samthepigeon · Today 18:54

Everanewbie · Today 14:41

I lived in Liverpool for a while. It is definitely true that the scousers have an incredible sense of humour, but they don't seem to have the ability to be the butt of the joke gracefully.

It may be like 'I can take the piss out of my mum/kid/sister etc but you are certainly not allowed to.' And that is fine.

IStillHearTheWaves · Today 18:57

That's awful and not funny in the least. I didn't even know people still used that 'joke'.

Zanatdy · Today 18:58

that’s completely out of order.

Henhipster · Today 19:03

Why should you miss out on networking opportunities because of him, especially as you’d heard good reports of this group? I think you should go to the next one and complain to him. Hopefully he’ll apologise. If not you could consider reporting him to his employer or whoever he works with so he doesn’t feel he can do it again. Or at least say to him you’ll do that.

Zanatdy · Today 19:04

Pinkbus · Today 15:17

I was in Liverpool last weekend and have never felt so "foreign" in my life. It's not that people were unfriendly exactly (except the drunk ones brawling on the Mersey Ferry, I didn't warm to them) I just felt different, and like everyone knew I was different, in a way I haven't in foreign cities.

Oh please. I’ve been a visitor to Liverpool multiple times and always made to feel welcome. Great hospitality.

KittyWilkinson · Today 19:21

Zanatdy · Today 19:04

Oh please. I’ve been a visitor to Liverpool multiple times and always made to feel welcome. Great hospitality.

Glad to hear it Zanatdy. We love looking after our visitors and try our best to make them welcome. Flowers

As for the drunks on the Mersey Ferry allegation from that other poster. Never happened. They wouldn't have been allowed on the ferry. Neither would they have been allowed on Merseyrail.

Some people have landed here for a bit of Liverpool bashing rather than give the OP advice on a nasty bully of a man running an employment networking day.

Idiots perpetuating stereotypes, particularly in a work environment bullying a new person as the OP experienced, need calling out for what they are.

Piglet89 · Today 19:22

Jesus this is so unacceptable. Who the fuck thinks it’s fine?!

titchy · Today 19:41

Everanewbie · Today 18:50

No I don’t think you’re right. People don’t think that scousers are lawless thieves. People know that is the stereotype but I don’t think any right minded people think that at all. It’s just an easy low hanging fruit to make a lame one liner.

People don’t generally think gay men are going to pinch other men’s arses but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be outrageously homophobic to joke about that.

Seriously have a rethink. Everyone has said that it isn’t banter, it isn’t OK. You’re the only one defending it. Does that not tell you something?

Zanatdy · Today 19:45

KittyWilkinson · Today 19:21

Glad to hear it Zanatdy. We love looking after our visitors and try our best to make them welcome. Flowers

As for the drunks on the Mersey Ferry allegation from that other poster. Never happened. They wouldn't have been allowed on the ferry. Neither would they have been allowed on Merseyrail.

Some people have landed here for a bit of Liverpool bashing rather than give the OP advice on a nasty bully of a man running an employment networking day.

Idiots perpetuating stereotypes, particularly in a work environment bullying a new person as the OP experienced, need calling out for what they are.

Everyone in my London team always talks about how great Liverpool is, and how friendly the people are, and so funny too. Seriously, it’s a fab city, and I love how proud scousers are of their city. Those making the jokes have probably never been. I managed a scouser and she’s often said how inferior she feels to colleagues with southern accents who sound posher than she does. I remind her that everyone values what she says, as she is brilliant at her job, and it makes me sad that she feels that way. And no doubt, it’s these kind of ‘jokes’ that contribute to that.

Everanewbie · Today 20:02

titchy · Today 19:41

People don’t generally think gay men are going to pinch other men’s arses but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be outrageously homophobic to joke about that.

Seriously have a rethink. Everyone has said that it isn’t banter, it isn’t OK. You’re the only one defending it. Does that not tell you something?

I’ve had quite a few likes on my comments which suggests that some people reading the thread agree with me, but yes, most seem to disagree. I’m fine with that. I’m not a fan of the presenters words, but I think comparisons to racism and the amount of hurt this seems to cause are completely disproportionate.

Cetera · Today 20:31

Really unprofessional of him at a business event. What a dick, obviously just trying to show off.

On a side note I always find it interesting that there are a number of cities and counties in England that always seem to become part of the national conversation and develop strong stereotypes, while other cities/counties remain almost invisible outside their region. Main character energy 🤣

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