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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be really upset about this work situation?

38 replies

JumpingUpsideDowm · 08/06/2026 19:11

Hi

I had an awful situation at work last week and tomorrow is my first day back after it.

I don’t want to be identified obviously, but I work in healthcare and have to prescribe for patients. It’s rarely medication and even then it’s not stuff that’s life or death, usually we prescribe other non medication things but it’s still something that can’t be legally prescribed without my signature or without my degree. That’s probably the best way I can describe it without being too identifiable!

99.999999% of the time we can’t prescribe without a consultation first. Very occasionally (in special circumstances) we can prescribe remotely without the patient being there but it’s very much practitioner discretion and not ideal if it can be avoided. I’m not a doctor, and it’s difficult to explain why without giving my job away but some things we prescribe have a financial profit to the company. Eg we make sure it’s the right thing and then the patient can buy it.

last week my manager wanted me to prescribe for a patient remotely without seeing them. I didn’t feel comfortable with it and the patient needed to have an appointment first. We could have seen them the following morning onwards so not a long wait. But my manager kicked off and basically tried to bully me into doing it remotely there and then (so the patient could then buy the thing I’m prescribing)

I told my manager i wasn’t comfortable with it at all and my clinical advice was the patient needed to be seen first because that’s the law and it wasn’t something I could prescribe remotely for. He kept telling me to do it and was really forceful. I refused and he said he would just tell the patient to come in at 5.15 and I could squeeze them in. I had plans immediately after work so I said I couldn’t squeeze an extra consultation in. I barely finish my last patient on time as it is without an extra consultation on top.

my manager then kicked off at me saying how I need to communicate better with them if I want to knock off early and don’t want to do my job properly. I told him once again I’m not trying to leave early but on time. He then started saying how if there was an emergency what would I have done. I was like yeah obviously I’d have stayed and cancelled my plans for an emergency but this isn’t an emergency. I’ve stayed late SO many times for patients if it is a genuine emergency (I stayed back an hour a few weeks ago because I had an emergency hospital referral and it took a long time to get through). I don’t get time back or extra pay when that happens. I’ve never complained about it, it’s just one of those things and part of the job

it really shook me up how forceful he was. I stood my ground and said stop trying to bully me into doing it, I’m not doing it, it’s me who will be hauled in front of a fitness to practice and I’m not comfortable with this etc. But he kept telling he was telling me as my manager to do it and the way he spoke to me was awful.

my manager is a lot older (I’d say he’s around 40s and I’m early 20s and newly qualified) and he’s repeatedly made jokes where it’s clear he has a chip on his shoulder. Stuff about how (my profession) are all full of themselves and how we think we are better and are antisocial and stuck up. He’s not clinical himself, he’s like general clinic/sales manager

the whole thing just made me feel so uncomfortable. I’m not that long qualified and it’s the first time I’ve ever come across this situation and I’m absolutely dreading going back to work tomorrow now. I don’t even know what my AIBU is, I’m just so stressed and worried about going back. Has anyone else ever experienced this in their job and have any advice? X

OP posts:
PrizedPickledPopcorn · 08/06/2026 21:44

I think you need to record this and report it somewhere- I’d be concerned that he’ll find something to discipline you about- get his side in first, to undermine any accusation you make.

Do you have a mentor? A more experienced colleague you can approach for advice? That would help with credibility, should the boss play up.

Scottishlass9 · 08/06/2026 22:02

Hi OP, also just wanted to say seriously well done for standing your ground. It’s extremely hard to do when you’re under that level of intimidation and pressure, especially as you’re newly qualified, it’s very impressive and a huge show of your integrity and character and care for your patients. I think once this time has passed you will look back and be very proud of yourself.

I understand why you are feeling nervous but think how you would have felt had you caved, you would be dealing with a lot worse feelings and consequences - you did your job and that’s all you need to remember. You haven’t done anything wrong and your actions are fully justified.

Do you get supervision? I would report it to your union if you are in one, or your supervisor if you have one. It’s likely he will have done this to someone else at some point. I would also make sure it’s documented somewhere. If it isn’t documented it didn’t happen.

Musicaltheatremum · 08/06/2026 22:06

CoraPirbright · 08/06/2026 19:20

I am afraid that I have no advice particularly relevant to your situation but I want to tell you how terrifically impressed I am that you stuck to your professional guns in the face of such unprofessional bullying and intimidation. It’s not easy and all the more so if you are relatively new and your boss has more experience (apparently). Bravo you for sticking up for correct practice. 💐

I'd second this. As a doctor I had to be fully confident before I prescribed and did not bow to pressure from other people to prescribe. Shows great integrity OP

ExitPursuedByABare · 08/06/2026 22:13

Well done for standing up to him. Sounds to me like he was up to something dodgy with his keenness for this person to be prescribed.

MMUmum · 09/06/2026 18:50

JumpingUpsideDowm · 08/06/2026 19:11

Hi

I had an awful situation at work last week and tomorrow is my first day back after it.

I don’t want to be identified obviously, but I work in healthcare and have to prescribe for patients. It’s rarely medication and even then it’s not stuff that’s life or death, usually we prescribe other non medication things but it’s still something that can’t be legally prescribed without my signature or without my degree. That’s probably the best way I can describe it without being too identifiable!

