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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think care homes need more age-appropriate entertainment?

167 replies

myislandhome · Today 15:12

My MIL is 91, born 1935. She has recently gone into a care home. So far, all of the entertainment in the home has been so dated - lots of WW2 focus, songs including roll out the barrel and white cliffs of dover etc. I do realise it's currently the D day celebration but it hasn't been just this weekend.
It's driving me mad, MIL was 10 when the war ended. She was in her 20's in the rock and roll era in the 50's. My own mother, who was in a nursing home until she died, was born in 1940 and had the same experience in her home; despite being in her prime in the late 50's/swinging 60's
AIBU to think that nursing homes need to up their game with their entertainment themes?

OP posts:
SassyLemonFish · Today 15:15

Completely agree. The situation is ridiculous.

PinkBuffalo · Today 15:16

YANBU my mum only in her 60s in a nursing home and I often bring this up. My mum likes the scissor sisters music!

IAmBeaIDrinkTea · Today 15:19

YANBU - if I'm ever in one, I want some Bros, Kylie and Jason and Madonna playing 😁

RollonSpringplease · Today 15:21

I'm a post war baby and there's lots of people my age in homes. I'd hate to have all the wartime stuff as it's not my era. Mine was The Beatles. My clothes were Mary Quant and Biba style, mini skirts and hot pants, not 40s and 50s dresses. It's time that care homes staff realise that their residents have different memories and interests.

Gofaster2023 · Today 15:28

I was thinking about this the other day. I've noticed it too, but I suppose war time and the years following is a shared experience - even just cultural hangovers from the war itself. Most people know the songs and they conjure a memory. Other generations don't have that so much and it's very hard to pick music that everyone will like. I'll be gutted if they force me to listen to the spice girls or westlife when in reality I was listening to Nirvana at the time! I was in a lady's home the other day and while I was dusting, I came across her Pink Floyd lps which was pretty cool!

myislandhome · Today 15:30

Gofaster2023 · Today 15:28

I was thinking about this the other day. I've noticed it too, but I suppose war time and the years following is a shared experience - even just cultural hangovers from the war itself. Most people know the songs and they conjure a memory. Other generations don't have that so much and it's very hard to pick music that everyone will like. I'll be gutted if they force me to listen to the spice girls or westlife when in reality I was listening to Nirvana at the time! I was in a lady's home the other day and while I was dusting, I came across her Pink Floyd lps which was pretty cool!

My only experience of the war and the years following would be from movies. I am only 60 though.

OP posts:
Therewerelionsonce · Today 15:30

Totally agree, if I ever have to live in a care home they had better be playing The Jam, Smiths and The Cure.

daysofpearlyspencer · Today 15:30

I want Northern Soul but fear I will get Vera Lynn on a loop....

Lilyhatesjaz · Today 15:31

I completely agree with you. My auntie is in her 80s and she likes Queen.
When I was in hospital I got asked the date the war started as one of my is she able to know what is going on questions, I was born in the 60s, I told them I'm not very good at history. The date of the London olympics would have been more appropriate.

Rituelec · Today 15:32

Yanbu. My nan was born in 1947 and her favourite show was naked attraction and the inbetweeners 😆

NotAnotherScarf · Today 15:32

When my niece worked in one she borrowed my cds. I am 57 and into 1950s rock and roll. So I had a lot of cds which, with compilations, crossed into the 60s too

myislandhome · Today 15:33

Why on earth do they continue to do this? It's crazy.

OP posts:
Gofaster2023 · Today 15:33

I love caring because most of my clients have had the most interesting lives- working abroad, fascinating jobs. One elderly lady would have riled up the posters on another thread - she had a bar of rainbow soap and a rainbow shower puff in her bathroom and a wee rainbow pin on her top. She's a really fun visit!

Iwanttobeafraser · Today 15:33

DH is slowly introducing newer songs where he can. Recently added a bunch of Abba to his reportoire (on request) and he's working a wider range of 60s stuff!

