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Original poster

Eating through my daughter

278 replies

rachelsroses · 04/06/2026 21:45

I was desperate for my daughter not to have my disordered eating that I’ve made her overweight by buying her all the things I don’t eat.
I have orthorexia and I buy all my forbidden foods for my daughter and now she is overweight.
I eat a healthy meal while she is at school and make a plate of my forbidden food for her for when she gets home.
I know it sounds ridiculous but I’ve only just realised what I’ve been doing and now I don’t know what to do because I don’t want her to have my restrictive diet but I also don’t know what is normal eating.

OP posts:
Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 07/06/2026 01:52

Velumental · 05/06/2026 07:12

Op bas been careful not to tell us her daughters actual height which I would bet my left arm is no shorter than 4 foot 9. She's JUST overweight while tall and on the brink of puberty

Op is anorexic, her perceptions are based on her own weight as an adult woman being under 7 stone. I highly doubt she's feeding her daughter as much as she thinks she is as she is not a reliable narrator.

Her freak out is about seeing that her child is heavier than her, she obviously didn't think her child looked overweight as she states 'i just thought she had her dad's metabolism' so before seeing the scale she was under impression she was fine

A normal parent might look at that weight, check a calculator and dgo, ooft she's at the upper end of normal or just into overweight, now she had just had a big lunch and was wearing her full school uniform including Dr marten shoes so it's possible her weight is a little lower. I might just take pizza off the weekly rotation for a bit and replace it with a sturdy just for now and I'll encourage her to take fruit instead of crisps at snack at school...

Op did none of this, she made it a bit herself and panicked as it could unsettled this orthorexia label she'd put on herself. Which aho s she is in active eating disorder and denial because nothing about her eating says orthorexia. She has anorexia and she's upset her daughter has reached a weight higher than hers.

My mum was 4 foot 9 and freaked out when I, a girl who as 5 foot 4 at the time was 9 stone at 11. Set me a trajectory of terrible eating for the rest of my life that I still spend time rejigging. That's what OP is about to do to her daughter and already has to an exteng

Show quote history

Again with the making shit up!

Of all the '4 foot something' heights this girl could be, you've decided she can only be the upper range that suits your narrative.

Your 'betting your left arm' and 'strongly suspecting' is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. (Pardon the pun.)

Why not try to engage with the facts you've been given? You can still help the OP. She's more likely to listen to your good advice if you're responding to what she's telling you and not the scenario you've created in your head, which is clearly based on someone else's experience and not hers?

westmommy · 07/06/2026 10:11

This is such a distressing and sad thread OP, I really hope you get help as soon as possible, for yourself and your daughter.

How on earth are you surviving on such little quantities of food and drink for days on end? You must have headaches, fainting or anything else that would be noticeable to others around? As fellow PPs have said hasn’t your husband picked up on anything on weekends, holidays?

Do you have any other support with family/friends nearby?

Please give us an update, sending you love x

balabusta · 07/06/2026 12:16

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 07/06/2026 01:52

Again with the making shit up!

Of all the '4 foot something' heights this girl could be, you've decided she can only be the upper range that suits your narrative.

Your 'betting your left arm' and 'strongly suspecting' is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. (Pardon the pun.)

Why not try to engage with the facts you've been given? You can still help the OP. She's more likely to listen to your good advice if you're responding to what she's telling you and not the scenario you've created in your head, which is clearly based on someone else's experience and not hers?

Show quote history

It's also not how anorexia works. People with anorexia often have extreme dysmorphia regarding their own bodies but are completely able to realistically recognise body size in others. I have seen this anecdotally and it is also seen in the research.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6386369/

People with anorexia are controlling about their own food but often enjoy seeing others eat and cooking/feeding others. It's part of the disease (there is actually an interesting theory about the evolutionary origins of anorexia given how strong its genetic component is and how this characteristic fits with that but that's not for this thread)

It is highly unlikely that the OP's concern for her daughter's weight is triggered by anything other than genuine concern for her wellbeing. In fact, her admission that her eating disorder (however she frames it) is leading her to over-feed her daughter is insightful and brave.

When do anorexic patients perceive their body as too fat? Aggravating and ameliorating factors - PMC

Our study investigated body image representations in female patients with anorexia nervosa and healthy controls using a size estimation with pictures of their own body. We also explored a method to reduce body image distortions through right ...

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6386369/

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