“That’s what your 20s are for!”

[KookyHen]

So, I’ve just been on an AMA thread where the OP is talking about her two children who have been able to get onto the property ladder, with their respective partners, in their early 20s.

I’ve noticed a few responses along the lines of “I would never have wanted to do that” / “I was living a colourful life!” and “that’s what your 20s are for!”

My POV is that everybody is different - we all value different things and live our lives accordingly. In my mind, living a colourful life/not settling down until later - or even ever - is a valid choice! And settling down/putting down roots quite early on is also a valid choice!

But now I’m genuinely curious as to others’ views on this…

Are you like me, and see both paths as valid choices (regardless of your preference)? Or do you have a strong view that one path in your 20s is better than the other for most people generally? If so, why is that?

What path did you follow? Was that best for you, and why? Or do you regret the path you took at all? Really interested!

FWIW, I haven’t lived a hugely colourful life (i.e travelling/partying), but didn’t settle down straight away (as in marriage/house/kids). I did these things in my early 30s. This was more due to finances/circumstances than anything! I’m quite a homebody and, had circumstances allowed, I would have perhaps settled down/put down roots a fair bit earlier!

You go abroad and work your way around for money. Its only a small minority of people who just get to "travel" aka lying on a beach and partying. But the notion you need money to travel in your 20s is ridiculous. You just get jobs, same as tou would in the uk

If I could have traded my colourful twenties to build equity, home and family, I would have. That wasn’t feasible in the economy of the time, and property prices were advancing ahead of me. I had a lot of fun times but it wasn’t what I would have chosen.

But when I did get to down to bring up a family, I knew how good it was. Dh was also happy to leave his single life behind and throw himself into family, and I think the shock of parenthood when you’re young and feel you’re missing out can lead to issues.

Either is right if that’s what’s right for the person. I had my parting days at uni, as much as I call it partying, many wouldn’t, that’s just not my style 😂

I met DH just before I turned 23 and were bought our first home at 24 and married at 25. That was right for me and him and I wouldn’t have changed it.

Everybody has their own path to follow. I enjoyed my 20s and settled down much later. On one hand we had fertility issues that we might not have had if we had a family sooner but also now my daughters here I don’t feel like I’m missing out. I’ve done my travelling/ partying etc and feel very content

... and you do away with the notion of having a permanent address. It's just a different mindset from buying a house and then going on lots of holidays, is all. You get work to fund yourself wherever you are, then go somewhere else and do the same.

My take is that people want different things and should live the life they want to, not the one they feel they should.

I do think for some people it's a case of not knowing any different, but some people are genuine homebodies who want to settle down.

I bought my first property at 24. Thatcher era you basically bought as soon as you got a job. It had nothing to do with settling down - what’s the difference between having rent and bills and having mortgage and bills? If you wanted to relocate you could always sell, or rent out your place and rent wherever the other place is. I generally moved every couple years, once to another country. Owning didn’t stop me from doing that .