NotAWurstToIt · Today 15:35

If I ever end up in a care home I hope they’re playing The Prodigy, Guns & Roses and Metallica. I’ll also take The Cure and The Smiths as a PP said.

ginasevern · Today 15:36

It's crazy isn't it. I think it's partly laziness on the part of the manager. Probably easier and cheaper to get some bloke warbling "Roll Out the Barrel" than a Bill Hayley tribute band singing Rock Around the Clock. It's partly ignorance too in that "old age" is viewed as a uniform condition whether you're 60 or 100. So for example, at 70 I'm sure I'm expected to love lace doilies and old time music hall. Even though I spent my youth listening to Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, T Rex, going to free festivals, smoking weed and living in a squat.

Sapphireandsteel2 · Today 15:37

Our choir visited a care home. The residents loved it when we sang fast Queen and Abba songs, and I helped a lady find some Madonna music on the communal TV. I totally agree.

myislandhome · Today 15:37

It's the same with movies. My mother was subjected to all sorts of old black and white films. Although I'm sure they were classics, she liked dirty harry, any which way but loose (big Clint fan) and the SAW movies.

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · Today 15:38

I would speak to the care home about this and point out the issues!

Luckydog7 · Today 15:38

Yes exactly 1970 was 56 years ago!! There are people in care homes currently who watched Star wars as teenagers!!!

My mum in her mid 70s grew up in the swinging 60s! Free love, Elvis, Beatles.

Gofaster2023 · Today 15:39

myislandhome · Today 15:30

My only experience of the war and the years following would be from movies. I am only 60 though.

Yeah, my clients are significantly older than you but still, it must drive them mad! I wonder if it's like how we all sing along to the "classics" that will be played on the dancefloor at any generic night out? Oh god. Are we going to be in nursing homes listening to come on Eileen and Macarena?? Eek! I don't know if I'd prefer the white cliffs of Dover or not!

myislandhome · Today 15:39

Shinyandnew1 · Today 15:38

I would speak to the care home about this and point out the issues!

I will do but I think it's universal!

OP posts:
ToffeePennie · Today 15:40

YANBU! I worked in a few as an outside contractor and the amount of boredom coming off people in waves was palpable.
Im lucky that none of my own family are stuck in one, but the most excitement I ever saw was when the scouts visited and everyone got to talk to some very young people and “live again”.
Most people need stimulation and things to do, not just sitting in a circle waiting for things to happen to them.

Pistachiocake · Today 15:41

RollonSpringplease · Today 15:21

I'm a post war baby and there's lots of people my age in homes. I'd hate to have all the wartime stuff as it's not my era. Mine was The Beatles. My clothes were Mary Quant and Biba style, mini skirts and hot pants, not 40s and 50s dresses. It's time that care homes staff realise that their residents have different memories and interests.

This-and you don't even necessarily like "your time". Lots of tweens and teens are into Oasis/Y2K stuff. Since it became easier to be into the Beatles/Bros etc even if you were a 90s kid, liking stuff "outside your time" has become even more common, so the emphasis should be on individual choice. A lot of my friends and family wouldn't even have lived in Britain in their youth, so there should be choices/variety.
That said, there was a lost of positivity in the 40s/50s, so I'm told- and many care home residents, even if they were only 10 then, do like it-I say this after being told by people in their 60s/70s/80s who enjoy forties weekend events.

x2boys · Today 15:41

myislandhome · Today 15:12

My MIL is 91, born 1935. She has recently gone into a care home. So far, all of the entertainment in the home has been so dated - lots of WW2 focus, songs including roll out the barrel and white cliffs of dover etc. I do realise it's currently the D day celebration but it hasn't been just this weekend.
It's driving me mad, MIL was 10 when the war ended. She was in her 20's in the rock and roll era in the 50's. My own mother, who was in a nursing home until she died, was born in 1940 and had the same experience in her home; despite being in her prime in the late 50's/swinging 60's
AIBU to think that nursing homes need to up their game with their entertainment themes?

I agree they need to move on from war time songs my 84 year old Dad was 3 when the war ended he wss a young man in the 60,s and 70,s .