AIBU to stop always hosting visits when my mum refuses help?

[CopperFern]

My mother lives half a mile away from me. We see her at least every other week. My kids (5 and 2) love her and she clearly loves them back.

We’re not allowed in her home, because it’s too messy and dirty. My youngest has never been to her house and my oldest was last there maybe 2.5 years ago and is now starting to ask why we can’t visit.

Mum’s been retired for a year and keeps saying she’s going to “sanitise” her house and get it in order, but thus far I think if anything it’s got worse since she retired. Last year she was threatened a fine by the council for the state of her (tiny) yard, which i found out via my sibling.

She has the money to hire cleaners, should she choose to. My siblings and I have offered to help her clean (as we have in the past). All we get is “I’ll get around to it, stop nagging me”.

AIBU to put my foot down and say we can’t always meet at my house?

My brother was allowed over today to help her set up a new cabinet for her new TV (as the old one is too small). She’d “cleaned” the living room by shifting everything to the other end. And she turned down my brother’s offer to take the old cabinet to the dump, instead she’s gonna keep it “for storage” of “old dvds and vhs tapes” she doesn’t want “cluttering up the place”.

oh and the cupboard under the stairs was absolutely off limits to my brother… wonder if that’s where all the bottles are…

She was in therapy after my grandad died and I’m pretty sure she’s been on antidepressants since then (for anxiety) with no follow up. Which is … yeah.

Sorry, I missed that you were overseas. They let anyone collect a prescription here!