New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

I would go back and say that the cost of stopping work is £30,000 and you can’t afford that. So unless they wish to pay it the work has to take place

i would ask the builders to be mindful about noise wherever they can, so no loud music, try to do noisy jobs a bit quieter etc.

I would re offer the office space, and see if they want to come and have a look at it, and suggest the library

but I wouldn’t be stopping work unless they pay for it

Of course we have. I'm really upset about this and have looked into a hiatus but it will cost more money than we could possibly afford. I can only imagine the distress it's causing them. It's a disastrous state of affairs.

Our ndn had a Hive heating system installed one Saturday.. 8 am until 7.45 pm. No let up whatsoever.. My dd had a new baby (living here) she went to stay with a relative for the day. 2 days later our ddog had a stroke and was pts.

Can't prove it was stress but vet didn't say it wasn't either.. Our house was shaking the entire day. Even the Hive people were shocked the ndn hadn't warned us.

It’s very unfortunate and yes, it’s likely to ruin your relationship with them permanently, but realistically you can’t stop works for 3 weeks. It’s nuts to expect you to lose 30k over it.

I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t go out of their way to be friendly or accommodate you moving forward though. The fact they asked you to stop in the first place tells me they’re likely to keep a grudge over it. People tend to be quite territorial when it comes to their kids, especially over something as important as A levels.

How do you know there is a library in town that is open full time? The Conservative government's cuts ensured the demise of many libraries. Equally, school libraries aren't always open to pupils.

The original comment was, yes.

Oh trust me you don’t. Bodge it bobs. Despite the hours it’s been going on since January with random weeks off.

Adapting to circumstances is what builds resilience, and the attitude of the parents on here who are claiming it is OK to hate your neighbours in this situation is why younger generations are lacking in this skill. Wanting to protect your kids is normal. But so is understanding the world does not revolve around you and them. Any kid who cant cope with adapting to what is happening around them is going to struggle at university or work. Or life in general.

I think their request is understable but ultimately unreasonable because of the costs to you.

What a shame you didn't make the effort to speak your new neighbours before you fixed dates with the builders. You should have kept them informed and could have avoided getting on on the wrong foot with them. Too late now.

I would explain that you can't postpone the builders now, but offer office space, a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and / or a generous coffee shop voucher to allow her to work there without penalty.

If she's aiming for top grades in these exams, it's pretty devastating for her to have this huge disruption to her routine sprung upon her now and very unsettling.

While it is unfortunate, a complete stranger is not responsible for your daughters study if this was to happen. It's no different to one of the utilities who may start digging outside your property. You don't get to control what strangers do..

Now.

Indeed.

If you have a local one that’s manned at all hours.

Our local one is only manned two days a week certain hours. To get in on unmanned hours you’ve got to be 18 as per your library card.

Say you are happy for them to pay £30k for the delay, see how quick they push her to the local library!

That's not the case were we live. If it's A levels, it most definitely won't be the case.

It sounds like they were suprised when work started? Surely all the conditions, hours, timescale of work was all contained within the party wall agreement? And you gave them notice of when would start?

Have you been in the rental for a year, or just for the building works?

I don't think you need to feel awful about anything. You haven't chosen the date to start the work.

Oh get a grip!! If you actually read the OP you would see she wasn’t faffing around!!!

Where not "were".

OP you have no choice but to continue.

Their DD has lots of options open to her, including your generous offer an an office.

I doubt GCSE will be another 3 weeks either. One full week next week and maybe one more day the week after depends on her subjects.

I totally understand what you're saying. I'd offer them any solution we could afford.

I’m living next door to major construction. I don’t hate them. I hate the noise but my house wasn’t built by a fairy godmother and elves overnight. If it wasn’t her a-levels then it’d be something else.

The office offer is more than generous.

Oh for goodness sake this is very unfortunate for them but not totally earth shattering

Kindly tell them a postponement would cost 30k and offer your office or suggest noise cancelling headphones with a sympathetic look

They won’t hate you at all and if they do then I’m afraid if it wasn’t this then it would be something else

However I’m curious- which exams? Scotland and England have finished!!!

That's what I was thinking. If not you have a pryon your hands Op. My neighbour had builders in to do a conversion with no PWA, luckily I was in ans asked them what they were doing.

We are in this situation and it's hell. I breathe too loudly for my son who is mid A-levels and now we have drilling through concrete. However, I wouldn't ask or expect them to postpone.

Renting a house for them would be beyond bonkers even if you could afford it

This is mad, seriously. You shouldn’t be offering to pay for accommodation or even considering it. A lot of the posters giving you a hard time are having you on. It’s a hobby.