99.999999% of the time we can’t prescribe without a consultation first. Very occasionally (in special circumstances) we can prescribe remotely without the patient being there but it’s very much practitioner discretion and not ideal if it can be avoided. I’m not a doctor, and it’s difficult to explain why without giving my job away but some things we prescribe have a financial profit to the company. Eg we make sure it’s the right thing and then the patient can buy it.

last week my manager wanted me to prescribe for a patient remotely without seeing them. I didn’t feel comfortable with it and the patient needed to have an appointment first. We could have seen them the following morning onwards so not a long wait. But my manager kicked off and basically tried to bully me into doing it remotely there and then (so the patient could then buy the thing I’m prescribing)

I told my manager i wasn’t comfortable with it at all and my clinical advice was the patient needed to be seen first because that’s the law and it wasn’t something I could prescribe remotely for. He kept telling me to do it and was really forceful. I refused and he said he would just tell the patient to come in at 5.15 and I could squeeze them in. I had plans immediately after work so I said I couldn’t squeeze an extra consultation in. I barely finish my last patient on time as it is without an extra consultation on top.

my manager then kicked off at me saying how I need to communicate better with them if I want to knock off early and don’t want to do my job properly. I told him once again I’m not trying to leave early but on time. He then started saying how if there was an emergency what would I have done. I was like yeah obviously I’d have stayed and cancelled my plans for an emergency but this isn’t an emergency. I’ve stayed late SO many times for patients if it is a genuine emergency (I stayed back an hour a few weeks ago because I had an emergency hospital referral and it took a long time to get through). I don’t get time back or extra pay when that happens. I’ve never complained about it, it’s just one of those things and part of the job

it really shook me up how forceful he was. I stood my ground and said stop trying to bully me into doing it, I’m not doing it, it’s me who will be hauled in front of a fitness to practice and I’m not comfortable with this etc. But he kept telling he was telling me as my manager to do it and the way he spoke to me was awful.

my manager is a lot older (I’d say he’s around 40s and I’m early 20s and newly qualified) and he’s repeatedly made jokes where it’s clear he has a chip on his shoulder. Stuff about how (my profession) are all full of themselves and how we think we are better and are antisocial and stuck up. He’s not clinical himself, he’s like general clinic/sales manager

the whole thing just made me feel so uncomfortable. I’m not that long qualified and it’s the first time I’ve ever come across this situation and I’m absolutely dreading going back to work tomorrow now. I don’t even know what my AIBU is, I’m just so stressed and worried about going back. Has anyone else ever experienced this in their job and have any advice? X

Some career advice, gained through years of experience, cover your own back because very few people will back you up instead of saving their own skin. Stand your ground against your bullying manager, and never do anything you are not comfortable with- ever .

Powerfulpam · 09/06/2026 18:57

Do you work in dentistry?

cowandplough · 09/06/2026 19:04

You need to report this his manner and attitude is not on. Would he have supported you if it all went wrong. Did he know the individual involved. Hang on in you did nothing wrong.

JG24 · 09/06/2026 19:33

CoraPirbright · 08/06/2026 19:20

I am afraid that I have no advice particularly relevant to your situation but I want to tell you how terrifically impressed I am that you stuck to your professional guns in the face of such unprofessional bullying and intimidation. It’s not easy and all the more so if you are relatively new and your boss has more experience (apparently). Bravo you for sticking up for correct practice. 💐

This. you are inspiring and as someone 40 myself I am very impressed that you stood your ground against someone older and more senior (for the right reasons).
I wish I was more like you

JulieJo · 09/06/2026 20:46

Wow! Well done for standing your ground and making what sounds like the right decision.
Going forwards, join a union if you can, but also explore if there is someone who has the same professional qualification as you who you could go to for professional advice.
Your manager can manage you for some things eg. working hours, sick leave etc, but having a professional supervisor would give you support especially in situations like this.
If there isn't anyone in your workplace who could support you, look elsewhere, if you work for the NHS ask another team to support. If you work privately ask another private company though you may need to pay.
Keep a record of discussions that make you uneasy and document everything patient related in their notes including why you have made a decision to do something and why you have made a decision not to do something. Cover your back.

Pessismistic · 09/06/2026 21:09

Wow op be proud of yourself your manager is an arsehole he has no right to bully you. does he know this patient personally that’s why he was pushing you. It might be worth sending him an email in the morning just clarifying your decision last week follows protocol and as your manager he doesn’t have the clinical experience to override your decision and you hope he can appreciate you not going along with his decision. Also remind him you do always make time if necessary and as this wasn’t as urgent as he felt it was you do not regret your decision. There will always be times you have planned personal things after your finish time and you have always made sure to be available in emergencies and you are sorry he can’t see this.

JumpingUpsideDowm · 13/06/2026 21:41

im so sorry for not replying sooner- it’s been an absolutely hectic week!

just want to say thank you so, so much for all the lovely comments- I’ve read every single one and genuinely really grateful to everyone for being so supportive 💜

I just wanted to post an update that it actually all got sorted- I went back to work the following day and immediately said I need a meeting before I do any work. I told him I will never, ever be spoken to like that or bullied into doing something I’m not comfortable with. At first he said he was just annoyed because I kept saying no to him. I immediately bounced back that I said no AND explained why, and I only became short with him when I was backed into a corner and felt he was trying to force me to do it. He said I need to be more accommodating and less confrontational🤷🏼‍♀️ let’s just say I didn’t stand for that and he very quickly got the message NEVER to do that to me again. He immediately backed down and said he’s sorry and spent the entire week trying so hard to be my friend.

i took a witness for the entire meeting for my own back up, and I told him I will never be bullied into doing something I’m not comfortable with and that’s against guidelines.

thank you soo much for all the help and advice on here, hopefully it never happens again but if it does I’ll look back at this thread and stand up for myself again xx

OP posts:
JumpingUpsideDowm · 13/06/2026 21:42

Not occupational therapy or dentistry but very similar. High street healthcare type role. We carry out NHS work but not employed by them. We just carry out a mix of NHS and private services x

OP posts:
StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 13/06/2026 21:46

Bloody well done!

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