Four Weddings and a Funeral

[TheBlueRobin]

Watched this film tonight, bit of a comfort film and love anything from Richard Curtis. What I hadn't really paid attention to before was how soon people got married? Lydia and Bernard after 3 months. Carrie and Hamish after a few months?

Was this more normal in the 90s or just a plot device? I'm getting married this year but was born in the 90s and been with my partner for nearly 8 years. Most of my cousins got married in the 90s in their early twenties after 1-2 years together.

Yabu - that was normal in the 90s
Yanbu - definitely unusual, people took longer to get married.

I rewatched this last night for the 90's nostalgia. It was one of the first 'adult' films I wanted, I was born in 1982. Got it on video for Christmas. I think it was released in 1993.

I have to admit I never considered how soon people get married

Don't think it was really a thing in the 90's?

I remember as a teen going to lots of big weddings of family and friends in the 1990’s - lots of people for big sit down meals and night do’s with even more people

This seems to have died a bit of a death the people I know have much smaller do’s now.

Plot device.

It’s a film! We got married in 2001 having met in 1995. Love that film but rewatching it recently I thought times have changed!!

It’s just a film!

Plot device. In the 90s quite a few people lived together before getting married too.

Not really - it’s just to fit the whole thing into a ‘season’.

Carrie and Hamish got married very quickly, but Lydia and Bernard had known each other for many years so although the formal relationship wasn’t long there was a lot of shared history.

Yeah definitely not a thing in the 90s. One of my work friends married after a "whirlwind romance" just a few months after she met the guy -possiblynin 1988 or 9 but near enough 1990!. I remember our boss was really concerned and kept asking her if she was sure (small family company so we were all pretty close) as it was such an unusual thing for anyone to do

I love Four Weddings but I always wonder why Charles was best man to Angus. He had a really small part in the film and wasn't part of the group of friends. I also wonder how anyone could turn down Kristin S-T. And I can't unsee Nicola Walker as the wedding singer now although I missed her for years. It's a great film though😀

Well I wouldn't restrict this query to the 90s and also I think it can, and always has, varied.

One of my sisters got married in 1976 when she was 22. I was quite young but I think they had been engaged for quite a while. As far as I can remember he was her first serious boyfriend.

My other sister married in 1980 at the age of 27 and my memory is they had a relatively short engagement.

DH and I met in late 1984 but didn't start going out until summer 1985. We got engaged in April 1986 and married in February 1987. So less than two years from starting dating to getting married. I was 24 when we married. BTW we are still married nearly 40 years on.

Plot device

I went to around a thousand weddings between about 1993-2003, and everybody had been together for at least a couple of years..

Plot device. I got together with DH in 1997 and we got married in 2003. That was on the slow side tbh, but all of our friends were at least 3 years together before getting married.

Does Carrie not assume they’re engaged after they sleep together on the first night?

She is joking!

I have never seen this film. Hopefully will get a chance to during the week. Sounds like I have missed out!

I'm not sure I think tbe film is set a few years earlier eg: around 1990 I do know of a few people who " married in haste" around that time Boris Johnson had a short 1st marriage as did one of my cousins of a similar age and 2 of my DH's ex bosses ( all born early late '50s, early '60s). I think maybe it was a bit of thing.

Plot device.

My parents married in 1950, just 17 months after they met. They were married for 64 years. We were married after 23 months in 2000, still going strong.

obviously a plot device.

In the 90s most people I know were engaged for at least a year as it took that long to plan the wedding. It was unusual to get engaged unless you had been in a relationship for at least a year before that. Obviously some variation upwards.

In the 60s my parents got engaged seven months after meeting (my dad originally proposed after six weeks but she kept him waiting as not sure) and married about sieves months after the engagement.

We were married in 1991 and we had been together for two years and three months. Our engagement was six months. Most friends were similar but there were some shorter engagements of about three months. We also knew some people who seemed to get married very quickly after becoming a couple, but as a previous poster said, they had known each other due to moving in the same circles, for years. 4 weddings and a funeral always brings it all back for me. I don't think there was the need for such long savings periods: the well heeled had the cash and usually had a tent in the garden and the wedding industry hadn't taken off and wants were simpler with the reception in a church hall with a buffet or a meal at a local hotel.

I think very short engagements were an earlier thing. My parents knew each other for a very short time, before having a very short engagement but mother wore an empire line dress and had a large bouquet. It was quite common then.

Plot device. But so much of this film doesn’t make sense!
Yes why was Charles best man for Angus when that couple didn’t seem to be part of the group? They vanish. They aren’t even at Lydia and Bernard’s wedding but Lydia was bridesmaid for them!
Lydia and Bernard had a lavish wedding which cannot be planned in 3 months
Why did the whole friendship group of 6 get invited to Hamish and Carries wedding when Carrie has barely spoken to them?
What the hell did Charles see in Carrie anyway?! Rude, self obsessed and pushed him away. Out of the time, married someone else then crashed his wedding to declare her love for him. She’s awful! The wedding dress shopping is fucking ridiculously manipulative. Who does she even know at these weddings anyway?

I think engagements were much shorter in the 90s as weddings were less expensive and fancy. Having decided to marry you just got on with it.

@itslikecakesbutitsnotcakes I went to plenty of lavish weddings planned over a three month window in the 90s.