AIBU to worry my 15-year-old son will stay short?

[Peonytimeguys]

I know it matters to him. He will say something (about how the girls tell him
height is the most important thing for them!) and then clam up but he internalises it, I know- he keeps expecting another growth spurt but who can say that will happen.

i know all the right things to say and I say them. I reflect on how it doesn’t matter, that it’s important build a life on better, less shallow values than how we look. Equally (yes I know therein lies contradictions) I tell him how gorgeous (he is, genuinely) looking, smart, funny and a good person he is. And kids are cruel and school is brutal yada yada

But inside I do think the world is brutal, harsh re what women go for (even the dating apps have height filters) and as much as I try to reject the nonsense, my heart hurts that he will be judged and rejected in love etc - even though I fully realise there are many reasons we get judged, height is just one of them!

He is 15.5yrs, 5ft 6. He shot up about 6 inches in a year - was always on the v short side now less so. Late developer? No facial or underarm hair. Dad is 5ft 8, im 5ft 3. His feet aren’t big

Same same, I used to work in a school with a sixth form.

It was very noticeable that year 11 boys would return in Sept looking taller and more filled out, much more like grown men.

Some of it was lack of uniform no doubt but it's a definite thing.

My DS is 5’4” at almost 18 and he has grown about 4” this year. He saw a specialist for a few years and has had bone scans. Turns out he has 3 year delayed puberty. His growth plates haven’t yet fused and he can expect to keep growing into his early 20s - topping out at somewhere between 5’6” and 5’10”, so he’s not going to be huge, but then neither are we. It has been tough for him - he hasn’t started shaving yet (apart from a bit of a bum fluff moustache) and he looks about 12, but I can start to see changes now. The doctor’s advice was to get the calories into him and it didn’t matter too much where they came from as long as he was getting them.

He has never been a big eater but on the doctor’s advice we’re focusing on high protein, high fat, high carb, meals - steak fried in butter and oil, peppercorn sauce made with double cream, and mashed potatoes made with double cream and butter (and peas), is a current, expensive favourite, alongside lots of things like spaghetti bolognese with 12% fat minced beef, chilli, homemade burgers, homemade Thai curries with full fat coconut milk. There’s plenty of Nutella and peanut butter available, and breakfast bars like Natures Harvest, and BReady for snacking. There is always ice cream in the freezer and chocolate in the fridge.

It’s torture for me as I can’t eat like that without gaining a lot of weight, but it is good to see the changes in him. He’s not the smallest boy in the year anymore.

They probably are as much as parents are talking to boys about liking women of all sizes not just slim ones.

some things are preference and some things are confidence. If he confident and self assured it will help loads. And a reminder that he doesn’t haven’t to be everyone’s type.

OP, we can’t appeal to everyone. If a girl who is 5 foot 0 insists she only wants a man over 6 foot then honestly, let her. As a flat chested brunette I’m not going to spend my time worrying about men who only like buxom blondes!

At the end of the day being bitter about it is the worst thing he can do. Personality and being a good partner are the only things that matter in a relationship.

all this talk of growth hormones, leg operations and the like is pure nonsense. He is perfectly good as he is.

At age 31 none of the men I know who are his height are single. Not one of them has had issues finding (multiple) girlfriends over the years.

If he has no body hair he’s due to have further growth anyway. Look at the tanner stages of puberty - growth properly kicks in ag St4. If he doesn’t have hair he’s not there yet.

5ft6 is fine, if he doesn't get any taller it isn't a problem unless you make it into one by going on about it. It is a perfectly normal height, particularly as his father is 5ft8.
My husband was 5ft8 and two of our sons are slightly smaller - and it hasn't held them back in any way.

Just be careful he doesn’t stick to that diet when he’s done growing. It’s far too much saturated fat for his heart.

It’s really tough when they have a complex about their height. My 17 yo DS is 5ft 8 and went through premature puberty, so is finished growing. He had a brain tumour diagnosis when little which buggered up his hormones.
He has size 12 feet, so was likely to have been significantly taller had he have grown more “normally”. Endocrine chose not to treat him as he was regarded as tall back then and was still expected to reach 6ft even without hormone treatment.

It’s caused a lot of upset. He isn’t that short, but he’s surrounded by taller people - I’m 5ft 7, Dad is 6ft and older brother almost 6ft 3 - so he definitely feels upset about it all.

