New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

She’ll only be at school when actually sitting the exams, which started yesterday and run until the 23rd. Often, there are mornings/afternoons or days free in between the exams…your individual timetable depends on your chosen subjects (usually 7 subjects are chosen). School libraries (if the school has one) aren’t typically open after school hours.

Its hard but...

This is a big ask - it's not like asking please don't mow the lawn at 7am on a Sunday morning. Even without the costs.

Make your offers, office, noise cancelling headphones etc.

Say you will ask builders to be quiet - radios shouting etc.

Say you will try to match work in with her exam time table.

No evening work.

Explain about the extra cost and ask them would they stump up £30k if the tables were reversed?

For your later posts they do seem a bit fussy/precious and if you gave into this (or could afford to) what would their next request/expectaion be?

How can you afford a £550 extension so on top of the house purchase how much have you spent, is it close to a million? Why have you chosen this option and can't afford to buy furniture?

Agree! I live in London (terrace) and there are usually multiple building works each year in our fairly small, in terms of distance, street or the houses backing onto our garden (small gardens so still disruptive)

I do think stamp duty should go. Or be drastically reduced.
I think too as part of the planning permissions council tax should be increased at the point of completion.
This would stop some of the larger extensions that occur. And maintain what were modest homes build accordingly for the area they were built in. And make them more affordable to others.
If you want a bigger home that needs half a million spent on it, go and find one already built.
Yes you might need to do up a bathroom or a kitchen. But large extensions are in another league.

Yes no problem, where do i send the £30k invoice that needs paid first.

When they refuse, you refuse. Easy.

I would of course ask the builders to be understanding, maybe get a study timetable from the neighbour that can be 'considered' if possible. Maybe the builders could return the favour with a schedule of any excessive noisey jobs they need to do so they can work around it.

Give and take can take care of a lot of issues if they are willing to work with you.

It will be 550k euros as they are in ROI, so a bit less than £550k. Also wages and costs are much higher in ROI than in UK, so building work would be a bit more expensive than here. I do agree though that it seems a huge sum for some remodelling. Knocking down and rebuilding would very likely be cheaper, but may be prevented by local regs

Do you lack comprehension skills. I do know, in fact probably more than 99% of posters on this thread about the building process, timescales, delivery and frequency in the UK. I will state again that posters' claiming they studied for exams under conditions of constant construction of extensions and renovations and it never did them any harm, blah, blah, blah and other made up rubbish about snowflakes are probably fibbing on a grand scale. If you give London as an example, the housing shortage has doubled since 2006 and so it is highly unlikely they endured this particular noise from a construction when it just wasn't as big a thing as it is in 2026. But don't let the truth stop you posting the pseudo indignant mutterings.

Although council tax could be re calculated after building regs approval
This would take into account not just those that need planning but also those extended under permitted development

I assume the OP is not returning..

So how much are you spending, presumably at least 800 Euros in total, is there nothing already ready to move into for that in Ireland?

I think she’s got her answers and doesn’t have an obligation to disclose her financial position to a randomer on the internet, who doesn’t think she’s genuine anyway?

Maybe as she’s not returning, you might want to step away from the thread?

Maybe she wants a project and to personalise her home, given she’s got the funds to do so. She can have the build as she wants it and not have to live with someone else’s choices, which in time no doubt she’ll change anyway.

How is how much OP is spending relevant
She said it’s a big job that will probably last till Christmas.

I'm a big believer in doing the best you can to get on with your neighbours, but this does seem a bit too much. Surely they have family or good friends that the daughter could go to, or failing that, Dh's idea is a good one.

Why do so many people insist on questioning the OP so much? Why does it cost what it costs, why has it taken so long... Fuck's sake leave it out.

OP, I think your DH's offer is very generous. I also think she can work in the school and/or a public library. I did most of my exam revision in libraries and a lot of people do. Good headphones are also an obvious solution (but I agree with people saying don't take them a pair; that'll get up their noses!)
I'd try for a very honest, calm conversation with them. Have you told them the builders are working to a set timeframe and therefore would incur impossible extra costs? If not, tell them now.
And say what you've said here: that you value good neighbourly relationships and that this is making you feel dreadful (but remain clear that you simply can't afford to pause work now).
I think it can be salvaged, but it depends on how reasonable they can be.
And TBH, if they cannot or will not understand your position after you've laid it all out for them, they may not be people you want a relationship with anyway.
But I hope it doesn't turn out like that.

Wow you are incredibly rude and presumptuous. I haven’t taken exams with neighbours doing building work (actually my parents did an extension when I was taking A levels!) but my dc has. I have had dc doing GCSEs or A levels for approx the last 5 years in a row. Neighbours have been knocking down small extensions and replacing with larger kitchen diners. If I stand in the garden and look up at least 3 put of every 4 houses has had a loft, some recently.

The new noise cancelling AirPods are magical and work whether you’re playing music or not. You could definitely gift her a set and that would help immediately

Well I quoted the OP as you it's relevant to her as she said she can't afford a house that is ready to move in to. Ao are houses incredibly expensive in Ireland.

So have they agreed about the office or what’s the outcome @Grammarninja

If it were me I'd go to them and say that you looked into because you understand how important those exams are but unfortunately the builders would cost an additional £30k if you postponed by 3 weeks and you just can't afford to take that hit.

I am genuinely blown away by some of the responses on this thread - of course exams at that level are super important but you also cannot expect children to be in complete silence when the world is existing around them. Kids go through exams every day in really complex situations and while yes it's not ideal it's part of life. I sat mine with a mother who was actively suicidal so home wasn't even an option for me to study in and I spent a lot of time at the library and did really well. If a child needs quiet that's a viable option if they can get there. They'll also have the option of either a public or a school library and presumably there will be no work at the weekend or evenings. "I'd hate you forever if this were me" are people really this entitled?!

I don't think they were unreasonable to ask but I'd definitely think they'd be highly unreasonable to hate you for it.

I wouldn't bring noise canvassing headphones but I'd offer to buy some along with use of the office as a quiet space though I don't see them taking you up on that. I'd also be up front on the additional costs and maybe they'll offer to meet you on that somewhere and you can reassess. Another option could be offering to pay for additional tutoring sessions for their child if there's any subjects they're worried about in particular or for a taxi to get them to/ from the library each day if you're not on a bus route. But outside of that op, I don't think there is anything more you can do. If they decide to make life unpleasant following that then I'd say they were never going to be overly pleasant neighbours to begin with.

And? So what, it's not ideal and it's ok for the neighbour to ask and it's ok for the OP to have said no. What I don't understand is that you can't comprehend that it isn't what some people want for their DC and they are trying their best to help.

Amazed that for someone who earlier queried if this thread was real that you still on it and still moaning about amateurs with your own indignant mutterings🤔

As the OP stated the cost as a factor in her lack of choice. It seems bit fat fetched to lack choice when you have £800 Euros at least to spend on a property.

Yes some areas are more expensive than others and some houses are more expensive than others
Much like England it depends where you live and what you want

Its irrelevant though