Aibu to think that clean eating isn’t that bad?

[arethereanyleftatall]

DD, 17, only eats ‘clean’. She eats like this because she says she feels much better on it, and for her that’s a priority above all else. And, to be fair to her, she’s thriving. Doing well at alevels, volunteering, working, and generally a wonderfully bright and joyous person to be around. This is in stark contrast to the gcse years with school refusal, period pains, excessive sleeping, no homework completed ever.
if it’s relevant, and so as not to drip feed, she ticks every adhd box at the top, but not diagnosed although we’re 4 years in now on the nhs list, and she’s got through the first few stages, and probably autism, but is able to mask so much, that that isn’t noticeable to the outside world.
daily menu for her would be steak, eggs, salmon, about 4 different fruits/veg, honey, all organic, and meat/fish/eggs only cooked in a special non Teflon pan with tallow. Drinks are filtered water only, and a hot drink with ginger, lemon.
I didn’t think this was too bad, expensive yes but I can afford it, but many of her peers are eating junk on the daily, and drinking alcohol, so compared to that, I feel like she’s ok. Yes, I know there’s lots in between that and balance would be key but I can’t force any near adult to eat, and certainly not DD for whom telling her what to do has the exact opposite effect.
anyway. On here last night, i discovered there’s a diagnosis for this - orthorexia, and it scared me. Oh, one last thing, it doesn’t stop her eating out socially, she’ll order steak and chips and I’ll eat her chips.

Based on the information you've added, I think you need to take this seriously. It's not the food itself that's the problem, but the disordered thinking and need for control that often surround this sort of behaviour, it can be a sign of deeper issues. I wouldn't discuss it with her yet, I'd do some deeper reading on orthorexia, and particularly eating disorders and autism.

@arethereanyleftatall she needs to "practise" eating potatoes because they are a vital source of fibre and vitamin c and almost a nutritionally complete food.
Steak and eggs every day is going to wreck her cholesterol levels.
There is no way she is eating enough fibre from just blueberries. They are low in fibre. Things like bread, potatoes, beans and pulses are food staples that provide fibre, it's not just fruit and veg.
Cases of colon cancer are increasing amongst young people because they are eating processed food, too much protein, and not enough staples that contain fibre.
She needs your help to sort this out. I have been there with disordered eating and it restricts your life and makes you boring frankly. There is so much more to life than food. Please take this seriously.

This comment is the product of complete misinformation. So sad to see. Never seen the most deluded of people say that potatoes are almost a complete food. Jesus. It's talking to her like this that will further push her away from any sort of reasoning. If you attack the foods she's eating, she will not listen. Why does nobody on the carnivore diet suffer from high cholesterol or scurvy? Following WHO guidelines is just setting yourself up for failure.

I do agree the restricted eating makes people very boring. But it runs so much deeper than that when suffering from this sort of disordered eating. Everybody else is the problem. Saying things like xyz will happen to you for eating this is only going to make OP the enemy. You have to be so cautious.

It seems like you are seeking reassurance from this thread. This will only enable you to bury your head in the sand. Some of the posters on here have zero experience of any of this and are treating it like any other topic up for discussion. But it’s your daughter’s health.
You really need to talk to someone who actually knows what they are talking about.
With every new post this is pointing more and more towards something to be concerned about.

I remember forcing myself to have a bowl of muesli when I was trying to get the balance back. Muesli! Full of nuts, seeds, fruit, oats and milk. And I had demonised it to the extent it was a Herculean effort to have a few mouthfuls.

Yes, I don’t think the child’s diet sounds bad. At that age she might benefit from some more carbs as she’s still developing, but otherwise it’s a healthy diet with lots of bioavailable vitamins and minerals. It’s her attitude to food that sounds concerning and orthorexia, specifically, seems to develop out of an initial desire to eat healthily. As one previous poster commented, what would happen if she ended up in hospital and couldn’t access filtered water and steak cooked in non-Teflon pans?

