What would you think of a father in this situation?

[Grteb]

Sees his 4 year old for circa 12 hours every 28 days and never overnight?

Would you think it was ok? Would you have respect for a person who saw their child so little?

Going where the work is doesn't excuse only seeing his son for 12 hours a month though. He's only 4 hours away.

What type of 'medical professional'? There's 400+ NHS trusts, practically one in every town. Unless he is particularly specialist, one of the advantages of being a doctor or a nurse is that there is always a Trust near you so you rarely have to do the commute that private sector people sometimes do.

What type of 'medical professional'? There's 400+ NHS trusts, practically one in every town. Unless he is particularly specialist, one of the advantages of being a doctor or a nurse is that there is always a Trust near you so you rarely have to do the commute that private sector people sometimes do.

Yep… I actually can believe this might be the only work available to him and given the hours he might be doing his best. I can’t possibly say not knowing the actual person. But I personally wouldn’t make an automatic judgement.

is think he was prioritising himself over his kid, so I’d suspect he was a selfish twat personally

I think we need to hear more about whether the mum would let the child go and stay with him before completely writing him off as useless.

It’s really not that easy

That’s not how it works at all until you are very senior. Generally someone in the baby and toddler stage will still very much be at the mercy of the system.

Four hours away is no excuse. My mum in her care home is four hours away and I visit her every week.

So true. My ex saw his boys less than once a month, but he lived 80 miles away, had no car, and was living in sheltered accommodation for his mental health. He couldn't face visits, he did call them regularly though. It was difficult for many years, but as the boys grew up they understood; i never let them feel their Dad had abandoned them.. however hard it got for me bringing them up without his support.