New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

No is a complete sentence OP. The neighbour and their child can manage and they will.

Yes absolutely, that is logical and correct. Which is why it's strange that OP said they didn't know that work was going to start until it actually began, abd thats why they couldn't give advance warning

This is how I know you have no experience as it doesn't take that long if you know people it really doesn't. Amateurs get bumped down the waiting list for builders if they are working with developers. I absolutely do know what I'm talking about. Besides, this still doesn't answer why someone so keen for more room and stability for their toddler would take on a big renovation project as amateurs, it makes no sense at all!

Have to agree with the other posters who ask why on earth you haven't communicated with neighbours in a much more detailed way earlier. GCSEs are important and I can only imagine the added stress you've put on the family and the girl in particular. Don't take round headphones round as they aren't going to combat the barrage of noise. For those saying the girl can go to the library or school I think that's rather trite and unhelpful. Having previously lived next to inconsiderate neighbours when they were building an extension after we'd been incredibly polite and informative with ours - I would say you'll have your work cut out to improve relations going forward!

Make sure your builder understands and follows guidance for working hours and an absolute no to work at weekends.

Q. Is their house attached?

Load of precious rubbish.
That is what the library is for!

Dealt with upthread: they are the unattached neighbours.

I appreciate the issues involved.
But it doesn’t mean something better could / should not prevail.
Removing stamp duty might help.

Absolutely absurd. They can buy her some noise blocking headphones perfectly cheaply on Amazon - problem solved.
Some people really take the piss.
I have some, they block out every sound as my neighbours are currently renovating their place.

My child is in the middle of GCSEs. Two houses on our street are in the middle of noisy building works, pneumatic drills, deliveries the lot. My child just puts their headphones on and cracks on. We live in London, this is just noisy life (dogs barking, school noise, Heathrow flight path…). We have postponed our own minor building work though! Your neighbours just have to live with it.

Anyone who sees an older house divided into possibly rental accommodation with 9 bathrooms up for sale knows that a big renovation job is a given.🙄

Regulations for building work have dramatically increased and so have resulting costs.

I live in an old urban area and every house, often probate sales, automatically are presumed to involve a big job to bring it up to modern specs.

There is a huge housing crisis in ireland as there are in many countries, and the OP very likely didn't have a huge selection of houses to choose from in her chosen area.

Google the population of ireland and educate yourself.....it's approximately 5 million, a fraction of the UK.

Prices from what I am reading prices have increased 50%+ in 5 years.

The OPs neighbours have done this, yet are cheeky enough now to think they get to dictate to her.

OP is obliged to follow local building work time restrictions and nothing else.

Neighbours this entitled will no doubt be a nightmare no matter what happens.

I'm a fabulous neighbour. Just ask those either side of me.

Of course there are extensions in London now and in the last 15/20 years but the reality is that people saying that experienced building work and extensions in their youth in the same way and on such a scale are not really telling the truth as the renovations, extensions, building work culture was not the same as today. In London for example as you are very keen on this example, the housing shortage in relative terms has nearly doubled in the last 20 years. This is why people are extending, renovating, converting houses. Consequently, it is untrue to state that you were impacted by this particular noise as a teenager in the past and the reason that teenagers can't cope now is that they are just 'snowflakes' 🙄

@Grammarninja as others have said, you need to stop tying yourself up in knots over this. It’s your neighbour’s issue, and if they hate you so be it. You have been sympathetic and offered a solution. It’s beyond your control now unless you find £30k and quite frankly I wouldn’t pay £30k for someone else’s kid to have quiet time during exams. It’s the parents issue to deal with, not yours. Noise is part of life and the sheer entitlement of the neighbours is shocking. I’d think it was a joke request!

It's totally unreasonable for them to even suggest such a thing.

Your husband offering the kid an office for free is more than enough as a compromise. How could they think your entire world and building your home could revolve round the needs of a stranger's one child?

I need to work on my skim-reading.

In that case, I feel for the girl but they are being unreasonable. Life is tough.

Exactly. When our neighbours were doing extensive building work they gave us a start date, rough timescales, knowledge of when the noisiest works would take place, agreed a specific 1 hour window where they would do quieter jobs/take lunch break so my toddler could have a nap. During the worst week I took my girls to stay with my parents, I had advance notice so could make a plan, which it doesnt seem the neighbours were given the oppurtuinity to do. In return we allowed they to park their car on our drive so builders could use theirs, access to our water and electrics when theirs turned off etc. We did same when we did building work.

No one needs to delay anything, but good commuinication and considerate building practices can go a long way

550k?
Five hundred and fifty thousand pounds? To knock some bits down and make the place smaller?
Jesus.

Absolutely. Some of the responses here are bonkers and incredibly entitled.

Start saying no to these people.

You're being too accommodating. Its a bit shit. But sometimes people have work done.

I was making the point that people on this thread who are stating that they had to endure the noises of construction sites for extensions, whilst undertaking their GCSES etc. probably didn't as in the last 20 years the housing shortage has doubled for example in London which is the reason for many of these extensions, conversions. Equally, libraries have had so many cuts under the Tories that in small towns they have closes down, have part time hours. The city ones are not conducive to study if they are being used to sleep in by the homeless, again testimony to austerity and the rise of homelessness, hubs for warmth as people can't afford their energy bills, toddler time and coffee shops that are loud. Life is no way as easy as it was for the average teenager in terms of opportunities and prospects, even 12-15 years ago so I find it laughable that people seem to think they were more resilient, on a whole - no you weren't!

I think the fact your husband had offered use of an office for her to use is incredibly kind to be honest OP. Of course you can’t lose £30k. That’s crazy. And if she’s revising in an office the surely that means less distractions found in the home and temptation to watch the tv etc instead of study.

@Grammarninjaas an
aside (sorry for slight detail) is Ireland very much a builders’ market at the moment? This price does suggest it is. Do you have a domestic building contract with your construction workers? With work of that value, I really hope so.

I understand the RIAI (Royal Institute of the Architects of Ireland) domestic building contract are the closest Irish counterpart to RIBA forms (which is what we used). This formalises things of which the builder needs to give you notice, which you can then communicate with your neighbour about.

Most of maintaining good relations with neighbours during building work boils down to regular, accurate, timely communication - but this does assume they’re reasonable.

These responses are wild. No OP, you don’t delay the builders at a cost to you. Christ, the kid won’t survive in the actual world if this is her parents attitude. We’ve been expected to work in offices with building work going on next door with zero accommodations, I’ve even taken law exams with work going on in the same building! She’ll cope perfectly fine. Stop tying yourself up in knots about this. It’s not your problem to solve.

I’ll be controversial and agree with this.
Honestly it’s a no-win situation.
Living next to building works is awful, not alone if you’ve got a child sitting important exams. They will resent you, and likely cause you issues and potentially make you not want to live there anyway. Having issues with neighbours is the absolute worst.

However the alternative is you loose 30k.

There’s really no winning, and all you can do is make a judgement call and figure out which scenario is best for you.