Yes, I am also highly concerned that she will develop orthorexia, as stated in my first ever comment. My ex partner went this way and it was devastating to see. If push came to shove and they were starving then they would eat. That's just the human condition. The only time this does not occur is with anorexia. This is what I was getting at in my original comment; if she feels fear/panic/guilt when presented with having to eat something else, then it's a big problem. Its not a problem if for instance she is hospitalised, is presented with a different type of food, and eats it because she knows its only one time and it won't cause long term harm. It's a very fine line and OP needs to be really careful.

I think being aware is main thing and lots of communication.
Insisting she eats carbs isn’t going to work.
I assume she’s going into yr13. Just encouraging her to be open with you and chatting. Looking at uni accommodation at open days may trigger conversations.
I’d look at trying to find alternatives to not eating if she’s out eg hard boiled eggs, nuts.
I’ll sometimes point food out to my dd as similar to what she eats (either in a shop or something off instagram) eg adding salmon & rice sushi to her repertoire has been very helpful. She might say some weeks later I got one of those x in m & s. So point it out, let her think and try on own terms.
Mine will still sign up for trips and events so I don’t feel it’s limiting her life, she has her tactics eg taking protein bars if away several days or swapping plates at formal dinner. I think if she was avoiding socialising and trips I’d be more concerned.

Are you going to fund this diet at uni then? Can imagine being able to afford this sort of food now let alone as a student!

It’s not concerning, just sounds like a normal balanced diet that someone has put some weird name on it - but this is unlikely to have had an impact - behaviour at 15 and behaviour now could have changed anyway - correlation is not causation.

It's not that clean eating is bad, it's that people with eating issues like orthorexia or anorexia sometimes hide behind these things, but that can go for anything from veganism to intolerances. What I mean is that they use those descriptions as excuses to not eat normally because of problems they have.

I think it's fine to eat clean as long as you're not too rigid. She should be able eat 'dirty' some of the time, otherwise it's an obsession.

I’m a nutritionist and I think this is a bit worrying and probably linked to anxiety. The lack of carbohydrates might disrupt her cycle, and the lack of fibre is not great for her gut in the long term. Does she have a regular cycle? does she eat only the same 4 veg/fruit or do you mean she eats 4 portions/day? She is likely to end up with nutrients deficiencies with a severely restricted diet.

She might benefit from some
mental health support from
someone who is trained in neurodivergent children.

It definitely doesn’t sound like a normal balanced diet there’s no carbs - no bread, rice, pasta, potatoes, no tap water or tea or coffee, no dairy.
Food isn’t just fuel it’s social too. If she can’t easily pick up food out and about or easily eat out that’s a big issue.
She’s visiting her boyfriend for 3 weeks. I don’t imagine his mum is serving up steak cooked in dripping for 21 nights, I imagine she’d offer normal family meals like bolognese or chilli or lasagne.
I don’t think pretending it’s a normal diet is helpful. It’s restricted. I think with her history of controlling behaviour and on pathway to autism and adhd diagnosis Op is right to be concerned.

You don’t think it’s concerning that if she doesn’t have access to her preferred foods she will not eat until she does?

The OPs later posts make it sound a bit like the Paleo diet. (or Paleolithic diet).
my DS went through a phase of eating just this. (young adult).
I think the basis is that you eat roughly what our hunter/ gatherer ancestors would have eaten.
He would not eat bread, for example.
When I explained that people had been eating bread for thousands of years, he rightly pointed out that the wheat we use has been changed over the years.
It was just a phase though.
I really do not know what 'clean' eating is, though, as I am sure the food I eat is not dirty.
However, if you mean, unprocessed food (as much as possible), then I think this is something we would probably all aspire to (but without managing it all the time)

This sounds physically a healthy diet, but a mentally unhealthy one. Sounds like OCD to me and tipping over into disordered eating.

I think like everyone else, i'm more concerned about the lack of flexibiltiy but also, as @JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff posted, how much of what she's doing is based on actual science. I totally get the feeling more full, for longer, on protein and wanting that over, for example, porridige. I have no problem with that and I admire anyone who can figure out what sort of eating works best for them.

The problem is that she's sort of mashing a few things together. So she's fuller for longer on high protein food - fine - but she's ignoring the need for variety (to support gut health), as well as fibre and other nutrients, including at least some carbs (although she's getting a type of carbs from all the fruit).

