New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

Ignoring noise reduction hours is just SUCH poor form. A former friend of mine just let her builders work over an entire Easter BH weekend (claimed “oh we had no idea until our neighbours complained to us!”)

Then had the temerity to complain when other neighbours did the same to her. Complete hypocrisy.

Rules are for other people, apparently.

The comments on this are mental!!!

Its your home OP and it sounds like yyou have been entirely reasonable, people asking you to justify what your spending £550k on an extension are laughable!

We have had 2 neighbors round us do large 2 storey extensions and it really hasnt been that much on an inconvience bar the usual .

If you dont want to be impacted with your neigbors building work then move to a detached house out the way, otherwise accept its a part of every day living and get on with it!

How have they done that when they have merely asked a question. They didn't know the answer would be that it's not possible as top expensive to accommodate, how is this unreasonable? It is merely a question. The question is not unreasonable and actually if the OP had bothered to speak with them she would have known about their situation ages ago. Equally, what building work for an extension takes a year to organise it's not a high rise residential! None of this adds up.

The Leaving Cert exams are hugely important exams. I’m afraid I’d be livid if this happened my child.

That said, the office isn’t a bad solution, but not as good as being at home obviously.

Why on earth are you entertaining this?

I do not object to the neighbour asking the question. I have never said that. It is fair enough to ask.

I am challenging some of the posters on here who said that they would not be responsible for their actions, and they would hate the neighbours ‘forever’ if they didn’t postpone etc. It seems a fairly extreme response to me.

How is it "mental" of the residents in situ to ask whether it can be delayed by three weeks? They wouldn't have known the 30000 bill to do so is why not until they asked?

Taking a year to organise building work is crazy for an extension.

I wouldn't do it even if it cost me nothing. They're trying to mark their territory and being cheeky.

I bet you're a great neighbour. What a selfish attitude.

I would never dream of asking someone to delay their building work.

The OP has kindly offered some solutions but the reality is she doesnt need to offer anything, its her house.

And its noones business how long it takes to organise, why should you care about that, there are many factors including planning, securing builders and money. Good builders in our area have waitlists of 8-10 months.

OP, why haven't you spoken to them within a year. Also, if you are having so many difficulties with the organisation of this, why are you even entertaining it, if you know what you are doing these things don't take a year to organise.

That's a kind offer from your DH. YANBU at all imo

Absolutely not. Just say no. Be polite but firm, you don't want to enter into a negotiation.

Why wouldn't you, why is it so outrageous?

You clearly don't work in the industry if you think it takes this long to sort out.

That’s a weird thing to say. You have no idea of the OP’s location, rules, planning permissions, availability of builders, cancellations etc. It’s quite naive of you to think that if you ‘know what you are doing’, it all goes swimmingly! We have never done renovations, but listening to friends who have done, it can be a real nightmare, and very unpredictable.

No, I don't know about Ireland, that's a fair comment. If you know what you are doing it doesn't take that long to sort out unless you are amateurs.

If your DH has a suitable (non noisy) office space I think he has been very nice in offering it. Regarding the work, general background noise shouldn’t be that distracting. Nowadays, many young people have high quality headphones and can block out some background noise with headphones. Are you doing work that will vibrate through their house like pile driving or cutting into a party wall to insert beams as that can be harder to ignore? If so you could plan the times of this with the builders and give them warnings and remind them of the availability of the office space. Also, you could suggest white noise headphones if they haven’t thought of it and ask your builders to try not to shout during the three weeks of exams. Let them know you have done this so they know you are trying your best.

I can recall many unanticipated inconveniences during my exam periods when I was younger, including building work in and outside the university library for over a year with builders shouting and loads of noise. No portable technology to use white noise headphones then! We all have to learn to deal with the obstacles and be resilient.

White noise headphones may be all she needs but the offer of office space in addition is even better. If she doesnt have suitable headphones maybe you could gift her some which is much cheaper than losing £30k from delaying the building works.

In the Uk

Well surely everybody is an amateur when they first start? Should they not do renovations then? Perhaps you should hire out your services nationally as you are such an expert, and things never go wrong for you! You’d be very popular around here.

I don't think many people would accomodate a delay if it was going to cost them £30k. I certainly wouldn't. If that makes me selfish I'm not bothered.
As there are other solutions for the ndn d to study, what id the fuss about? They can buy her noise cancelling headphones end of problem.
I'm another who takes the attitude a person needs to work problems out, not expect the world to bend pander to their needs.

Are you the neighbour?

What a stupid comment, the OP has tried to compromise.

That's a ridiculous request. Surely she'll be at school all day whilst the work is happening, and can stay at the library studying after school if that's easier. Of course make sure your builders don't work past 5 or at the weekend. it's not like it's making noise all night.

I think a lot of posters don’t realise when you renovate a large project you sign and agree a date on a building contract. In which you are legally obliged to give access to site. There are ramifications for not allowing access and delaying. Time is money.

Construction noise for residential renovations is something we all endure unless you have a large plot with space around you. Your neighbours can choose to rent an Airbnb for three weeks elsewhere if they require beyond typical expectations for these exams.

The only possible way this could be a reasonable question is if the neighbours genuinely have no clue how difficult delaying building works are…which is not the case as they’ve done them themselves.
What are the builders supposed to do in that 3 weeks they’ve set all their plans for? Fill it with odd jobs to get by? Let down every supplier and delivery they’ve organised and coordinated to start work? OP has likely already had to wait their turn for the builders to finish previous projects as most builders have a wait time sometimes up to two years for the excellent ones and to suggest to them please can we delay 3 weeks for a reason like this is just bonkers in my opinion.
Whether OP spoke to them or not, they are where they are now and it doesn’t make this question reasonable based on the neighbours having large scale building experience.

Please don’t gift the family anything. Sounds like they have a lovely home and I’m sure they can find a part of it somewhere where she can study apart from the worst of the noise. Just explain firmly and politely you have enquired and it will cost well into 5 figures to delay which is simply not possible.
I agree with those who say builders should not play loud music — that’s antisocial. But construction noise can’t be helped and they must adhere strictly to the agreed times of operation. More than that is not reasonable to expect.