AIBU to think care homes need more age-appropriate entertainment?

[myislandhome]

My MIL is 91, born 1935. She has recently gone into a care home. So far, all of the entertainment in the home has been so dated - lots of WW2 focus, songs including roll out the barrel and white cliffs of dover etc. I do realise it's currently the D day celebration but it hasn't been just this weekend.
It's driving me mad, MIL was 10 when the war ended. She was in her 20's in the rock and roll era in the 50's. My own mother, who was in a nursing home until she died, was born in 1940 and had the same experience in her home; despite being in her prime in the late 50's/swinging 60's
AIBU to think that nursing homes need to up their game with their entertainment themes?

Completely agree. My mother was born the same year as yours and barely remembered the war.

When i first qualified as a mental health nurse i worked in a long stay dementia ward and they had room set out as a bar with proper pumps etc i thought it was a great idea and and as a newly qualified enthusiastic nurse , thought we could have pub quizzes , entertainment nights with patients and their relatives unfortunaley most of the staff werent intersted .

Oh - I just read a few replies about "infantalising" residents. I spoke about my previous career with young children, but want to make clear that it's a fine line between child-like, and childish. A line I think I have only crossed once (🤞🏼), but it's not easy! What I meant is that people love having fun in very similar ways whether they're 5, 55 or 95! The content just needs to be adapted so it's age appropriate. :)

I'm old and I listen to 6 Music. Other retro radio stations are available. They could just play those, or (better) download some playlists from an assortment?

Interesting. I agree about childish vs childlike but, either way, it's rather an odd ambition for elderly entertainment. We all love a bit of childlike enjoyment now and again, it's not the only worthwhile enjoyment though.

At my mum's nursing home, they were always playing pass-the-balloon games or making pointless things out of paper strips. Always the same group of six or seven residents, while the others rolled their eyes and tried to talk about whatever they were reading or watching. Or the food.

Oh, of course! If all they ever do is childlike things then that's wrong. I was just giving some examples when rushing a reply!

I was born in 1951, six years after the war ended. I wouldn't want wartime music. Late 60s and 70s would be my choice. Luckily I'm fairly fit so hopefully no likelihood of going into a care home, but surely the residents can request certain songs?.I suppose the problem is they're all different ages and different tastes in music.

That might be for patients with dementis who are not very mobile , some will hsve lost the capacity to engage in meaning ful discusion but can concentrate on repetative tasks.

For the most part, you’re right and it’s so depressing, it’s like ‘old people’ just turn into a blob, no individuality or personality, just ‘old’ = wartime. It’s very dehumanising in a way really.
There is one care home near us who seem to get it right. They take suggestions and they vote on said suggestions. They’ve had all sorts of music theme ‘parties’, they have had visits from donkeys and ponies, they have a local toddler music and dance class do special sessions there where the residents are encouraged to join in as much as possible (these are so popular and child spaces always sell out almost immediately, which is lovely, I think!), they’ve even done karaoke before (again, huge range of musical selections!) just fun things like that, it’s really nice and the residents always seem quite happy, I think!

I want AC/DC, Iron Maiden, Alice Cooper, David Bowie, Sisters of Mercy, Siouxie and The Banshees, The Charlatans, and Duran Duran.

Yes, watch the film “Cocoon”! Beam me up!

I would definitely speak to the home but, before you do, do your homework on it.

I can't provide links but work/research has certainly been done on this. There was a TV programme a few years back with a group of once-well known elderly people (actors, a newsreader etc) who entered a home and we saw how their social treatment, if I can put it that way, affected their behaviour. So playing music of their parents' or even grandparents' era effectively aged them.

A friend once told me her aged aunt's home tried to get them singing 'Daisy, Daisy' (give me your answer, do) which was popular maybe at the end of the 1880s and onwards. Before Auntie's time.

So this is lazy, thoughtless & counterproductive. The home, all homes, need to take steps to rectify this.

I used to say when I was young that if i ever ended up in a home I wanted to be thwacking my zimmer frame on the floor to Midnight Rambler by the Stones. I have expanded my repitore to include the Prodigy, a bit of Madonna, some Blur and Lana Del Ray to mention just a few from my play lists. Oh and don't forget Hendrix, Pulp, Groove Armada, loads of reggae and dancehall tunes . It is ridiculous that they are not offering culturally relevant stuff to people.

