New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

I expect some are ….

It's relevant as the tale doesn't make any sense, she had no hope, no choice, no agnecy apparently over anything. The lack of choice resulting in the purchase of this house but has quite a big budget for someone with no choices. If you are this sensitive about what your neighbours think in life, why the heck would get involved in renovating homes!

The world’s biggest over reaction! They haven’t been faffing they’ve been doing!!

Yes, of course but is minimum 800euros not get you anything decent in Ireland then?

Yes, of course but is minimum 800euros not get you anything decent in Ireland then?

My dd started the A level equivalent in Ireland yesterday. Same week council decided the pipes outside our house needed digging up and replacing. Noise and disruption is terrible. Workman parked across my driveway this morning spent nearly 10min trying to find him to move us van so I could take my dd to her exam!
But that's life she'll get on with it regardless I would never expect a neighbour to cease building work for 3 weeks while my dd was doing exams.

I feel for the girl. Hope it doesn’t affect her chances of getting her university or college place

its a stressful time for her already without this adding to it

How's it irrelevant, when the OP made affordability a relevant point to her purchasing this particular house. Equally, the OP stated they cannot afford a house that is ready to move in to- what on 800 minimum euros?? The OP made affordability relevant it is her words that have made it relevant.

Local transport isn’t great in Ireland. Many towns do not have trains and buses can be rare.
If she needed a particular area for work, school etc I can easily see she wouldn’t have a lot of choice
A cousin of mine has been looking for a couple of years for something near work so I know it can be very taxing

The world doesn't stop because young people are having exams. If the council were digging up the road outside, should they put that on hold too? Do no pupils live in homes with barking dogs or crying babies or noisy younger siblings?

OP has been more than generous in offering an office space for study. The girl can also use the library, or noise cancelling headphones.

Very good advice @Grammarninja

it sounds like unless they get their own way ALL. THE. TIME. They’ll hate you anyway.

just remind them of the offers, that you’ll talk to your builders to minimise noise to the most necessary only, and then withdraw. You’ve been more than accommodating tbh, and they sound high maintenance generally

as others have said, draw a line, stop pandering to them, with respect and manners, but be firm. It will only ever get worse otherwise

I feel for them as we had this when DD1 was going through A levels in the second COVID round. All we asked our neighbours to do was not to use a pneumatic drill for the hour that she was doing a music aural paper that she had to listen to and gave them the best part of a weeks notice on the timing so plenty of time to work around it. They refused and she dropped a grade as a result of that. As you can imagine I absolutely hate them and will do nothing for them.

However this is a very different situation and I think that you are trying to be reasonable. Id go round with a bunch of flowers or a bottle and explain the situation how you simply cannot afford the £30k to stop. Explain that you'd like to do all you can to help as you are very sympathetic and reiterate the offer of the office space and also offer to buy her a pair of noise cancelling headphones. I think being reasonable and apologetic and clear about your circumstances should go a long way to help.

The world doesn't stop - no but the world has certainly become more polarised due to people having no critical self awareness or empathy

I expect in some areas it does and in some areas it doesn’t ..,…

I have a child doing A level exams at the moment and we've had to move in with relatives in another town due to emergency building work that needs doing at our home that couldn't be postponed. Our home was not safe (think flood/fire/electrics/roof) and this was absolutely not planned. He's got a bedroom and a desk and wifi at a relative's house and has been able to revise and get to all exams. It has been a faff and unfortunate but we've made sure that school know, that he's got a good environment and so on. Major difference is that it's not a neighbour's home that's made us need to do this.

However - I think it's reasonable for you to speak with this family to explain everything in your post - the timings, the money involved, and the offer of an alternative space. As well as your acknowledgement that it's unfortunate timing for their child.

Tell your neighbours that to postpone would cost you £30k.

Also, most of my son's mates finish their A level exams on 11th or 12th June and the majority of GCSEs are over by then from what I can see.

I WFM and if a neighbour's having work done in the day I either suck it up and put some earphones in or I take myself off to the community centre, library, arts centre, cafe, sister's house etc to get my work done. It's a lesson in flexibility and resilience! I do get both sides though, I just think there's a way you can make sure not to damage future relations with them while also not losing £30k!

Well I'm sure in some very expensive areas it doesn't but it's hardly a convincing argument if you are arguing you can't afford anything decent.

Why on earth do you presume to know the ins and outs of her finances better than she does?
Also, it's quite feasible that having spent whatever they did buying the house they simply don't have another 30K down the back of the sofa. Is it not?

You’re just showing a lot of jealousy really in a thread you don’t believe anyway.

It’s really odd behaviour!

That’s nonsense.

Have you actually had children do A levels or GCSE’s.
They are on study leave.

I don't she posted that they couldn't afford anything that would allow them to move in straight away. Then states huge budget for a domestic project that sounds like they're being ripped off and then would have paid for the house in addition - doesn't sound like they are struggling. It is called, 'deduction'.

The 30000 was the answer to the reasonable question from the neighbour, can you postpone. The OP can't due to cost so that's the answer. Asking a reasonable question is not a big deal.

They are very expensive in major towns and cities, such as Dublin, Galway etc. Rurally they are much more reasonable.

@Grammarninja When my dd was at uni her halls were being renovated so there was a lot of noise and disruption. If the uni think the students can deal with this on their premises whilst trying to study, then I am sure your next door neighbours dd can.
I think you are being very generous offering her the office to study in, and I think if it bothers her so much then she should take you up on it. I suspect, however, it's her mum or parents who don't want the disruption during the day, but unfortunately people have work done on their houses, as they have, it's noisy, but usually it's over in a relatively short period of time. I would make sure weekends are quiet so they can enjoy them.
Hope your build goes well

Oh your concerned about them being ripped off?? How on earth can you comment that you think they’re being ripped off?

"Jealousy" 🤣 I'm really not, certainly not jealous of being ripped off for building works.

Is that all you've got, losing the argument so you tell me I'm jealous. This is a an "unhinged" argument. Are you going through the same yourself, can't find anywhere, know you've been ripped off by builders, if so I'm sure you'll get through it with some resilience.

This is how budgets work is it not??

You have x amount available to spend on something and then the ability to live and cover your bills after that... having access to a spare £30k obviously isn't in the budget. I'm not sure why you think that's somehow relevant. If op was wanting something particular in a specific area and has taken a hit on renovation costs in order to secure a property (that will obviously be a good investment for them) then why would you assume she should have a spare £30k laying around? I think it's clear from ops posts that the process has already been more expensive than they had anticipated and is already putting them under financial pressure.