New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

The OP has offered a office space 500m away

Challenges happen. You have to deal with them. Ideally young people would have nice quiet study environments. But because life is unpredictable and challenges happen, we have to learn to manage them. Not panic and create a drama. It’s such poor modelling for children.

I think that is the best response so far, @Grammarninja

They’re not stereotypes. You only have to look around you to know that.

I think you are completely reasonable to say ‘sorry it’s not possible, it will cost 30k’ and leave it at that.

If they react badly, that’s on them

Compromising would be a nice gesture to neighbours that she might live next door to for the next 20 years. When we were having building works, next door had a toddler and we were happy to not drill and bang at certain hours of the day so that the child could sleep. It didn’t delay anything on our build and our neighbours aren’t entitled or cheeky and their daughter is lovely - they were just stressed out parents who needed us to be a bit sympathetic .

I like to live in a community where we care about each other which is why I'm so sad that new neighbours are going to be so put out and that we'll never be friends
Even if there was no building work, you would never have been friends with these neighbours, because they are just not that sort of people.

You might like caring about people, but they like getting their own way.

It is a big mistake to try and be caring to people who don't care about you. If you go through life like this, selfish people will always spot you as a doormat and take advantage.

I can see both sides here. From your end, no, you can't delay, you've paid a lot of money etc. But they won't see that. They'll just see the final picture: that you've been waiting a year and this is now happening at a pivotal time for their daughter. I highly doubt they realise a delay would cost £30,000. I would knock with a bottle of wine and some flowers and explain. I would be really apologetic - as they're just thinking of her and you're right, you don't want to be on bed terms - and reiterate the office use. It doesn't sound like anyone is being especially unreasonable. More likely heightened emotion, stress and misunderstanding on their side and building work you can't avoid on yours.

Which kind of explains the views you’re expressing here.

I don't know if it's fiction, but I do feel there is some selective sharing of information, and OP has declined to respond to relevant queries around when they actually knew works starting, when they moved into their temporary accomodation, whether they have agreed and mitigations. Also that she did know neighbour was doing their leaving cert - in all the discussions they had with them around the building work, fences I cannot believe that OP did not know the ages of the neighbours children.

I also feel OP's first post was a bit disingenuous - she asks are they unreasonable to consider continuing to build, but that it's also impossible for then to stop. So what's the point in asking if its unreasonable if no intention of stopping anyway?

The £30k also seems a bit strange, considering they live in ROI, which uses euros!

Which might be a great solution or it might not as depends on what this office space is like. Can she freely get in and out, can she easily get on internet, does she have a laptop she can connect to a screen/take with her etc

Neighbours are CF.

Weren’t you proudly announcing upthread that ‘consideration and manners is something I work on personally’. Not much evidence of any of that in this post is there ?

Not really, with the cost of housing and the issue around blended/second marriage families, most children don't have quiet to study in, or even their own bedroom/dining room. There's been a study space offered, it's three weeks. It's better to keep a routine, up and out, than procrastinate studying at home. I'm from a low income area, children get the bus from 11, people are having to move house because of evictions/costs. Teens gave to use study spaces. I don't recognise teens as described on here. I know people who have the misfortune of them turning up to do bank work/temporary etc and thought that they were exaggerating the level of incompetence and wanting to be spoon fed through life. The world isn't going to stop to accommodate them.

@NeverLookInTheMirrorOP is in another county - it’s the Irish Leaving Cert.

FGS🙄
So many options open to the neighbours to help their d, noise cancelling headphones for a start among other suitable solutions offered for 3 weeks.
So, the neighbours will hate OP and your point is?

Of course you shouldn’t cancel pre-arranged, costly work. Do they think that if there were council roadworks on your street, they would be cancelled because children have exams (or for any other reason)? Of course not. It’s inconvenient, but only an exceptionally self-sacrificing and non-assertive person would agree to their request.

How lovely of you to offer space for her to study in. They're idiots if they don't take you up on that instead of moaning. But it sounds as though they like a moan. Some people are just like that, unfortunately.

You seem desperate for attention. You haven't hesitated to call people "stupid' yourself whilst calling others "rude" for saying it. You might want to reflect that deliberately derailing a thread is also considered quite rude.

I didn’t mention GCSE… I said leaving cert. Did you even read my post? And I didn’t always live in central London. I grew up in the rural countryside. The fact is that when noise occurs during exams you have to get over it and crack on. She won’t go far at university if she can’t handle a little noise during exams…. It’s a given in student digs.

Yes- I agree, my posts demonstrate that I have critical self awareness and empathy.

Student accommodation- yes. University libraries open 24/7 precisely because students need somewhere quiet to study away from accommodation. U

It’s really tough but you have helped find a solution. What did they say to the spare office offer?

I am impressed that your husband kindly offered a quiet space for her to study. If I were your neighbours, I'd be grateful and not bother you further.

Yup!

So which one is it, you are contradicting yourself there- the teens around your way have to work in challenging conditions and are robust as a result. The young people in work places where you live are 'snowflakes'? Challenging conditions and evictions do not make for a good opportunities in life