How did I miss Bowie off my list? he was a constant in my life from my teenage year through to the day he died. Reminds me of an Instagram post I saw where a woman goes to see her mum in a home and they dance to Paint it Black by the Stones and you can see the mum's face transformed by joy as she begins to move.

The management are often patronising, condescending and ignorant to the individual needs of the clients. Not saying all, but all I have ever stepped foot in. They're businesses, run like businesses. Not much thought or real care for residents. Again, just my personal experience.

In my mum’s car home, they had songs sung throughout the war, elvis , rock and roll, swing , 60’s songs from the musicals and crooners like Sinatra. My mum was a huge Sinatra fan but she enjoyed the other entertainment too. So as long as there is a variety of entertainment available, I think it’s fine.

The research about stimulation for people who are aging and may be in cognitive decline shows that if you have an environment/sounds/fashions/decor/hobbies that you had when you were at your prime it promotes cognitive stimulation and prevents further decline

Thats hard if you have a mix age of residents and also someones prime might have been in their 20s and someone elses might have been in their 40s but generally this is why care homes try to reignite those memories.

A one size doesnt fit all of course but this is why a good care home will be aware of this.

My Mum is 85. Her care home has all sorts as entertainers, ranging from Tina Turner tribute, Elvis, country etc. The background music is stuff like Coldplay, Queen etc.

i bet they have some great stories to tell, they were young once and would have gone to gigs, gone out dancing and got up to all sorts. I look back on my youth and it was wild (wish it had been even wilder), I used to be out every Friday, Saturday and quite a few Sundays if I could afford it, I used to dance, drink, use drugs, go to gigs and concerts and in my hey day met quite a few bands. The thought of spending my final years shoved in a chair waving a plastic union flag and being expected to know the words to "we'll met again" fills me with despair. I'd like to reminisce about being serenaded by Errol from Hot Chocolate and being asked to "join the boys" by Roxy Music's manager . Then there was the tine I ended up backstage at a Bob Dylan gig... I am an old woman now but I am still a person as are those who are now live in care homes.

I'm currently in a town in Austria where there is an annual event for motorbikes and bikers. We went to look at the hundreds of very big, comfortable touring bikes (Harley Davidson, Indian, Triumph, BMW, Honda etc) all costing north of £25,000 - and seemingly all ridden by leather-clad blokes (and ladies) whose average age would be well over 60. Unsurprising really as these are the people with the time and money to own bikes like this.

Down the road in the neighbouring town there is also an annual event - this one is for Vespa scooters and we've also been there to see around a hundred of them, many of the scooters and their owners being from the 1950s.

As far as I know there have been no clashes between the two groups!

In ten years time, many of these bikers and scooter owners will probably be in care homes and certainly won't be listening to music from the 1930s and 1940s. They grew up with the Beatles, Stones, Elvis and later performers like Tina Turner, Meatloaf, Queen, Led Zeppelin, Status Quo and more.

Say what you like about soft plays, but the ones near me all understand that their adult clientele are millennial or older Z and do their playlist accordingly.

It’s absurd. They should be asking the residents what they like instead of pushing ageist stereotypes

Oh, ffs, I don't think there's an agenda, I think they're trying their best.

100% agree.

when my mum and dad retired at 65 they went on an over 65 cruise and it was all wartime songs. They were born in the late 40s. Their era was the swinging 60s and 70s.

Im mid fifties, I’ve been looking for social groups to join and all local over 50s ones are during the day. Most of the people I know my age work and will be for many more years.

Its interesting that many people dont know about the appropriate stimulation for those in cognitive decline/dementia

While someone might have liked a particular pop/rock band growing up, one part of that stimulation is reigniting long term deep memories, it helps the elasticity of the brain, so playing older stuff from when the people were children rather than teens is helpful. Songs or phrase their parents or grandparents might have used for example.

Doing repetitive activities which aid fine motor control but also create patterns within the brain of simple movements are helpful

Theres lots more to it of course and not eveyrone in a care home is at the same stage so they have to have quite a range and not everything will suit everyone.