AIBU to think care homes need more age-appropriate entertainment?

[myislandhome]

My MIL is 91, born 1935. She has recently gone into a care home. So far, all of the entertainment in the home has been so dated - lots of WW2 focus, songs including roll out the barrel and white cliffs of dover etc. I do realise it's currently the D day celebration but it hasn't been just this weekend.
It's driving me mad, MIL was 10 when the war ended. She was in her 20's in the rock and roll era in the 50's. My own mother, who was in a nursing home until she died, was born in 1940 and had the same experience in her home; despite being in her prime in the late 50's/swinging 60's
AIBU to think that nursing homes need to up their game with their entertainment themes?

Warn them to watch out for the residents who dress in parkas and the ones who insist on leather jackets, they will be revving up their mobility scooters and heading for Brighton for a rumble if they don’t keep them occupied!

I would be scared now!

So do I but these are the acts from when I was 10 so I don’t think it helps OP’s argument as her mother in law was 10 on D Day.

I think this idea will be appearing on The Apprentice next season. Sounds like a winner to me.

They have a drag artist for pride week next week, and so help me if its goddam Dolly Dover or Wartime Wanda...

My husband’s grandmother is one year older than your MIL. Her favorite movie is “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.”

The place she’s at (in a Midwestern US state) has had some more modern media at times, but there do seem to be a lot of 1940s movies scheduled to play in the day room.

They really do need to come up with a more varied range of activities. We found that they infantilised the residents of my mums care home, nearly every time we visited , mum was threading plastic beads onto elastic to make a bracelet, she was an intelligent woman and would have loved a proper pub quiz and not the ridiculously easy quizzes that they put on. I know they have to cater for everyone but there were quite a few that were sharp mentally. It was quite difficult to bring it up without the care home taking offence.

Care homes are one of a few things the Americans actually do very well

I have often wondered about this too. My mum was born in 1933 (she died a couple of years ago) and any cultural references about the war went right over her head. She knew popular war time songs, but only in the same way that I know them - from a bygone era.

How do they differ in their approach?
im not being sarcastic , im interested

A lasting memory of my time as a care assistant in the 90s was of the residents bobbing their heads along to 'I'm horny ... horny, horny, horny!' that came on the radio.

I was mentioning this to DH just now and he said he's also noticed that care staff seem to assume all old people have links to the military/forces on some way or another too...odd

It's like their clientele have moved on but they are stuck in some kind of time warp that they think they should be in.

My mother was born in 1923, so she was in her late teens early 20s during the war. She couldn't stand Vera Lynn. She adored Elvis.

It would be bloody ridiculous if they are still churning out old war music and movies. My music era is anything from Glam Rock Queen, Bowie, T Rex, to BTS and Sabrina Carpenter. No disrespect to Vera Lynn but she was old fashioned when I was born in the 60s, never mind when I’m old.

I go to a leisure centre where they do walking football as part of stroke recovery. It's lovely watching them particularly when they meet up in the cafe for a post match debrief.

There are care homes on social media with very imaginative activity coordinators. They do have more modern takes, i’ve even seen raves with glow sticks, the communal room with a nightclub and tickets/bouncers etc. I’d imagine that the budgets are pretty low and many don’t even have regular staff for it despite care home fees being so high. They also have to take on board everyone’s needs.

My dads sheltered accom ( not care) had modern music at their recent party and they have zumba in the communal area each week.

Not all care home staff are young unexperienced unimaginative people 🙄

Some of the activities like this one are more to do with maintaining independence for as long as possible. Especially for people with earlier to mid stage dementia, Parkinsons, arthritis and so on. Fine motor skills are required for fastening your buttons and undoing to trousers for the toilet. The longer the person can keep doing these things for themselves the better as ultimately no one wants help going to the loo.

The care home I'm involved with have a huge range of activities, some are a sneaky way to keep them active ('dancing' in their chair), some help with fine motor skills like jewellery making and colouring in etc. There's a huge CD and DVD collection for all tastes. Most are donated though so next time you're having a clear out offer them up to the home.

I don't think it's universal (thankfully). My Mum is in a care home and they've had an Elvis impersonator recently as well as a guy who sang Neil Diamond songs - my Mum loves ND so was very pleased. I don't think they've ever had any wartime stuff, D-Day celebrations aside.

Is it possible for any of the residents to get an entertainment committee together with some of the staff, or have a suggestions box?

Is there a local community transport that run trips?

I love the idea of a bar in a care home!

One near me, the catering staff are dressed as waiters, to make the dining room feel like a restaurant They have table cloths and a wine list

Been happening for years and there's no excuse for it - makes me so cross.

Used to work in a day care for the eldery centre and they would start with the 'it's a long way to Tippary' which i think was published in 1905!

Many of the people would have been in their teens and 20s in the 50s. I really tried hard to get the staff to understand their clients would prefer Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Elvis Presley, Beatles, The Rolling Stonesetc etc. It was like talking to a brick wall.

I'm an activity coordinator in a residential home. This drove me mad when I first started , too! I haven't read the full thread, but have a chat with your home's activity coordinator - most are always happy to hear feedback and new ideas. There's an online radio station called Music 4 Dementia (it's not just for people with dementia). You click on the decade someone was born and it plays the appropriate music - usually from when that person was late teens/early 20s, as iirc that's the age most people remember.
I hope this helps! Keeping every resident happy and entertained is a bloody hard job, and most of us just get minimum wage and not a scrap of training. I was a primary school teacher for 15 years so am able to adapt lots of what I previously did, which helps me massively.

As I said above - most coordinators will be happy for feedback, advice and support! We have lots of talented family members come in to run classes with me. Soap felting, flower arranging, art classes, book clubs, sessions with local schools, trips to cafés and local performers, etc. So if you can offer any help at all, please do! It's the residents that most benefit, and you get to make new friendships with people who have lived incredibly full, interesting, wonderful lives. It's just great all around. :)

You could possibly ask the care home manager to contact the local branch of a modern popular music choir (such as Rock Choir). Their members enjoy doing 'gigs' and the music tends to be from the 80s to the current day, with the very occasional nod to the 60s/70s. Make it clear that you want to avoid stuff which is earlier than that.

Agree
There are people in care homes born in the 1950s
Which is the ab fab generation
This obsession with the war annoys me