To be cringed out by this (re sharing a takeaway)

[Cloudyonasunnyday]

When me and partner get a takeaway and share it he is obsessive over making sure we get half each, he will literally count pieces of chicken in a curry for example - how would this make you feel ?

Depends, is he making sure you get half? Or making sure you don't get more than half?

That’s a whole different conversation ! We had arguments about it but I stood my ground and made sure he has paid up so I’m not financially insecure

And yet, somehow, the shitty side is always yours...

This is the key thing, which is why I suggested deliberately giving him a choice over a big plate and a smaller one. I think it will be eye opening.

We would just take what we wanted but I’d usually expect my husband to have larger portion than I of most things - only time I’m aware of how much protein is being dished up is something like a curry or stirfry where it’s easy to end up with a plate of veggies , I’d make sure I got some meat

That’s the question isn’t it.. I do wonder

i used to worry about that but it was trauma from a dad who would loan me ten pence and make me pay it back and he was very transactional.

So he is just fucking tight then? How on earth did he bring himself to part with enough sperm for you to get pregnant?!

Imagine there was a magical way you could ask him

Mmm, have you said 'thats really weird, why do you do that?'

I used to do it, back when I was 17/18... I'd grown up with a younger sister who would have an epic meltdown (not misusing that she was dx ASD) if she thought the division of food between us was unfair, so thats what we did. I realised pretty early on when someone told me it was rude and weird and stopped doing it.

I don't have any issues with how much DP takes of anything, he's very good and asks if he's not sure if left overs are fair game or just mine or if we're sharing something etc. We don't steal each others treats, we never try to get more than our fair share (and its usually a bit more him bit less me as he can eat more than I can but he is more than happy if I can eat more for some reason).

I was thinking this.

His behaviour sounds a bit much but better than those who deliberately help themselves to more than their fair share, or expect that when sharing with a partner.

Say no more.
They definitely stand out. Experience of this myself.
They make for "different" relationships in my experience.

We get a takeaway portion each and one rice. We enjoy more than half a portion but less than one. Luckily we have two hungry dogs who appreciate a bit of Chinese in their kibble for breakfast.

If DH started counting I'd be annoyed and say so.

If it's because he wants to make sure it's actually fair and you get half -- brilliant, a keeper, this is lovely!

If it's because he's making you pay for half and doesn't want you eating a shred more poppadom than you deserve -- run for the hills

I do this but only because me and DH both love food and it should be fair!!!

I struggle with dividing by sight so I always use counting. When I’m cooking I weight my cookies, counting spoonfuls and use a ruler.

Except that most Asian foods have ingredients dogs shouldn't eat. I'd rather keep left overs or bin it than face expensive vet bills due to what was in it. 😬

That’s where me having a much smaller appetite works !, when we get a takeaway DH will tell me to take what I want so he knows he can eat what he wants of the rest, mind you we always seem to get to much so it’s not really an issue.

my biggest gripe (and if posted about this before) is that on any meal/snack etc he always seems to get there first and will take the best looking bits, the nicest chop or the piece of cake with the big piece of chocolate on or the one I’ve decorated perfectly. Now that pisses me off.

My dad always said one divides it abd the other one chooses which portion.

Jesus I couldn’t be doing with this kind of crap.
Order enough so you can both take what you want and there’s no counting out of individual pieces of diced chicken.
Dh eats more than I do but we all serve ourselves from dishes in the middle of the island for a regular meal time so we can have the portion size we want.
When we get a takeaway we just get what we each want. If we both wanted the same thing we’d order 2 dishes of the same so we weren’t doing shit like this.

I'd say to both just get your own and fridge half of it to have the next day. Just make sure you know whose is whose. 😉 DH and I often do this with curries as he likes spicier dishes than me.

Sigh. As I said in my earlier post, these men don’t make good partners and fathers because they are too busy resenting what everyone else has, gets, or “takes” from them. But you’ll see soon enough, unfortunately.

Keep posting here whenever you need support.

I would be very happy with equal sharing. Given the chance, my DH would take far more than his fair share and not give a shit.

That has brought back a long buried memory. Not an ex but my mother. Also tight as a drum. She would insist on just enough on the (v v rare) occasion we got a takeaway. "No one NEEDS a whole portion we can all share" and it was never quite enough for a manual labouring man (she was an admin assistant at the time) and two growing girls, but as long as she had enough for her that was therefore enough for everyone. She was very much part of the 70s/80s contingent of women who were always "slimming". Managed to mainline a packet of biscuits most nights though, Dsis and I weren't allowed biscuits as we didnt "need" them.

They went on holiday years later with my sister and her husband and she was fucking furious that my sister and BIL insisted on ordering what they wanted (they were paying!) because it made her look stingy, dad had a ball! Now he is in charge of shopping and cooking as he retired before she did, portions are much bigger but......key thing....he is the one paying so she doesnt care as long as it doesnt cost her a penny.

Someone who wouldnt want me having one more piece of chicken isn't someone I would want to spend my time /life with🧐
I mean they are supposed to love you. This attitude will affect more than curry. Is he generous ever? If not he's just using u because u are meeting his needs for sex etc.

That seems a bit odd - they’ve been married/together that long and she sees it as he is paying?! Like surely their money is all tied up together by now!