To have a day on my own childfree

[miamiamia869]

I would like a day on my own child free for a shopping trip but guilt is telling me I shouldn't.

Me and my husband have a very good, happy relationship and both do alot for eachother. We have an 18 month toddler. We have our own roles but always help eachother when we can and if the other is not feeling up to it ect. He works 5-6 days a week i work 2 so all the hourse chores is my role which i do with baby alongside of course. He always helps with washing up and will cook if im having a bad day. I have our toddler while he working. He is with me 24/7 unless I am at work. I do struggle with the lack of freedom that comes with being a mum. He has ALOT of tantrums and can be difficult at times. My husband has a job where he is a free to pop off and drive around do any errands he has ect pop and see people and finishes quite early some days so he has some time to do some bits after work, and that sort of freedom aside from that he spends all his time with myself and the baby. He has been working on the garden after work and weekends lately so I have been long days 7 days a week alone with baby.

I am craving a day just to go shopping where I csn concentrate and look without being screamed at or having to call it quits cause the tantrums are so bad and it's just stressing us both out so im going to have a day a shopping alone have a coffee and just a day for me. Hubby is obviously fine with this and he has his hobby that he does that takes him away overnight and he's back the next day. He also doesn't get to do this much as he works so much and any free time tends to be jobs at home or days out with us.

I basicly feel so desperate for a day alone but also guilty leaving him with the baby when he works way more than me and also doesn't really have chance for his hobby.

Just wanted some opinions on am I being unreasonable for wanting this.? I am someone who struggles with over stimulation and have always loved being alone and having time with myself. I have a very hectic public serving job. He always free to go do his hobby I would never stop him unless it came first above the baby and vice versa. I just feel guilty about and he does tend to mention it alot like "mummy wants a day on her not parenting" which i think can be a dig.

For heaven’s sake, OP. Patriarchal ideas about women ‘naturally’ being in the home have nothing whatsoever to do with ‘morals’. Do you have some weird idea that women in the past were all SAHMs? That’s not true. Most women with children have always worked. The idea that a SAHM was ‘natural’ was a brief temporary blip. The life you’re leading at the moment doesn’t suit you. Do something about it.

What’s more concerning is that you’re even asking this question!

being a mother shouldn’t mean shackling yourself to your child and husband for the next 18 years.

It’s not as if you’re proposing a 6 month trip to Barbados and feeling guilty. It’s a shopping trip! Go and enjoy it and please stop tying yourself in knots over this.

There is was thinking you'd got a good un, then he says something like that. To which the correct response is "yes i do, im knackered, I'm more than mummy. Don't be fucking snarky about it." And go, have a lovely mooch, some lunch and just enjoy it. And do it regularly.

he does tend to mention it alot like "mummy wants a day on her not parenting

If he says it again, wait until he's going out for his hobby and say 'daddy wants to play golf/tennis/football/tiddleywinks, not parenting'.

Sorry I probably voted wrong as I was thinking YABU to be feeling guilty! I was a SAHP after my second and my kids went to daycare two days a week (second after she turned 1) so I could keep sane. In your case go! Your DH is being a parent and there’s nothing wrong with him doing it solo every once in a while.

Yes , you need one to function and be the best version of yourself for you and yoyr family

i have one weekly

Don’t be ridiculous, enough with the guilt talk. Mummy martyrs don’t get to go to heaven, you know. 🙄