We’re now trying to work on his confidence, and he’s put his focus on taking care of his body at the gym/healthy eating

My ds carried on growing until 21 he has stopped now. He was average height amongst peers but now 6’5

And? What was the treatment @HollyhockDays

Neither you nor your husband are particularly tall. Even if he has a growth spurt he is unlikely to hit six foot. It is called genetic inheritance. You don’t say how much evidence there is that his puberty has really kicked in. It is possible that he will stretch to another couple of inches.

But as someone upthread remarked , he will find someone who loves him, probably quite a few people who love him, if he becomes a kind, funny, generously natured, hardworking man who contributes to society and makes an effort to be sociable because those are the actual qualities that we care about as human beings and look for in our partners rather than the limited ability to reach things down from high shelves and change lightbulbs.

My 21 year old is still growing, not much but definitely still growing.

From what you have said I'd assume your son will be too as most men reach the hight of their fathers.

5'6" really isn't that short. And both you and your husband are on the shorter side so that's just his genes.

My DH claims he is 5'7" but I am 5'7" and I'm taller than him!! He was an officer in the military and has had a few gorgeous girlfriends (me included obv 😂) so it hasn't hindered him in any way.

WTF? He's slightly short, not sick.

My DP is 5ft 7. So am I. I don’t think I ever thought about his height - seems perfectly normal to me. When we started dating I loved his smile, his eyes , his arm muscles , his whip smart humour. Now 16 yrs on there are many many things about him that irritate me but his height is not one of them!
Honestly- it’s not important. And I’ve had exes of 6ft 6 , 6ft ft 7 . What is important is the connection, enjoying being around him, able to laugh together , to trust him. Your son will be fine

Amazed at people recommending medical intervention for a perfectly normal height. Wow! I understand that he's worried, the world can be a tough and judgemental place, but even if he's stopped growing, the best things to focus on are developing confidence and kindness - both things that women are attracted to much more than mere height. As others have said, Tom Holland is one of the most attractive men out there - and Tom Cruise has done ok. Kendrick Lamar, Kit Harrington, Cillian Murphy... lots of short kings out there living their best lives 💖

Yes, it is a description not a judgement. And I did find his dad attractive, obviously - in fact, I never really thought about height much until I had a son!

And I've dated some 6ft wankers so it's not really where it's at.

But this isn't about me, it's about how my son feels about himself.

My son is 15.5 and I think is about 5’5”. I’m not worried at all. He’s a late developer (like me and DH), and I’m expecting him to end up about 5’10/11 like all the men in our family

It probably is worth going to the GP because if he’s not getting other signs of puberty that does generally warrant a GP visit from my googling last year. That said, if your DH says he was a late developer it’s probably just that, if he hasn’t got facial hair etc yet I’d say he still has a lot of growth left when those hormones surge. He’s not likely going to be very tall with his parents’ heights but I’m sure he’ll be taller than 5’6.

My 15.5 year old is 5’6 too (and I’d say mos for his friends are similar heights, a few taller outliers), he’s always been very average for height, I’m 5’5, dad is 5’10, he’s started getting hair etc this year and his height has suddenly started going up, I really hope he gets to his dad’s height! I do understand about the worry, height is important to men.

He was assessed and was given hormone treatment to stimulate puberty.

If you're a short woman who procreates with a short man what did you expect in terms of your children's height?

If he hasn't even needed to shave yet it's a waiting game. He's prob got at least the couple inches to match his dad to go.

I personally have always preferred short men. i cannot physically make it work with anyone very tall as I cant even kiss them standing up and I dont like feeling like a child as im slightly below average height. I have always fancied men between 5ft 6 and 5ft 8 as thats the most comfortable size for me. However, whats really attractive is confidence and humour. My uncle is 5ft 2 and both of his wives have been knock outs. He is also quite ugly but utterly hilarious and cocky. No issues getting women, never been single.

I don't believe we use our parents height to determine our own, do we? My mum is 5'6" and my dad is 5'11". Brother is 6 foot and I'm 5'2"!!!!!

My grandmother is 5'2" so that's where I thought my height could have come from.

DH is 5'9" as is his brother but their dad is 5'11" and their mum is 5'2" like me.

Anyway, I don't think he's done growing but I don't think he'll be 6 foot, like someone else stated.

Lots of cute, famous and shorter men. Maybe he needs this pointed out to him? Celebrity hotties that are short!

What height is he now?

Me 5ft 2 ,DH 5ft 11.
Son was 5ft 2 at 15. Now he is 6ft 1.
Growth spurt around 17.