Only child and no neighbourhood kids left

[Silverfish23]

I’m not really sure what I’m looking for here, perhaps just a bit of a vent and to see if anyone else has found themselves in a similar situation.

My DS is 7 and an only child. When we first moved here there were lots of children on our road and in the surrounding houses. We have a green area, playground and woodland directly opposite our house, and the kids would all be out there together. It was exactly the sort of childhood I’d hoped he would have.
Fast forward a few years and most of those children are now teenagers who understandably no longer want to "play out". A couple of the remaining families have their houses up for sale and will be moving away.
What I’ve noticed is that the majority of people moving into our street seem to be either young professional couples without children, couples in their 60s+, or families with much older teenagers. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but it does leave very few younger children around.

I find myself feeling quite sad for my son. As an only child, I really wanted him to have those spontaneous friendships and unstructured play opportunities that seem harder and harder to come by nowadays. He does activities outside school and has friends, so it’s not that he lacks a social life, but it’s different from being able to knock on a neighbour’s door and ask if someone can come out to play.
Occasionally we visit friends who live on an estate where there are loads of children. They’re all in and out of each other’s houses, riding bikes together and playing outside until tea time, and I can’t help feeling a bit wistful watching it because it’s something my son doesn’t really have.

The strange thing is that I genuinely think where we live is beautiful. We’re in a northern market town surrounded by hills, woodland and green spaces. We regularly see deer from our bedroom window and hear owls at night. It’s peaceful and feels very safe. Yet so many families seem to be leaving this particular area and I can’t quite work out why.
Moving isn’t an option for us at the moment financially, so that’s not really on the table.

Has anyone else found themselves in a similar position? Did your children still find their own friendships and independence as they got older, even without lots of neighbourhood children around?

This has always been my biggest fear for DS. I wanted another DC so he wouldn't be alone especially when we're gone. It wasn't possible sadly and we can't adopt. I can only hope that he finds a loving partner and has his own family one day.

I didn't play out as a child - despite being a child of the 80s/90s, my parents would not have allowed me to be unsupervised at primary age. I really don't feel I missed out on anything.

My kids do after school club most days and I feel like that is the best of both worlds - they get unstructured play with their friends but in a safe environment

How about him joining a team sport?

I've noticed similar. There are lots of kids in the wider neighborhood, (including more expensive streets than ours) but it's all older families/couples that are buying houses when one comes up for sale. I think it's a housing affordability thing.

If a younger family moves in they rent, and then the landllord licks them out. (I'm in Canada.)

If a younger family moves in they rent, and then the landllord licks them out.

Canadian landlords sound kinda pervy.

We shouldn't judge other cultures.

I would let him join as many clubs and extra curricular activities as possible and he'll meet friends that way and then he can invite friends round for play dates. Something similar has happened in my area and elderly retired couples have moved in and they're extremely intolerant and rude to my DS if he goes outside and bounces a ball. I feel sad for him too. People complain about kids not playing anymore but our elderly population doesn't make it pleasant for them if they do.

Lots of roads go through this. We moved into a street full of kids while I was pregnant with dc1. Now those already established families are empty nest houses, lots of teens at uni for our road. We’re probably going to stay here even after our dcs grow up and leave home, I can see me going from this house to the care home as it’s a great location for when we age. I think many of those other couples who moved here with young dcs will do the same.

perhaps in 30 years time we’ll all sell up and suddenly it’ll become a street for young families again.

We live on a pretty quiet street with lots of young kids and still no one lets their kids out to play here. I think north-south divide or regional cultures have a lot to do with this too. It’s still a thing where I’m from.

does he do Cub Scouts- they have all sorts of outdoor adventures and fun.

This was anecdotal. One landlord had some bad tenants they did evict (nice kids though) another evicted bc they wanted to sell, which sucked as they weren't honest.

You say he has friends and a social life so perhaps just be happy for that? Ok it's not exactly as you had dreamed but you're talking about forests, deers and owls and quite frankly making me feel a bit sick with jealousy here.
My dd is autistic and has no friends. She's 12, she wants a friend more than anything in the world and yet lacks the skills to make and keep friends. She's an absolute sweetheart and it breaks my heart to pieces. I could count the amount of playdates she's had on one hand.
So please just be happy with what you have.

Thanks for all the replies.

He does go to beavers, will be starting at cubs once he turns 8 at the end of the year.
He also does judo and we are looking into him doing something else, maybe football.

We try and do regular play dates too.

I cannot stress how many families have awful sibling relationships, ones that are actually damaging. Even those appearing great on SM, don't believe it is reflective.

The fact you wrote a post showing you care like that says you're world's ahead than so many mums who didn't genuinely care about their kids but that kid may have had siblings. A loving caring mum is the most important thing. Don't feed too much into the romanticised vision presented ref siblings.

Read posts on here and see how it often is.

There will be big social skill advantages for your child naturally finding a way to make connections. Look at every single benefit to them in being a lone child. Offer multiple opportunity to socialise and to build their skills in connection without this anxiety feeding it.

My sibling relationship has been tormented and eventually no contact was all I had left as a choice.

Wrong thread..similar subject. Apologies. 💐

My child is 5 & plays out all time. We’re lucky with our place that there’s lots of kids. It’s just DS, and he loves when his pals call around. We’d really miss them if they weren’t here. Sometimes he goes to their houses, or they all play out together.

We don’t do play dates, occasionally with friends from play school. I guess it’s different everywhere, but I like the fact that DS has his own social avenues. Without me involved. Other local mums are the same, we just let the kids get on with it.

TranscendThis
Only just seen your post. Just wanted to say thanks so much for your kind words ☺️ and I'm sorry to hear your sibling relationship sadly broke down. It's the same for me to some extent. But my DH seems to have better relationships with his although he will tell me differently!