Then she wants to eat with no chemicals etc - again, broadly, fine - but scientifically speaking, eating food cooked on high quality kitchenware in 2026 is not goign to fill her with chemicals or things that will be bad for her. x100 if it's only when she's not at home that she's eating such things. So she's not basing this on any real scientific evidence but rather social-media driven hysteria. That would concern me.

Then there's the lack of flexibility. I was intersted in this comment from you:
her argument against this being disordered eating would be ‘why’? She feels great on it, knows the costs of prioritising it and is happy with the pros. She would argue why is this a ‘diet’ you need a dietitian for, but eating McDonald’s, crisps and monster daily isn’t?
Where's the middle ground? I think most people would agree that someone who is eatin McDonalds daily is not eating healthily and would benefit from the advice of a dietician.

Meanwhile, I can count on the fingers of less than one hand the number of times I eat McDonalds in a year, but I eat out a few times a month at restaurants ranging from burger joints to michelin starred restaurants. I have friends who wouldn't eat a burger but there are dozens of other restaurants we can go to instead. And for me personally, I'm not a huge burger fan so if I do land up in one (usually with the DC), I'll order a small burger, and replace fries with a salad rather than a double patty burger, large fries and a shake - so even within the burger joint, I can make "healthier" choices.

So my concern wit your DD is that her information is somewhat irrational and erratic, and the potential for obsession. Not the actual food she's eating in itself.

Why no carbs? Organic potatoes would fall under ‘clean’.

My Dsis has a lifelong ED which started around the same age in a similar way. She became ‘vegetarian’. This was the 90s, no such thing as clean eating. It was just a handy way to restrict large group of food.
she has always looked ‘well’, she genuinely looks 20 years younger, face without a wrinkle on it, shiny bouncy hair, not a grey in her head. On the inside she’s very much not well.

i have no advice, nothing every really worked for us. Absolutely keep an eye on this, it may just be a fad she’s seen online and she’ll move on. Maybe not.

I think it depends, only a nutritionist or doctor who does bloods would be able to tell you I'd she's properly nourished and getting the fibre, vitamins and various minerals she needs, it does sound good from a fats and protein perspective though. I would say its pretty restricted and also a bit nonsens-y, there is nothing inherently bad about carbohydrates and the problem becomes if she starts getting more and more restricted and takes on board any hear-say or insta post about a "bad" food. Oats have suffered from

depends on how much interferes with day to day life. Plenty of people eat similar diets (meat and two veg) but if it’s her main topic of conversation and impacts her socially and is a focus rather than just a preference then I’d be more worried.

I’ve got a ASD kid with ARFID and a clean eating good friend. I’ve had to distance myself from the clean eating friend. Mostly because she’s so boring but I was finding the value and moral judgements around diet and eating to not be something I could smile, shrug and move on to the next topic about.

Op has clarified she’s in a carnivore type diet. The problem is if she’s getting advice from online sources like tik tok and is ND with an obsessive type personality it’s easy to spiral down a rabbit hole. Eg quick look on tik tok there’s young women posting perky what I eat type on a carnivore diet posts - mainly steak and eggs and god forbid a little avocado on side and lots of sarcastic or aggressive comments from men about what animal is the avocado from. You aren’t doing it right. Other posters vilifying oats. It’s not a healthy mentality at all that some foods are completely off table.
It’s a hot day and you are on a long journey would she drink water or refuse if not filtered.
Her school offer an overnight trip to a university - does she sign up or refuse as she’s worried about 2 days no safe food.

Nobody, like ever

Can those who claim her diet is balanced explain how eating nothing but meat and eggs for weeks is a balanced diet.

I think her diet sounds nutritious and healthy. Much more so than some of the other things we see people eat on here. Her arguments sound sensible and not like disordered eating, she seems to be eating sufficient calories?

She’ll be getting complete proteins and a range of micronutrients from meat. She does eat fruit/veg so will have more micronutrients from there too. Eating organic is the best way to eat and good on her for sticking to it. I don’t see it as a problem if she’s not flexible about it - in the same way someone with other food related beliefs wouldn’t be - eg vegetarian, veganism, halal, kosher. It’s also similar to people who feel better doing gluten free / dairy free etc without having an actual allergy.

Eating mayonnaise isn't carnivore, sorry.