AIBU to feel angry about my husband's £1000 a month car?

[Tunaturner]

My husband has bought a car that costs £1000 a month. He does earn a lot more and drives a lot so I get he wants to be comfortable. But I think cars are a waste of money.
I don’t know why I feel so angry.

We have our own money and pay half the bills,
but to me the money would be better spent on other things.
if I just met him on a date and he said he has a car that was £1000 month I wouldn’t see him again as it’s distasteful.
am I being irrational? I feel controlling saying he shouldn’t be spending that much.

As I said I do not get the show off thing I DID say I buy things that I enjoy and give me pleasure these may be expensive or may not in fact my decision is based on what gives me pleasure not ever what others think😒 so I think you missed the point🙄

In your opinion

the same for expensive watches that just tell the time? Shoes that just cover your feet? Is anything expensive worth it?

I don’t see the problem. At all.

All the comments about status, impressing people etc are just nonsense.

Like most people, he chose a car that he liked and that he could afford.

If he couldn’t afford the car, that would be an issue. But that’s not the situation. Most people chose cars based on their affordability.

@OonaStubbs i agree completely- they are merely a status symbol!

Id be fuming and do everything in my powers to force him to return it! Controlling? So what!

I read it as you were saying he was show off by buying a nice car. If you weren’t I apologise

A car is the classic penis substitute, basically - nuff said!

Can he afford it? If so, what is the problem?
I also do not see the issue with lease cars. It can be a way to have a new and reliable car.

And this comment is the classic lazy insult.

@Tunaturner it’s only a problem if you are paying more on ‘family/house’ things such as you suggested (soft furnishing, wall paper etc). Could you not agree that you both additionally set aside a monthly amount for ‘nice to haves for home’ so that what you each keep can’t possible be seen as ‘better spent on us’ or something similar?

Mine spends £10k per annum on his hobby which is fine. But when he moans about tightening our belts, money doesn't go as far as it used to. I do grit my teeth sometimes.

And yours is the classic lazy retort
(your turn 😀)

I think it’s irrelevant whether or not he can afford it. There are perfectly nice cars available for less than a third of this price. For that extra £8400 a year (!!) the money could be spent on something much more sensible or that they would both enjoy. They’re married - you don’t get to just make massive purchases without consulting the other person. £1000/month is bigger than my mortgage.

I'd have my doubts about his ability to drive said car adequately. Or to keep to speed limits and not get points on his licence at some point. As I assume it is a large car.

I have quite high standards for my cars and I see no issue in paying for them. Most people would be shocked at the cost of mine but I can afford it and can afford everything else I want. I also donate significant amounts each year too. I don’t understand why people re so bothered.

the money could be spent on something much more sensible or that they would both enjoy.

Like what?

What would be a more “sensible” way to spend £12,000 a year in your mind?

You do if you've agreed to separate finances, and you're both contributing whatever was agreed to the pot.

And "sensible" is subjective. And dull. He gets a car allowance, he won't be paying £1000 cash. Not that it matters. He earns it, contributes the agreed amount - what he chooses to do with the rest is his choice.

Why?

Rubbish. It sounds like her partner is a dick if he is whinging about the cost of strawberries and then going and making a unilateral decision that could potentially impact family life with zero consideration for anyone else.

Absolutely nothing to do with jealousy!

Even if I was a millionaire there is no way I'd spend this much a month on a car, it's ludicrous.

The bathroom made me actually gnash op (very tired and that time of the month😅). Honestly men are from mars, I do not get the need for a car that much, especially since a bathroom definitely could be done with that money

Zero basis for this ridiculous assertion.

Yup I would be saying that ALL the time. UGH.

Is it £1k cash a month? Or is it car allowance and a (potentially much smaller) cash contribution? And is insurance included?

The detail matters.

The money is a car allowance through his employer. If he got a cheaper car he wouldn't just get the difference as a pile of cash. It doesn't work like that.

I've just bought a car that costs £1000 a month. I put down £10,000 and will pay it off by Christmas- the last 8k. It is only a little SEAT Ibiza but is a fun car. Who cares about cars, they are just transport.

A Mercedes estate is such an underwhelming car looks wise. A friend has one for running the family around. I was glad to see the back of my estate car years.